scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-1.

I'm feeling very confused about everything and insecure. I'm very conscious of the fact that I'm expected to know things automatically that I don't know, and that I'm probably coming off as rude and/or stupid most of the time but don't know how not to. I cringe every time I type or say something because I'm expecting the backlash but still have a compulsion to speak...

+3

-6 on way back up

-4.
because i didn't go to my voluntary placement today, i've upset my mother and also let the woman down who would have been waiting for me to turn up. i thought about myself and noone else.

i don't have the ability to talk today or even fake enthusiasm for anything.

-2 and stuck.
I'd like to keep in touch with people here and maybe make new friends, but it also depresses me when I visit the site. Though, I've managed to get a lot of work done by being away. And I'm ill again.

+4

-4

Just realised this. The following types of men have all been more succesful than me in dating.

* Convicted rapists;
* Convicted serial killers;
* Perpetrators of genocide;
* Violent sect leaders;
* Violent sect members;
* Convicted human traffickers;
* Mentally-retarded men;
* Schizophrenic men;
* AIDS patients;
* Men with several forms of herpes;
* Boys half my age;
* Severely-deformed men

I'll be heading off to a conflict zone, then.

-3 If i could figure it out, I would do so much.

-5 I couldn't follow through with the mental health services....too paranoid and I just don't want to have to keep retelling why I have PTSD........it sucks and I hate talking about it , and the impression I got is I was going to have to do a lot of talking before even getting a proper psychological assessment or whatever.

Also their goal would be to make me a well adjusted member of society.......if that is not what I am after how will that approach even help. And I will have to tell my mom I didn't go and then I get to hear her lecture or be angry that I 'never' follow through with anything at all

- 6

-10

-11 and to top it all off I'm an idiot...so my budget is a little tight right, kind of relying on money my dad can help me out with or if other family members help. Anyways I didn't have an extra 30 dollars laying around to pay for my overdraft protection when I decided to be an idiot and use my debit, instead of my credit card because I got them mixed up.

Well there was nothing on my debit card so there goes 30 dollars I didn't even have oh well the money my dad was giving me will cover it, but that was 30 dollars that could have gone towards going to Iron Maiden now I don't see how I will have any chance of affording it. Its my birthday this month, but it doesn't seem like anyone is too thrilled about that so I wasn't expecting much in the way of gift money or even a celebration and was going to treat myself to Iron Maiden in concert...........well nope gotta use that money to pay for my idiocy.

-2