scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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what the hell is wrong with me....my last post is a good example of why I wish my brain would just shut up, most of that's a bunch of rubbish that all started with the thought 'oh crap drama...that must mean (insert any number of horrible outcomes).'

I'm also feeling like crap with a stupid cold. I don't understand why everyone is sick now that the weather is so warm.

^^I'd rather it be cooler. Here it seem as if it went straight from winter to summer. Ugh.

-7
Tired, hot, bored but not really feeling like doing much anyway. At least I'm feeling better than I was the other night. Still waiting to hear back from walmart about my application but I'm not really expecting anything. May as well start doing my research on doing something about SSI or disability or whatever, though I don't know how my parents would feel about me doing that.

Right now I am at an 8 out of 10 since have some extra time to study for my online classes.

-5 I've come to the conclusion I have to learn to be more assertive even if it pisses people off, because I am sick of worrying about what everyone thinks. I am sick of trying to pretend like I'm ok when I'm around my family.......I should be more open about the fact I've got issues and I'm really pissed off about the ptsd. I try so hard not to disturb them..........but I'm sick of how they brush things under the rug and try to ignore all the problems.

I guess what I am trying to say is I have a problem with my family, they've been pissing me off for years...but I don't exactly want to confront them because it will just cause drama.

-8
Going to spend the next few days tidying up my things and getting rid of anything compromising that people could find.

-10

if someone threatened to kill me right now id say yes please because i am so f*****g clumsy id fail if i tried it myself. I suck that much

so many people in the negatives. me too, i guess -2

edit: make that -10. i'm such a moron, i can never do things right. i always rush into things, make panicked decisions and end up looking like a complete idiot. no wonder people think i'm ret*d. i'm bright but i have absolutely no common sense.

Still -7ish.
Trying to focus more on finding a job, since it's been two years or so of pretty much doing absolutely nothing(aside from an interview or two that seemed to go relatively well but, obviously, I didn't get hired). May as well volunteer at the soup kitchen while trying to think more outside the box. Maybe do what I can with my art or try to make some computer games and distribute most for free, and later on some for cheap. Friends seem to think I could become one of those youtube people who commentate while playing games, and that does sound fun, but I doubt I'd ever become that recognized, and even then that wouldn't be reliable.

-1 simply hoping that my adventures in terms of job searching shall pay off..

-2

Some trouble breathing, bit dizzy, nothing interesting happening.

-2 I hate it so freaking much when people sit there like they want something, but wont say what the hell they want(like they think I can't tell that's what they're doing).....it gets to the point where I cannot focus on anything else other then someone sitting there like they want something. What should I say to this....'hey man, get out of my head and just tell me what you want?' or would that be confusing to people? seriously I get so annoyed people I'm around sometimes.

0. I'm feeling a little under the weather. I've been feeling like this since the time change.

0.

-10 and hoping my suicide attempt will succeed.

I saw your other post about feeling lonely. If that's you in your avatar, you're a good looking guy, i'm sure if you're patient, someone will come along. There are other things in life besides having a companion and there are other things to look forward to. your interests and hobbies, your work, your family, your pets. I have to make due with these things, since i'm too ugly to find a gf. but i'm sure you don't have to find yourself in that position.