scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Oh dear I'm sorry to hear things are so awful for you.



I wish there was something we could do to help.

-10....., what the hell how's therapy going to help me when therapy either scares me or has no effect in general. Yeah maybe I could have 'recovered' if wasn't for mr. psycho with the gun in my school. Cause at that time I was in the process of trying to recover from depression, anxiety and my suicide attempt and move on, a**hole!....well that kinda got in the way of that now didn't it.

so so far I didn't find the PTSD forum on psych central very helpful

2. I'm sick right now, but my sensitivities have mellowed out so I dont care.

-5, uh oh getting kinda pissed of and edgy....so time for some metal music and cleaning, maybe if I can re-direct the energy this time it will help.

-7

-10
I hate everything

-4. I ache all over for no reason.

5 and I am on the optimistic side usually so 5 is low for me. Started with a bad morning today and then by 11:30 am it improved greatly with a call from a nice friend and then the afternoon was not too bad.

+2...hmm even hell can be a bit more bearable with family, and by that I don't mean everyone I'm related to because to be honest I can't consider them all family as I've never even met everyone in my blood related family and am not very connected with a lot of them. But I mean the people I'm close to who are there for me as I'm there for them regardless of if they are actually related to me or not.

its enough for me to convince myself not to act on any of the suicidal thoughts I have, as bad as it gets...at least for now. I just hope they don't screw me like all the bricks in the wall before.

A good friend can really seem like family and a few years ago my best friend felt like a sister more than my actual sister since my real sister is quite a bit younger than me.

I feel really suicidal.

-2

I was up late last night at the ER because my dad had a kidney stone attack completely out of the blue. Neither he nor I had ever had one before and I was so scared seeing him in such agonizing pain that I was on the verge of breaking down mentally myself. I seriously thought he was going to die or something. They got him hooked up to an IV with intravenous fluids and tried various pain and nausea medications, but he was still having terrible bouts of pain and dry heaves every 20 minutes or so. He didn't pass out from the pain but at one point his heart rate got really low for some odd reason and they were concerned.

I'm so relieved it's not something serious or life-threatening but damn! And people believe a loving God exists. What kind of sadistic deity would invent kidney stones? Seriously. It's not something you'd ever want to wish on even your worst enemy.

I'm just hoping it passes soon so he can get a break from the pain. They just gave him a bunch of vicodin (like that's strong enough to do much of anything for 10/10 scale pain ) and sent us home. My mom is looking after him now.

Last edited by marshall on 05 May 2012, 1:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

A loving God is a false promise, considering the bad things that happen around the world. They've explained to me, though, that humans have 'free will'. I don't even want to imagine what the afterlife must look like, if God has absolute power there. It must be worse - even disregarding free will, plenty of humans are still mauled by other species each day.

I know what that experience felt like. Last Christmas, my mother had some kind of stroke. She couldn't walk anymore, couldn't talk properly for a while, and had to be rushed to hospital by ambulance.
She had to stay for the night, and was prescribed painkillers and something that would hopefully do something to her blood to prevent that from happening again.

Currently, -1. The weather outside is boring and wet, with occasional rain and full cloud cover. I'm feeling a bit bored, a bit hungry, but there isn't really anything I can eat now, as dinner is a bit later.

0, and sometimes I have to wonder who I really am...one likes to think they know them self but I don't even know anymore.

I wasn't being totally serious as I'm not really a believer anyways. I just find it funny how when people remark how amazing and beautiful nature can they leave out the not-so-pleasant bits. Nature can be full of awe, beauty, and wonder, but it can also be pretty damn cruel and us humans are quite frail and vulnerable despite all the advances in science and technology. I can't imagine what it would be like to live back when people had absolutely no knowledge or treatments for diseases.


I'm sorry you had to go through that. A stroke is a bit more serious than a kidney stone. Any kind of sudden-onset violent illness that requires hospitalization is frightening when you're not sure what is going on and they have to go through a bunch of tests before telling you anything.

3.