Aspergers SUCKS.

Post Reply New Topic

TBH I think if I didn't have Aspergers' I would be able to do the things other adults half my age can do - like move away, get a job and drive a car. I have talents, I've been told that I'm talented, but what good are they? They're just going to waste because there I can't get a job where I can actually use them. I can't play chess or do algebra, so I'm not a genius. In fact I'm a complete idiot. I'm a high-school dropout. The bullies made my life hell. But I was too lazy and stupid to at least try to improve my hideous grades. Then I'm put into a group home for people with chronic mental illness. At least ten other people with no privacy and staff constantly ordering me around and just crying is treated as an "outburst". Of course like most female aspies I wasn't diagnosed yet. If I had been I may had never have ad to go through that. Instead I'm kicked out after my diagnosis and put in another home for people with severe brain damage and mother said if she hadn't taken me in after being there for a week I would have suffered a nervous breakdown. Even she was uncomfortable with the way everyone was trying to touch her.

I was put on all kinds of horrible drugs and suffered all kinds of horrible side effects. I feel like my body has deteriorated and prematurely aged, inside and out, as a result. The staff at the hospital and the homes should be sued heavily for making me suffer before I got a proper diagnosis and even after the depression and possible PTSD I experienced afterwards was my fault and I should have just snapped out of it. Bunch of evil karma Houdinis. I wonder if it's too late to sue them. as if I can afford a good lawyer and I know I'll lose anyway. They'll think I'm using Asperger's as an excuse for bad behavior. If I ever have to go to the hospital for a serious illness I know they'll just let me die and make it look like they weren't able to save me, when the real reason is that they think I'm a monster and a sub-human and want me dead. I have no life, and it's all because of my disorder, are you freaking happy now??

I'm a failure at everything, I'm fat and ugly and disgusting and when I die no one will care or even know me and I'll be just tossed into a trash bag and thrown in an unmarked grave. If anyone does know me they'll just say how I wasted my whole life and not have anything positive to say at all.

I completely agree with the OP. Being on the autism spectrum is one of the worst things that can happen to someone and there's nothing good about it.

It's hellish. I wouldn't wish it upon—well, yes I would wish it on my worst enemy. Show that person how it feels to be an outcast nobody likes or gives a chance. I lie in my bed and cry almost every night because everyone else my age has girlfriends or boyfriends and is happy. Relationships are in books, in movies, on TV...you can't go a day without being exposed to a relationship of some sort, and it's just another dagger to my heart whenever I see them. What did I do to be denied the things everyone else takes for granted? Why did I have to be subjected to this crap and be horribly inept at socializing and have sensitivities that cause people to ridicule me? I'm tired of contemplating suicide every single day, and life is just going to get harder from here on out. "Be yourself"? Yeah right. I've tried that for the last nineteen years, and it's gotten me diddily squat. I'm sick of this life.

I agree also, it sucks.

I am a very attractive looking fit guy,
Capable of many human skills considered highly valued such as cooking and general day to day conversation.
Unfortunately the lack of integral human social skills negate all of that.

Not much else i can say, but i guess there are worse off people in the world.

This guy writes to me and it's sad how closely his loneliness mirrors my own. I'm going to be lonely forever and sometimes the pain seems unbearable. I won't kill myself but that's partly for my parents and partly because I want to make something of this life so that the years of misery will be somewhat worth it.

this aspie has come to the conclusion that arthritis sucks worse.

It is a curse. It's a horrible, horrible curse. I've thought about how much better my life would be if I hadn't been born autistic. I'd have a great-paying job if I could manage to pass an interview, and I wouldn't have nearly as much trouble getting a date if I had whatever social skills (plus the job). As it is right now, I'm unemployed and I can't seem to get ahead no matter what I try.

AS dont always sucks, but anxiety and depression always sucks.
And most people suck; dont always assume being NT means you're successful and never suck. Their lives can suck way worse than any aspie.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

i do not think it is worthwhile lamenting something that can not be changed.
complain if you will, but no paraplegic get's better due to others sympathy.
no cancer patient has improved prognosis due to compassion.
there are so many examples, i will leave it at that.

i learned early in my life, i could never fit in, even if i was eagerly invited to a group of friends.
there are very basic rules of being in a group that i could never fulfill. like communal laughing, communal excitement, communal anything really.

but i never made enemies. i just opted out of being part of a group early because i knew i could not fake anything genuinely.

but some people still wanted to know me, and they became my friends privately.

IRL [face to face] I could count the number of friends I had, on the fingers of one hand, with most digits left over. this over several decades in total.

I relate to op especially having those catastrophic thoughts. My mind has spiralled countless times back into the nightmares of being isolated, bullied, humiliated, abandoned, hurt, put on psych meds, taken advantage of by predators and manipulators, even hurt and abandoned by family... And my depression and mental illness seems inescapable... But considering people who had a positive effect on me, and being grateful of having family and others who cares at times but perhaps just don't understand what to do... Well I just need to count my blessings and stop being so negative... And learn to deal with things more constructively.... But being extremely socially isolated and lonely for the most part, and having most of all people in my life not caring and giving up on me, has made me a pretty miserable and guilty feeling person, to where so many times and up until recently, suicide seemed like the best option.. Because I could not take the weight of the guilt I have felt over things.... But I do wanna change things, somehow. It seems very hard.... But I don't wanna waste my life being like this.... I don't wanna waste any more time being bitter and dying, not doing the things I enjoy, or following my heart to find inner peace... I just gotta do it somehow....

^^^ I think you are brave, and you will get a handle on things soon.

Those are normal feelings to have when you're different, regardless of diagnose or illness. The trick is to stop thinking like that.

You know you have to work a little harder than others to succeed, you know that you are stronger than them because of this. Remind yourself of that daily.

It's not true that you don't have any talents, I know that because everyone does regardless of how big or small it is but sometimes you need to find it because it's not obvious. Try learning something otherwise that anyone can learn with practice, such as drawing. You can also learn to play an instrument if you'd want to, anyone can. Give something a try and decide that you're going to become great at it. Don't let any obstacles put you down. Use your anger and frustration as motivators and find a positive outlet for those negative feelings.

Aspergers do not suck, and you aren't your diagnose - remember that. You need to find yourself and who you are, you can do this through therapy or you can do it on your own. Keep a diary, find what makes you happy and what doesn't etc. These are things that even neurotypicals can struggle with, many NTs feel that they have no talents etc. as well so know that you're not alone and that there are ways to improve life. Don't let people put you down. Find other aspies or NTs who will accept you for you and see YOU, not your diagnose because those people exist, i've met them but i've also had to deal with really rude people but you can't let them bring you down. People who treat others poorly have issues themselves, they're not better than you so don't think they are by listening to their s**t and believeing in it.