Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear Smudge,

Hope you're ok.

Cya soon,

Alternative.

To Heather,

Don't let anyone mistreat, abuse, and/or control you. It's never worth it for the sake of being with someone. There'll always be decent people around, and expect decent in the least. I know you're easily led in some ways; don't let it lead to anywhere you don't want to go, and the choices are all yours.

I'll always care about you and your safety.

Daniel

Dear Alternative,

I'm doing OK thanks. See you tomorrow!

smudge.

To Heather,

I know you're gone for good, and I know I said goodbye in my last message to you ("I hope you have a good life" or thereabouts), but I feel that I should make it final to myself. I needn't say anything other than that, as you know it all anyway.

So, goodbye, and on the other side if there is one.

Daniel

(If there's such a thing as an afterlife. I might see her again there when I eventually die. I don't think there is one though.)

(It's just how I say goodbye, nothing else.)

To Heather,

Happy Christmas. I would have sent a card, but you know how I suck with the postal service, so here is the next best thing, as you may possibly read it. I hope it's all going well for you. I'm not expecting you to wish the same to me directly (you know where I am, and it's easy for you to get to me); I'm resigned to the fact that I've been abandoned by you (yes, yes, "abandoned" sounds so dramatic, but it's the closest word I can describe it as. It doesn't automatically denote a lack of care), but I like to think I'd be in your thoughts at least for a moment, and at least positive ones.

I haven't been all that good, but I'm sure you know that. I'll survive though, like I always do (they're just scars after all).

Later, and you know it all.

Daniel

to father,
i've a couple of bones to pick with you. first off you live in another world. i've always thought you delusional and out of touch but hearing some of the things youve said in the last couple of days reminds me of something my comrade said. no dad not everyone has an ipad- not everyone can afford an ipad and no i should not update my technology or i will be useless. i still can not believe you explicitly linked my worth to what i own. and while i do take being called radical and being told i sould like a militant unionist as a compliment(which i know means nothing coming from you. you think the greens are communist after all) i think that your telling me to never join a union and not make trouble for my boss because then i would get better treatment was a disgusting thing to say especially since i am to be a teacher. what disturbed me even more was you statement that there are no union members in your employ. i suspect you have violated the antidiscrimination laws. also my belief that minors should get equal pay is hardly radical.
second thing. im in the attic now and i can hear you talk about me downstairs to your friends. you are still treating my decision to change courses as confusion and a serious error like i havent always hated the one i was doing, like i wanted to do it to begin with, like i havent wanted to be a teacher since forever. i wasted 2 years of my life and getting into the course i want to do will be harder because of you. worse than that i can see you do the same thing to my little sis who will be starting uni next year. she doesnt like buisiness yet you are forcing her into it. she knows you are grooming her to work with you and she doesnt want that at all. her dreams matter more than you being able to pass capital on to us. i saw her pros and cons list for that course. you were in the cons list.
from me.

Dear you,

You're going to regret ever f*ing with me. You're going to fall on your knees and bawl your eyes out.

Sincerely , me.

Dear ~,

I don't like you. As a friend, or anything. I just plain don't like you. Why can't you accept that and find new friends? We have nothing in common, we never will. I don't want to talk to you, regain your trust or hold any type of conversation with you, serious or just bullshitting. I'm not close minded because I won't get into stuff you like, I just don't want to, because a) I hate television, I prefer to be more active and outside and b) I just don't like you, and getting into stuff you like isn't worth my time. Why can't you just accept this? The friendship died ALONG time ago. Why do you keep hanging on? There's been nothing left. You don't understand autism, I don't understand bipolar. I don't even understand your personality. I never will. I don't want to. Please find new friends. You may think I'm an ass, you think I'm close-minded, you think I don't care, I'm not. It's just YOU. I just plain don't like you, I never will again. I can't take you being rude, you lying, you telling me my problems don't matter, you just aren't a friend. Friends understand each other, friends want to help each other. WE DON'T. WE NEVER WILL. GET OVER IT AND LEAVE ME THE f**k ALONE.

Love, 886

Just an addendum to things:

I'll be in the same place in 10 years, but I can't let you back (I'm sure I eventually would have been able to give you what you wanted, but eventually isn't now, and I understand that). Sorry.

Later, and out, for the last time.

Dear ______________,

If you think that I like you, haha, congrats, I’ve succeeded at fooling you. If you see me behaving as though I like you, I’m just pretending. You have taught me that life is just a masquerade, so now; I’m just practicing what you preach. I admit that I’m slow, stupid and bird-brained, but you know what?! You don’t have the right to make my life miserable just because you are so fast that you can multi-task thousands of tasks at once. You don’t have the right to force me into playing mind games with you just because you want to prove to me that you are so clever… at politicking. You once asked me why my general knowledge trumps yours. You have already devoted a large % of your brains to politicking, no wonder your brains don’t have much room left for general knowledge. One more time you boast that you are sooooooooo street-smart, teach me how to be as street-smart as you lah, since you so smart. Don’t you dare roll your eyes at me and purr, “Wahbiangeh, you so stupid eh, zero common sense, how to teach???! !! I can’t teach you something that you are not born with.”

You call me abnormal, you si N-something-something, go si lah, you call me rude and arrogant; I think that you are the truly rude and arrogant ones. You are arrogant because you believe that your so-called “normality” gives you the right to be rude towards me. You wonder why I always seem so angry while you don’t seem angry at all huh, let me explain to you why… You release your anger passive-aggressively through gila behaviors such as huddling together in your cliques to b***h and whine and laugh like hyenas and screech like banshees.

You mind yourselves, huh, mind yourselves. You are best at pushing people off the edge, then shrug your shoulders and manja, “What happened huh? I didn’t do anything leh!” I warn you huh, if you try to push me off the edge again, I’ll push you too so that you can’t manja anymore.

Dear M,

STOP FRIENDING MY FEMALE FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK!! I'm warning them about you, and telling them how much you hurt me.

Please stop driving over an hour to come busk in Fredericksburg. You get more money busking in Alexandria with Elena. Please, please stay away, and let me move on. It hurts so much to see your face and hear people talk about you and what your doing and who you're doing. Just when I think I'm making some progress of moving on, you or your name pops up somewhere. If I meant anything at all to you, do this for me.

L