scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-3 Not really doing that hot. A psychiatrist prescribed me something that could help through the evenings, but I have to get it approved though the insurance first.

Also, primary care physician prescribed exercise, might help with the depression and the 60 pounds I have gained in less than a year.

I can't change the past, but I can change how I behave in the future.

Too much stress so more suicidal thoughts....clearly its the most wonderful way to react to stress and being overwhelmed. Today wasn't particularly stressful well...at least not after I left my moms house due to her and her boyfriend arguing again and making me feel all edgy and causing negative vibes around the house and hung out with my brother and friends of ours. Then we stopped in the grocery store on the way to our friends house and I felt dumb the whole time since it seems like I cannot even grocery shop for a couple pizzas, some soda and chips without getting hopelessly confused and taking longer than one would think is humanly possible deciding on what to grab.

+1. Since I can't seem to casually drink only one or two beers without drinking more, I think it's time to not drink at all for some time. It won't be easy though.

-3

+3 Learned about forgiveness in group today. Its not about forgetting, but more about freeing myself from the anger I am feeling. Nor does it mean reconciling, just letting go of the anger I am feeling towards someone and wishing them the best. I hope everything is all right with her. I wonder if she is happy or not. What has been going on in her life?

edit: And I shouldn't forget to remind myself of what I have done to make others angry, and what I can do to make that better.

7.5 out of 10 on a planning on letting go this Halloween in stead of killing myself scale.

+1, rather stoned and not contemplating suicide.

-5, terrible. Too much stuff going on at work and I can barely sleep the last few days.

-8
someone just managed to compliment me into hell

mmmm chamomille tea, marijuana and the valium(that hasn't entirely worn off) I took earlier when I had a sudden PTSD 'OMG I'm going to f****ing die' feelings out of the blue...I imagine its the feeling someone gets when someone puts a gun to their head and they know they're f***d. So nice and mellow now.

+5. I am OK.

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

0, ok....my brother found a job which he is happy about since now he can start making money, probably move out of our moms place and well get going with life...so happy for him. Still over-all depressed and gloomy and all that though.

-1 gazillion times a thousand

I am almost moved in to my new home with my fiancé, but now I have to spend one more week without him because we live separately. He assured me everything will be okay, promising to call me every night until we move in, and even visiting for one day this week. Still, the thought of being alone makes me miserable, and I still couldn't stop crying as of this writing.

Same as before. I am happy with everything.......

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

-10. Just very nauseous about everything. Ugh.

0ish, for the first time in awhile. This may change within seconds or minutes (rapid cycling moods are lame)

Tired...long day today sort of, or at least exhausting...