Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear PEACHWHORE of MSN messager.

GET A LIFE!! !! If you have such viral software, as I rightfully suspect, I hope you DO find the wrong target someday! What honest to GOD reward do you get from pulling bull like that?

Dear Mom

I do not hate you like you think I do. I do love you. The truth is I do not know how to express my emotions that well. It is very difficult. Mom, I am sorry for all of the BS that I put you through from my childhood until now. I am sorry for all of my disrespect during my teen years to you. I am sorry for the s**t I put you through when I was 18-19. I am sorry that at the age of 13 that you had to go to the hospital because of me. I am sorry I destroyed you mom. I love you mom.

Cube

Have you tried contacted her and talking to her and telling her about your DX?

She knows about my DX. I still visit my parents alot. In fact, I removed a virus from my mom's computer one time. I had to remove it manually and I had to figure out how to remove it manually.

First, I had to get the name of the virus. Second, I had to delete all of the entries in the windows registry that had the virus name. Third I had to stop the program from running in process explorer and finally I deleted the files in the directory.

Anyway, my dad does intercede alot between us and has to play translator sometimes. It is almost like my mom and I speak two different languages. My father is able to go between both.

Dear S,

Why ? Why are you blanking me ? You said we were friends but now you won't even start to talk to me or join in a convo im in, you don't even say Hi to me. I don't know why, or what I've done that made you change towards me. Just so you know it hurts like almost nothing else when someone you considered a friend starts ignoring you. I have no idea why things are the way they are between us but if you don't like me romantically I don't care I just want to be friends anyway.

I miss being friends with you.

lotr_addict

Dear Gemima,
Do you remember back in Year 9 when you first joined our school? Thanks to you I was discarded. Not being invited out anymore because you were now the Sixth One. I panicked and went into a depressive spiral where I was put on anti-depressants.

I really wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to feel alone and abandoned like I was. I thought some very dark thoughts - I sickened myself at how graphic and obscene they were. I hate you. I really hate you. It burns bright inside me every bloody day and every bloody night. But you had to come and put a little novel spin on it, didn't you?

I grew attached to you. I liked the little things. You watch Family Guy, every adult mistakenly calls you 'Gemma' and you just become this little adorable ball of ginger when angry. See? I'm using words like adorable.

Remember your birthday party last year? When I got drunk and lumbered over and told you "how much I loved you" and "how I could never tell you when sober because I was terrified of what you might say." The next day I asked you if you remembered what I had said. You said no but you didn't make eye contact with me. For months.

How can you be such a massive part of my life whilst I'm such a miniscule part of yours? It isn't right.

-JP

That's good. I hope things are well now between you two.

Dear God/Superman/Dude or whatever who lives up in the clouds,

Please to make sure this upcoming April Fools Day is a calm and uneventful day.

PLEASE!! !! !

Surely sure about this,
Blue_bean

Dear Mum,

This is the hardest thing for me to do, but I have to do it for the sake of my own health. I forgive you for yelling at me and scolding me the four times that I had those poop accidents. Once at the age of 4, twice at the age of 6 and once at the age of 8. I was convinced that I was put in Special Education in Elementary School as a punishment for having that first accident at the age of 4. I've felt suicidal as a teenager because the words kept repeating themselves in my head. I'm ready to let all that go and forgive you for my own sake, for my own health.

The one who never measured up.

Dear Jesus

I believe I am inadvertently hurting other people around me. I believe I have destroyed my mother mentally and the same thing may be occurring with my wife. I may be inadvertently attempting to make those around me caricature of myself or in other terms making them an aspie. I believe I may have to isolate myself from society to prevent further damage. I believe it could be possible that I could be like Typhoid Mary spreading misery and death. Is this what I need to do Jesus or is there another way?

Cube

Dear ---
Thank you for saving my dog. Thank you. I love you.

Dear __________
I love you and miss you so much. I'm so glad we're together. It just seems to get even better all the time. I love being with you. I wonder what my surprise is?

Dear God

You don't actualy answer prayers, and if you did, my family would have been happier on an earlier date. You don't make devine intervention either. Why do you allow people to be mad and hate each other all the time if you care so much? Why have a hell in the first place? Why not just destroy what you supposedly don't like? If people are going to feel pain, where they physicaly don't, and feel emotions where there are no chemicle balances, why can't we have at least some example of how?


never mind.... humanised God.

Dear Former In-laws:

I'm not weird. I'm not snobby. I'm not stupid. I'm not awkward. Well, I am awkward but there's a reason. I have asperger's syndrome. There's an actual physical reason why I'm responding differently than you do to things. Mind you, this doesn't mean all of you are normal. Neuro-typical doesn't automatically mean "not f*cked up". Some of you are really f*cked up. In fact, you're outright jerks, alcoholics and I'd bet in Vegas that there's a couple of you who have mental disorders of a different type. In fact, I'll even bet which ones. I'm that sure. Here's how I'm different than you: I've gotten help. Not only is the way that I behaved not entirely within my control or understanding, but I've come to understand it and have gotten help to improve, even though I didn't even harm or inconvenience anyone with my behavior. You'll always be a miserable bunch of sh*t sacks that intentionally bother the hell out of me.

But here's the rub: I'll never actually tell you. I could explain it to you to futilely try to garner some understanding from you but that would be a waste of my time. I'll never be vulnerable to any of you. I'll never share that there is something verifiably wrong with me. You'll use it against me. It'll turn into something it isn't. It'll end up ruining my life. I don't trust any of you, given your past psychotic, deluded, sociopathic behavior.

So forever now I'll keep it to myself and have the memories of how horribly you treated me, knowing now that you lacked any compassion for anyone who acted differently, that you had no mercy toward anyone who didn't fit into the expected mold, that you had no tolerance for someone who honestly had no idea what to do or why she was so unacceptable to you. But it'll be okay because, honestly, you're unacceptable to me now.

See you in Hell,

The We Function Mom.

Dear Mom:

I realize you work incredibly hard for me. I realize I don't shower you with reassurance and affection like you want. I realize your life has been basically a crap heap and that I certainly don't make it any better. But mom, I'm not going to respect you when all you do is try to buy me things. You spoiled me near rotten and now I have to get help from outside sources to try to get over it. Of course, if I told you this you would try to guilt me for it, expecting me to become some kind of father figure for you. Mom, you're the adult. I don't ever recall a single instance where I thought I could rely on you for support. You've spoiled your daughter rotten as well. You have handed everything to her, and she has never once listened to your most well founded advice, has no respect for what others need, and is extremely insecure. You need to get help, but it can't be from your children. We are in need of direction and a reality check, not more stuff. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I truly love you as you are. I don't think I'm even really capable of love to be honest. Despite the fact that you think I idolize dad I treat him much the same way that I treat you. The point is, mom, you NEED to help yourself. Stop being such a door mat. Force your children to do something for once. We're obviously not helping you and some distance from us would probably be for your best.

Best regards: Your excuse of a son

Dear Rhonda,

I don't care if you're my contact worker at the clubhouse. I don't like the way that you try to go about helping me. All that you use is logic. I don't do well with logic. I do better with empathy, than I do with logic. I really don't understand the whole logical thing. I had to go to Jennifer and talk to her about the flashbacks that I was having, because I knew that she would listen and put herself in my shoes. That's called empathy. Since you're so hell bent on using logic on me, you can take your logic and shove it up your arse hole.

You know who

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgwoPG63B3Y[/youtube]

Dear Know It All,

What do I know? I only have AS. You obviously know everything there needs to be known about Asperger's Syndrome and I need to only listen to you. Obviously, you are the authority on parenting aspie children. There's absolutely nothing that I could say that would benefit your experience so there's no reason for you to listen to me. You should feel free to dismiss anything I do gather up the nerve to say because I wouldn't know what I'm talking about. Even though I have read all the same information and spoken with all of the same professionals (more actually, but never mind) my understanding could not possibly be the same as your understanding. You are the expert, perfect mother who is long-suffering for her aspie child. I would never understand what you go through, even though I have a child with Asperger's Syndrome. Your experience will always be superior and more dramatic and demanding than mine. The world does revolve around you and this is all about how your life has changed.

Gosh, I just really don't understand how much you've sacrificed and how things will never be the same for you. That tearful explanation of finding out that your child has Asperger's Syndrome really broke my heart, too. I wish I was that devastated over my son's diagnosis so I could understand your pain. What do you go through? A doctor appointment every three months? I know I go through more, having Aspergers myself and all, but I can only imagine how much of a strain that must be for you. I just don't have that kind of stress. How do you survive?

I sure wish there was something I could offer you. My years of being an aspie child, an aspie teenager and then an aspie adult wouldn't help you at all. Knowing how to relate to my aspie child as a parent definitely wouldn't be useful for you. You already know everything and have decided that your life has a determined level of difficulty simply because your child has a disorder. I won't mess with this shtick you got going. You might actually convince somebody that you're a martyr. Good luck with that.

Sincerely,

the We Function Mom