Rants

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Biggest waste of my time ever! I went to the fairgrounds in North Ridgeville with my mom, and I thought it would be fun. Turned out it sucked, because I suck at making split decisions, and my mom kept pressuring me to make a decision. To add insult to injury, a little girl flung a balloon in my face, which pi**ed me off even more. I only spent $4 total (on food) and never got a decent souvenir from the fairgrounds; all I got was a plastic bag filled with f***ing brochures, which I have no use for! I am tired of my inability to make split decisions, it f***ing sucks, it sucking f***s, and I can't take anymore of it!

Invisibility.
Why am I invisible at times I don't want to be, yet I am not when I want to be.
Or just to be selective to whom I am invisible to.

I feel like I am losing my mind to friendlessness.
But I feed that self-sabotaging machine like clock-work.
I have no support system to talk these kind of things out.
Counseling once a week doesn't cut it.
I wish I had someone to do something fun and adventurous with.
I want to get away.
But I can't run from myself, the one whom will always create misery.
I wish the people in the world could be changed. Or obliterated.
I wish all of us who wish for change could get the courage up to do it.
Or is it the wish to change myself inside to be a happier being, but
I am not happy. How can everyone pretend there's NOT all this stuff going
on and try to live a life acting like nothing matters?
Who cares about clothing and cars and TV?
Who cares about money! Down with capitalism!
What about saving the environment, feeding the starving,
and bringing down corrupt tyrants to bring balance back to
its people?! What the hell is wrong with all of you?
Why are you even here? Just another parasite.
Go back to your games, your ignorant ways, your TV.
What really matters?
Yet it is difficult to take steps alone.
The endless vicious cycle of self hatred and disgust towards humankind.

[edit double post due to forum error, to emphasize the failure of humankind too rawr can't even program properly]

Why do I even exist? Am I an accident created by God? Because I have the feeling that I no longer fit in with my family. I am constantly being bullied by my brother, and his girlfriend does nothing to help me. The last time I spoke to my mother before her trip to the hospital was an argument over a phone charger. I feel so stupid, it feels like it's all my fault that she's hospitalized! The only people who even understand me anymore are my friends, coworkers, and my boyfriend.

Rabbits are the dumbest creatures. Why would ANYONE consider one as a pet? It has no redeeming qualities to it other than being "cute" and once that wears off, it's just a fuzzy sh** machine that chews through cords and creates more of a mess than conventional pets like cats and dogs. I wish I could manifest a stoat to rid me of this stupid animal. @_@

http://thebulletin.org/action-flicks-exploit-bomb
This article really gets on my nerves, and it's sticking to me even when I attempt to ignore and forget it, the shallow-mindedness of the author, the snarky douchebag who commented on it, their outdated views on films, jjust their whole attitude and condescendnce and such that makes me want to hit them both with a sledgehammer.

OMG it is sooo good to have a rant place!

My rant: my calendar clearly said black bin day but when I looked outside there were green and blue bins outside everyone else's house. How is this possible. It's still making me feel upset. Obviously I cannot tell anyone in my life about this because they would think I am insane for getting upset over something like this.
grrrrrrr

rage rage rage

Since anything goes here, I am going to complain about the fact that there is now a monochrome picture of Alex at the bottom of every page here, a picture that is not at all flattering to say the least. Its presence reminds me of a line from a famous novel; 'Big Brother is Watching You', or, in this case, Big Alex. It just looks awful, and I have to say that it gives me the impression that someone is staring at me, which is really creepy, as I hate being stared at.

I don't like people that think I'm geeky for my interests.

so tired

too tired to even rant

The last 24 hrs have been utter crap. I woke up from much too little sleep yesterday w/ major sinus junk. I found out from my sister that my mom was snooping in my skype account and idkwhat she read or what her motivations were and I can't confront her cuz she'll rip me to shreds.

I finally got sleepy this morning, my insomnia has been very bad and a freaking fly kept crawling on me. First my arm, then my hair, then my face!! I put a pillow over my head and it came in the air hole to rest on my upper lip. It was acting like it wanted to go up my nose or mouth.

I finally gave up on sleep and went into the kitchen to make food and the dog was crying wanting in even tho it's never been inside and know it's not allowed. I didn't show much sympathy for him and my mom seems upset by that and says he's lonely cuz the other dog died. I had no idea.

THE DOG DIED AND NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME!

And my brothers are coming home this afternoon so I will have to deal w/ the stress and noise w/o sleep.

Right now I feel like bashing someone's head in with a blunt instrument. Just so that someone would suffer for everything that's happened and will happen.

Can't get a job, was born a disgusting abomination so nobody will ever love me, can't focus on my uni work, and as if there's anyone who wants to really help. Nothing's working and the uni seem to reschedule things so I can't attend counselling. I want them to suffer too. They insulted me, they talk down to me, nobody talks down to me anymore, I promised never to let anyone ever again.

Nobody has to answer for anything. As long as they can find a way to protect themselves from the law, they can do as they please, and anyone who brings them to justice will be seen as the criminal. It's all messed up.

Insomnia. Somethings are better off not knowing, others I'd rather know. Honesty is a virtue.

I wish people would just think I am an alright person instead of having ISSUES (problems) with me. Just my breathing and I affront people. Why does it have to be that way?