-10
Had the mother of all melt downs, packed my bags and at around 7 am I walked all the way through the countryside to where the highway started and went all the way to my grandmother's retirement home. I packed a knife for protection. It was only 3.5 miles but I was terrified my parents or sister would drive up to catch me so I frequently ducked into bushes while hearing a car coming. It was almost fun.
I finally arrived at the nursing home and greeted grandma after she finished breakfast. We talked and I told her some things and we played several games of checkers then sat on the porch. She called my parents who apparently were never once aware that I "ran away". No one really cared very much at the house. Mom finally did come to pick me up, since grandmother refused to let me walk back home in the 107 degree weather. I talked angrily with mom and shared a lot of things that have come to fruition in my head, what I thought were paranoid dreams were reality. I cannot share them but the end for me is coming soon. My meds no longer help me, they use to cheer me up and make me happy but now I am still sad and they just make me less violent. Well I didn't take them today and am done.
Truth be told, I will not be posting here much longer I think. My end is coming and I'm finding peace with that. I keep my trusty knife close to me and have blocked up my door. I made several confessions to my mother after informing her of my intuition and am well aware that everyone will turn against me in the end. I came in preaching the truth to my sister, knife in hand, as I stepped into the threshold of our house and managed to scare off both her and the boyfriend. They are gone. For how long I can't say.
I am not going to kill myself, this is no suicide message, but I have seen my death and it is a fact. I will be destroyed but I will fight to the end with my weak, meek body. I may do no harm but I will fight and I will rend and tear all those who try to hurt me. I will be overwhelmed and killed however.
Goodbye everyone.