Rants

Post Reply New Topic

it is quite annoying to me that people can not see that i am in a humerus mood, and they take my "funny" comments to heart.

an example of this happened today when i went to a meeting to discuss my business procedures with another company's manager. the other manager was late, and the woman who was his secretary (i guess) roped me into a conversation, and she did all the talking and i was reasonably entertained by her manner of communication.

but it all came to a "thud" due to her inability to not take personally what i said.

this was the conversation. and i had had a cup off hot coffee so i was slightly hyper energetic(which i do not like to be so i will not try it again)

her: (about a day in her recent honeymoon)...yeah, i couldn't have wished for anything else that would have made the day more perfect.

me: you could have wished for a better brain that would allow you to think of an even better way to have spent your day.

her: sorry what?!?
me: you could have wished for a better brain that would allow you to think of an even better way to have spent your day.

her: why do you have to be such a dickhead?!?

me: i was just joking.

blah blah....(she could not be resurrected) and it was mildly annoying she reacted in the way she did, but it was not sufficient to ruin my day.

I am never going to be straight enough to relate to most other women about sexuality. I feel like something is up with me in that department. I just don't like male genitals that much.

I have lost everything that made me stand out that I could feel good about myself. My intelligence has been made meaningless by my lack of credentials, my singing voice is dissappearing and now my incredibly thick gorgeous hair is falling out. I have lost a lot of it. My hair is just normal thick now and it is still falling out.

I was stupid and left an important assignment to the last minute, I'm sitting here freaking out about how I'm going to get it done. I'm supposed to be submitting my student portfolio in with 20 pages of work I've done this year. This is probably the only time I'd prefer writing a long essay over an assignment because I've to: scan drawings in, drawings are not where I'd like them to be, go into indesign to fix portfolio and I have to pay a professional printer to print it all off. All by tomorrow. If I have to go anywhere, it will take me 30 mins to get to the train station. Today isn't a good day ,

I am so tired of being depressed.

WHY IS THE WORLD SO LOUD?! Also, why the f**k would you paint your nails in a lecture? I am going to die here.

There is a small restaurant nearby my home that my family and I love going to. It is a small family run establishment with home-cooked food. We really like the owners and workers there. We feel like family. But as of recently there are two guys that have begun eating there that are what most people would call obnoxious. They talk nonsense endlessly trying to impress a single younger female that works there. They use a lot of foul language. They irritate me and the other patrons. And a few days ago I learned that another person has begun eating there regularly, a woman that is horribly irritating that I went to school with many years ago. This was like one of the only restaurants that I could truly relax in---until now. Aghhh!

Except for being broken, i have no identity.

Tonight, boyfriends brother argued with my boyfriend for a solid 20 minutes arguing about me, while I sat there and listened to it happen. I've tried to write about it to make myself feel better but the anger doesn't go anyway. Why I am so angry? Boyfriends brother called me a stealing sneak, a child and a mooch. This, over something as trivial as answering a question such as "Did you take my forks?" "No, I didn't. Ask your son" boyfriend's mum asked this question and found it somewhat offensive. Brother called me rude because I was 'backchatting' to which my boyfriend defended me by saying it wasn't. Somehow turns into a huge fight resulting in threats of police being called and threats of being kicked out. I'm confused, so you are threatening to kick me out over a lost fork? Sigh.....

either i am getting too old to perceive the ovoid shape of an egg, or eggs are becoming more and more vertically symmetrical as time goes by.
i think it is the latter case that is true.

i like to cook soft boiled eggs and dip strips of toast in them (buttered with lurpak butter), and the perfect egg experience is to have a slight film of not fully set albumen covering a yolk that is runny at the top and thicker and more dry toward the bottom of the egg.

when i reach the bottom of the yolk where toast is no longer a viable way of extracting the nutrition, i cut a small knob of butter off my small butter plate (that i pre prepare so as to not have to contaminate the original block of butter with further involvement due to repeated access by a dirty utensil), and i insert that knob into the egg, and i wait until it has melted, and then i spoon out the rest of the yolk / butter mixture which is very nice tasting.


i have been able to successfully prepare my eggs and toast at breakfast time since i was about 13. i was satisfied every time i cooked my breakfast and ate it up until about 1 year ago.

today, i was (as i have been on multiple occasions recently) unable to determine the top from the bottom of the eggs i cooked for my breakfast. i cooked 2 eggs, and i incorrectly oriented them both in my eggcups, and when i chopped their heads off, i was met with the dry yolk that is the hallmark of the bottom of the eggs! i was enraged for a short amount of time. i have extreme difficulty in eating eggs back to front.

i will next time check every egg in every carton that is on display before i decide to buy any more eggs.

i will choose the carton that has the most obviously ovoid eggs in it so i am not confronted with the debacle that i endured today.

the universe is headed for rack and ruin if chicken eggs evolve to be symmetrical.

^^
I noticed that you mentioned Lurpak

After decades of wanting to find people like me...and now I know where I fit and why there has been a lifetime of struggles....but what am I supposed to do now and how am I supposed to move on?

I've trained myself to be as socially correct as I can be. To smile and focus on others and always be pleasant despite whatever topic of interest is consuming my thoughts. But its not good enough. I get sexually harassed at work and I politely report it saying please just ask him to not stand on top of me and lean in to whisper in my ear when I'm wearing a v neck sweater. That is all. He obviously doesn't respect me and will not listen to me if I ask him. What othr choice did I hav? Am I not allowed to protect myself? Well this resulted in outrge from many coworkers that I wud do something so horrible as to report him looking down my shirt. That's just one example of my working nightmare....

My job is utter torture at this point, so obviously I've been job searching to get out of that hole. But each day is just so.....being nice and hard working and possessing all of the model employee traits is not good enough...and I worry how will I successfully navigate the next place...is it even possible....?...

I used to think I drifted aimlessly through life, but anymore it feels like everyone else is floating along aimlessly in some unseen current. I'm just a rock jutting out of the stream that gets splashed on occasionally, but is firmly embedded into the earth.

There's an odd juxtaposition I'm feeling lately... which just may be me overanalyzing, but hear me out...

The world is filling demonstrably over with human beings, all wanting to have iPhones and drive the Audi SUVs while others struggle to steal their coveted spot at the top of a seething pile of materialistic, fatalistic selfish consumers, placing their 'birthrite' of these luxuries as the reason for pursuing them. The environment is poisoned with natural gas, oil spills, toxic chemicals with sprawling half-lives, plastic, synthetic hormones... all to short-term solve a human need to live life as it pleases, regardless of the natural damage to balance...

Now knowledge of how much the planet has been changed, is becoming known to more and more people ironically by the very products producing the agents of change -- smartphones and the Web. I feel my generation is the last that will truly know an Earth before the environmental damage reached peak levels, and irreversible damage will become part of following generations' legacies.

As I feel my own life has reached a peak in terms of potential, the world seems like it too. I know this view is susceptible to seeing what one wants to see... but I can't help but think some part of me knows that I live in the fleeting days preceding a great shift in the imbalance of humans vs. nature, and all actions have consequences... no matter how hard you yourself have conducted your own life, it will be affected by the legions of others that see things as 'as long as it won't be my problem in my lifetime, who cares'. It depresses, frightens, and discourages.

These thoughts have weighed on my mind for a very long time, since the 90s, and esp after 9/11 and recently with Katrina and Sandy superstorms. I wish these selfish rich bastards who only say things that benefit their pocketbooks or gain them influence to perpetuate that, would somehow disappear from the earth in a single, vast vacuum of metaphysical providence, so the rest of us who see beyond their own lives, could help repair the damage done.

Life sucks!

...