Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear work,

could you, please, take care of yourself today?


Yours truly,

Me.

Dear you,

Why change "?" to "world"? It makes it less personal!

Dear John (wow, I'm writing a dear john letter, but thats his real name and he's never been a romantic interest)

Number one, f**k you. f**k you and the pitty party cotton pony you rode your fat toothless ass in on. You are your son's biggest handicap. You took a gorgeous young man who had potential and ruined him and turned him into someone that nobody would ever want because thanks to you he can barely wipe his own ass, and he has nothing at all wrong with him!

You also took the easy way out. Sure, it would be difficult to get a job and support yourself (and of course the 20 yo that you think is 12 years old) but you decided to come live with your mother. Now, if you really took care of her, that would be different. But you sleep till 1 or 2 pm and she's own her own for that. Oh, you get up and bring her breakfast and put her on the pot and get her off it, but come on John. Is that the level of care you would want for her if you were paying someone to do it? Even I, and you all hate me so much, but even I, stayed up and out there with her when I was watching her. I listened and blew off all the s**t she would say about me. Aren't you man enough to do that? I'm a skinny little girl and yet I'm man enough to! Wheres your balls John? Oh, thats right, you don't have any!

And believing what Eric and Tabi said about me "in the bathroom smoking crystal meth" please! OK, heres a few facts to explain it. Number one, I've tried it before. I snorted it. I've seen it smoked and I do not have the amount of coordination to chase it with a straw and smoke it, so no. I'd never do it that way. It was horrible for me. It sucked. I hated it. It was worse than weed is to me. Thank you very much but if I want a snortable stimulant, I'll stick to coke.

You just don't want your weed connection to be mad at you, so you go along with them. Well, if I were a differnt sort of person I'd have the cops down on you in a heartbeat. The weed all over the house, and the bongs and pipes all over. f**k you John. f**k you good and hard and up the ass. I hope you end up in jail for your stupid assumptions and I hope I'm the only one who can help you and you come crawling to me. Then I will just smile and say "nope, sorry".

I hate you.

And I hate that spoiled brat Jonathon too.

Jason, Paige and Gayle hate you both too. Jason only puts up with you cause you pay him. You are s**t. None of you are worth anything.

Get a bucket and wash my balls you stupid Motherf***er.

(I may actually send this, I'm keeping a copy and thinking about it)

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Dear sexist trolls who think calling us morons is funny.

I never once thought it was funny saying “stupid women driver.” I’m sick to death of it, and I hate it! Disgust for another person doesn’t deserve such popularity like it’s getting lately. It adds distrust and maybe a little bit more fear to a girl out there who hurt enough in her life time.

I wander what you’d say if you suddenly lived like a girl in certain parts of this world? As a girl you might start working, and never have a day of school in your life. You might get sold by your own father, so your brother can take that money he got from your wedding and waste it on drugs and booze. If you get raped, would you like to be the one blamed for disgracing your family, even though you were the victim? Do your body parts justify a beating for that? Would you like your body parts ironed and burnt because they developed and matured too soon?

You might be forced to marry some 55 year old spouse at the age of eight or twelve, and then die, screaming in vain for help because of his temper tantrums. I wander if you guys calling another gender brainless and pathetic like you do think that your siblings are worth the amount of fear that’s bound to embed itself in your psyche for the rest of your lives, as you’re led out the door, never to see them again?

I wander if your father lied or got paranoid and went around telling everyone that your mom was a “cheating whore”. I wander if and how you watched and said “idiot” to her as she’d get beat up in the street by everyone she knew in her life. Getting abuse from Mom and Dad hurt the most! I wander how glad you are that because someone is the opposite gender they always get paid less than you do. Maybe it’ll feel great getting a big fat retirement, while your woman gets half or two thirds the same amount for hers? Did it matter who kept the kids fed? No. You still got more than she did.

I wander what you’d think if your sexual desires were treated as almost non-existent. Forget how you like to watch women kissing. Lesbians are ‘an abomination’. Some religion told you so! The in charge gender says when it’s lovely to see, and you don’t unless they feel intrigued by it! Your gender gets to be a scanty clad sex lion in some video game, when you want to scanty clad the other. Oops, the designers didn’t bother with that bit, did they, because guess whose sexual taste buds matter first? THEY don’t like it. THEY don’t see it. They like it a certain way, they’ll say that you like it the same way they do. (Sorry. I had to get that paragraph off my chest a little.)

It’s realistically the other way around. But that’s not what homosexuals are there for. They simply exist like the rest of us, and that’s how it is. Just like most of everyone else’s’ life isn’t all sex, sex, sex. They like each other sexual sure, but their entire lives aren't based around it. They went to school, some to church, and had development much like you peers. That brings me to another point. The reason that gay men are hated is because angry bigots don’t like men acting like females. EXCUSE ME! That’s just another way of down glancing females. Stimulation is stimulation. It’s not based on who plays what gender, and that’s a FACT! Deal with it. You’d let lesbians kiss? Why can’t you let them to? Oh, because you think your taste matter first, and not everyone else’s. How sad is that? I hope next time you see them, you reflect on why you can’t stand it, and then work on it with YOU.

Anyhow, why can’t you haters think about everything a girl goes through, then think about how funny it ISN’T to say in front of her “vagina=stupid” all the time. Ever have a mechanic never listen to a word you said because of your body parts? If so, welcome to our world. For computers, cars, plumbing, and house hold machinery too many douche bags instantly think “stupid female”, and never listen to a word we say! There are some things that I cannot do by myself. That doesn’t mean I know nothing about it! My sister’s car leaked coolant all over the school parking lot after she told them exactly what was wrong with it, that they never bothered to look at, until it was ruined, and her money was wasted. Why? Because she was a girl! I’m SICK of ‘girl=moron’ garbage! I’m sick of you dam trolls! You should have all stayed in the past, and left of the real gentlemen to us.

Those days where you could put your wife into a device that locked her head and wrists into one crouched position, and just because you didn’t get your afternoon tea how flavored you wanted it. Then after people spit on her, and she starved for days to weeks, she carefully tries not to do that again so you can get mad about something else. Why let a gal vote? She wasn’t “intelligent” enough to vote, remember? See? Another thing about the past you’d be proud of. If you lost your job back then, poor you and the kids. It’s not like she was allowed to work for a while, so you could spend times with the children and help out at home. Oh, but I’m sure some fellows knew and wanted the benefit of that back then. That stay at home fatherhood you stupidly hate so much, men out there would love to get, I’m sure. Oh wait, you have to poo poo it for everybody. I forgot. Gee.

There. I feel better now.

Dear Smudge,

Change of heart as others were concerned,

From,

Alternative.

Dear 9ta

This will be a long, long letter and I'm not expecting any replies. I hope I don't get one. I can't imagine any of you on here any way. But I guess, it's easier to write like that, knowing that you'll never see what I've written. Knowing that probably nobody who reads this will know who I am, or who anyone in this letter is.

I really don't know where to start now. Maybe I'll start with S, because of things that have happened to do with him. Now for some reason I find it hard to hate, but if I could, I'd hate S the most. I know that. But really I've almost forgotten everything that's happened - the biology homework where he changed my password, and the way he used to always put me on the spot in German. One thing I will always remember, though, is two years ago in History. "I'm not working with that thing," he said, as if I couldn't hear him. "It." That's what you always used to call me. Or "spot."

Sometimes I hate that I can't hate. So, S, know that I have no grudge against you despite what you've done. You are forgiven... but only if you want to be. As soon as you stop, it's over and done.

A and H - I think you two will know who you are. You have been there from the very beginning, from back in year 7. When this letter would have been written to 7ta rather than 9ta. You've been there for me, a shoulder to cry on. I've felt guilty, sometimes, about coming to you, thinking I was wasting your time. I've been afraid of what you'll think of me, if you'll see me as pathetic like my "friend" used to say I was. But now I have nothing left but thanks for you two. You probably have no idea what you've done for me.

Of course there are others as well. Recently GM has been there for me, I'd say even more than you two. She deserves those thanks too, as much as you two do. Also KE, KB and J - you three, especially KB and J, probably have no idea how much I depend on you. But you have been there. Thank you, all five of you, so much. I can't even begin to explain.

Also for the other girls in my class - GM has mentioned that you have all talked to S about what he was doing. I don't know if it was more of you than others, or if it was more or less equal. I don't know which of you spoke and if any of you didn't. But thank you anyway.

And for the boys...why do you hate me so much? Have I ever done anything to you? You hate sitting next to me in class. I may be an aspie but I can tell, by the words you say that I overhear, that you would sit next to anyone but me. In History especially I have noticed this, with the boy I sit next to then. In English with Mrs B, in German last term when I had to sit next to S. There is nothing I have done that I think explains this behaviour - or is it just because of who I am, how I act, and because I am "infected", as you call it.

Although you don't exactly fit into 9ta, to my teachers. Mr G, I'm trying, and I'm making the effort, but you never seem to think I am. You gave me a 4 for classwork in the last report - why? What was I doing wrong? Miss W, I'm going to have to thank you, suck-uppish as it seems. Thank you for seeing. Thank you for telling me "there's nothing wrong with you" and supporting me. Miss S, thank you for something you never realised you did - giving me that opportunity. You saw it as completely different to what it was, but that day I stood up in English, walked and talked... it was my way of saying to S that his reign was over. Finally, Mr. W - yeah, S changed my password, stopped me doing my homework (which, I think you'll have noticed, I never do anyway) but by the time I spoke to you at lunchtime he was already completely forgiven. I had English first just before lunch that day.

Mr. P, you are an awesome year leader and a great footie coach, and you're probably right about me giving you more grey hairs than your little girl. However, footie and homework isn't all that matters. And in football, I know that you think it's winning that matters, but I disagree. It's the game that matters. It's how you play. The same is true for life in general, too.

Finally, this part is for nobody in particular (unless of course you know who I'm talking to). You ever have one of those days when you look in the mirror and think, everything could be so different? I had one yesterday, when I got home from school. I looked at myself and I thought... that note means nothing now. And it doesn't, not to me anymore. I feel like everything's changed when nothing has.

Don't look at me like I'm crazy, like I'm suicidal. Yeah, I tried that once, years ago, not long before I first went to Germany. It was something I promised I'd never do again, something I'll regret for as long as I live. Now I know why suicide is a seven letter lie, a reality that shouldn't be. I'm not crazy either. I may have moments of desperation, moments of depression, but I can be okay. I will be okay.

I'm not crazy. Don't treat me like I am.

If you've ever done anything to me, said anything to me that you shouldn't have, I forgive you.

- RACHEL

the s**t you put us through is unfair

Dear jawbrodt,

It has been a long long long time since I last chatted with you. In fact I feel so bad because all I can remember is your username and not your real one. I'm sorry this world was too hard for you to live in. I wish I had been more responsive and less obsessed with my own self. If you didn't know, I was dealing with issues much similar to yours. It wasn't easy and I should've used my personal experiences to help support or at least correspond to yours. I'm sorry I never replied to your last messages. There was one in which you thought I was mad... I wasn't and I'm sorry I never replied. I was too consumed with my own "problems" that I didn't at least realize maybe someone out there was like myself. I knew we both struggled with substance abuse but I didn't realize yours was just as bad as mine as well some other issues which I've finally realized were akin to my own. I'm not sure if I would have been much help but I do wish I had taken the chance to at least be supportive or try. Your stories were eerily like mine that I never gave myself the chance to let you know and how I overcome some of those obstacles even if they weren't much of help.


I'm so sorry your mom died. I think you should've recieved that SSI. I told you those people are cold and care nothing about disablities. They aren't looking for people with disabilities only those who can do loopholes. Think about it, a person mentally challenged who is doing all this paper work without any help? Those of us with real disabilities have trouble with the system in which only the very smart and supported or partially taken care. The same leaches that probably make money off the side.


What makes me sad is you can no longer read this message. Perhaps you are a good example of what I should help...if you want that help. Other than that, I cannot help your addiction. You had to do that on your own. We addictive people have no cure. The best we can do is be totally abstinent which isn't imo easy without a support group. I'm sorry I didn't know until it was too late thanks to kittenwithawhip.

Take care and I will always be your friend even after your departure.


Alice

Dear Smudge,

All I said was that I was in a bad mood, and a few were concerned,

I could split even more hairs about addressing these poxy letters, but nevermind. .

From,

Alternative.

Dear Alternative,

The dates underneath your nickname makes it appear like you lived to be about six years old, and died. Please change it, it looks strange.

smudge.

Dear Smudge,

It was to do with how long I've been on these forums, and that I was thinking of quitting here.

But for you, I will change it.

Alternative.

J.

i cant believe how someone can treat you so awfully, day in - day out when i know exactly how wonderful and sweet and caring and compassionate you are inside, and on the outside too.

i've kept every lovely thing you've written for me. they're so helpful on the days you're not here, or the times you're asleep and i'm not.
i can memorise some of it, but if i forget i go back and read them and they help to give me strength.

maybe i will write this to you, because i've said it 100 times before, but i still don't really think you believe me somedays, which is fair enough because some times, if i'm having a bad day or a bad memory i do take it out on you. only because i think you'll understand it's so so very unfair, and i am working on it.

you're worth so much, much more than they think you are. all of them are wrong, it's so much easier to treat you like s**t, because you have no option but to take it, because, for the moment, you need them. you do. and it's so painful to see and watch every day. especially when you think you need to hide it from me. you never have yo hide your true self from me. not even if it's awful to behold.

Em. x

Dear certain person, if you really knew all the answers to my social scenarios well then, that would make me dead(non-existent) or dim-witted.Well, I'm not as stupid as you seem to think nor am I'm reached the stage of inanimatedness. So, keep your own thoughts to yoruself cause. believe me I've had my own thoughts regarding you or other people whom wish to go around putting themselves on pedestals..


Signed,
ProfessorX

Dear Assorted Relatives,

I'm still overcome by rage sometimes when I think about the things y'all did (or didn't do).

I've tried to excuse it. Daddy had AS, I have it too. We are hard to like, we Aspies. Hard to know how to take, hard to give a s**t about.

That doesn't make it OK. Any of it. All the s**t you did (or didn't do)-- those are things that human beings aren't supposed to do (or, conversely, should do) to (or for) others on general principles.

We weren't asking for special treatment. We were asking for EQUAL treatment.

I don't think it's just my AS. I think anybody would be PISSED THE f**k OFF. I think the only reason I'm STILL pissed the f**k off is that I'm too "polite" and "respectful" (read: chickenshit) to say that to your face.

I'm not out for revenge. You are still human beings. You have your own failings.

Just know that y'all are not so f*****g great either.

Love,

Al's Little f**k-up