scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-5. I've had worse - I realize this is a temporary attack caused by my AS's comorbid anxiety and depression. I'm not suicidally depressed, I'm not even considering going away. I just... Can't do it today. I can't person today.

Depression attack caused by an anxiety attack caused by being on vacation with family, without having access to a retreat of any sort. My bedroom here is in the damn kitchen - and people always have their conversations in the kitchen here, including negative comments about me. I hear everything. The only way I can defuse my anxiety attacks is to leave and sit alone in dead silence for hours on end. Too much is happening every day - I've been doing things all day every day with people who insult me for the past week, including being at a party with 30 drunkards.

I knew I should have stayed home.


There's a reason I live alone and have weekly meetings with a case manager. There's a reason our emergency plan only consists of "Do not further provoke".

-5

I had a very stressful day at work. I am not looking forward to working tomorrow.

-9, I want to die today.

6. GPs doubled my dose. Let's see where this'll get me.

6, Looking for work, not finding anything but until I can get started on some anxiety meds that might not be a bad thing. Cleaning up the house before thanksgiving! Hyped up on coffee - contemplating buying pizza for my mom, not sure if she's heading out for an appointment though.

Got started on some collages yesterday!

0. Felt emotionless the past 24 hours. I don't feel good nor bad. If there's anything I should feel happy about recently, it's the fact that I've been over a week without alcohol and I feel no urge to return to it. That's a good thing.

-5
Need minor miracle to fix some house repairs

A 7 for me right now.

4.

-3

Sick of being sick. Thought I was well and everything was fine and I had turned a corner - but no, here we go again...

-3

Just sick of being me.

+1 Called family and talked for a while, and now my head is exhausted. Glad we're staying in
this year.

-5 had about all I can stand of being ignored.

Hello Fabian.

Pudding is a damn good person, that's for sure.

Thanks octobertiger, just reading that cheered me up a bit.

I should be getting that SAD lamp next chance I get to go to my parents' house (to pick it up.)