scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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somewhere between 1.5 and -4 for now anyway but things could alway get better.

-5 ready to shutdown

+2 eh, maybe throngs really aren't that bad and the uppers are really kicking in.

+2 because I am not at work. In 2 hours I will be in that sinkhole and -6.

+7 and enjoying it while it lasts, the comedown from this has to be massive though. large even.

-1, people depress me sometimes...on a page I subscribe to for typically cannabis related news it had an article about a drug that was FDA approved to be given to people who know someone struggling with herion addiction to save their life if they overdose. lots of people were all like 'let the junkies die..bla bla bla' and it just disgusted me they are people to and plenty of addicts get clean they don't deserve to die because they made a mistake and got addicted to a horrible drug if it can be helped. So yeah I commented on some comments about that article because it pissed me off. I don't even know anyone who has been addicted to that its just the principle of the thing that offends me.

People really can disgust me at times.

+7 I don't know what is up. I am never this stable or content or constantly happy. Nothing has changed in my life though. Odd.

-2. Just don't feel lovable.

-3 Hanging in there wondering if I will ever really like someone again and have it go somewhere.

-7.

Busy week from Hell. Overstimulated and all socialized out and still have a headache from yesterday, and tomorrow is the busiest day of the week.

Grandma in the terminal stages of dementia. Hospice is supposed to help, instead they're giving my aunt the run-around and then berating her for not being perfect. At the same time, they refuse to get Grandma (who can no longer sit upright, let alone feed herself or toilet) into a nursing home and threatened my aunt with the cops for having her 17-year-old nephew help out. She is supposed to "get out in the community and hire someone." She doesn't have time to SHOWER. How is she supposed to "get out in the community?"

Some kid on the other side of Pittsburgh went nuts and stabbed 20 people this morning. Here comes the usual media storm. So much for leaving the house for a while-- you can't talk too much and be safe, and you can't be too quiet and be safe either. Best to just not go anywhere, ever. Shame-- the weather is lovely.

-2, the anti-depressant i am taking just feels like a rather strong stimulant and is causing teeth grinding/or increased anxiety contributing to that....I don't know. Had an ok past couple days, today was a bit stressful and my mom got all weird/mad because I wasn't making eye contact which could be the stupid anti-depressant. I did have a couple beers but don't see how that would make my usual eye contact with her seem weird didn't know I really made much to begin with I can at times but it fluctuates. And had to listen to her and her boyfriend argue for a bit before I turned on music to drown it out...just hope she doesn't accuse me of drinking way too much or whatever.

Also sort of dissapointed I could not go somewhere with people, but then again I am tired so it probably is better I had to go home.

0 feeling rundown

-1

1.5, as dropped to 15mg prednisone and feeling quite a bit more in control and better, and not having a beer last night helped.

-5 down in the dumps stressed out like crazy cause of exams on may 12th for me and school and still not being able to finish a simple task on my 75 vw beetle that i just want running, but what makes that worse is im a powerplant(engine) certified mechanic with the FAA here in the US. oh well..

+7

I struggled to sleep all last night waking up and looking at my phones clock wondering if I had actually fallen asleep yet a few times, It felt like I was waking up again every 30-90 minutes, tossing and turning and feeling like my legs were sweaty but I don't know why as it wasn't even that hot....

I woke up nice and earlier opened the curtains to see a glorious sunny day outside with lovely clear blue skies as far as the eye can see, which in the north east of England is a pretty rare sight lol...
Today is a bike riding day

I think I'll watch the new Vikings episode whilst waiting for Mr postman, once he has been off on my bike along the river I will go spending 2-3 hours enjoying the great out doors and hopefully catching the sun a bit.

I haven't felt this good in months