scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-5

-9

I don't like that I am unable to convey my emotions because I don't always know what to say, and I am tired of feeling stressed because of my inability to do so.

0

Though I have received a direct confession in the mail from the teacher who abused me, it appears that there is no legal recourse due to the statute of limitations. Not even with new, prima facia evidence. There ought to be a law against that.

2 or 3

-3 I have a female aspie friend who actually is nice to me, and we hang out. She could loose weight, but so could I. Weight is easier to deal with than conflicting personalities at least. She is a different person from the friend from orchestra and different from the no-longer a friend from a different orchestra.

+3 doing pretty well, despite a few passive-aggressive tendencies.

0
I am all right, despite being exhausted. But there is something coming up I have to do that makes me fearful. But I've got to find a bit of courage, and then use it properly.

...

-7 Can't figure out a good way to kill myself, why does it have to be so hard?

-6

-3. I can't figure why my mother hasn't come to see me and gram for over two months. It's driving me crazy. Ugh.

-4.

Met some sh***y as*holes online which pissed me off.

0. I feel numb and like a zombie. I was up all night with no sleep (except an hr nap I took earlier). I just feel weird.

-7 whats the point of living this world sucks. might be better to nuke ourselves and let whatever survives make a new attempt at life.

5 - Meh

-5, glad I am tired I guess....so I don't have the energy to attempt any of those thoughts on my mind, for some reason all the sudden I've gotten a rather strong urge to just end it while I have the chance, before life gets worse, but too tired to do anything with that aside from sleep it off......hopefully. I mean I've been having a bit of suicidal ideation, but an actual urge is a bit concerning but maybe I am just obsessing because I am tired but my mind is still trying to remain entirely active or something.