scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-10

I am tired of living the life of a 3-year-old trapped in a 27-year-old's body. I hate myself for having all these meltdowns that I later regret. Why did God make me this way? I'm not even a planned pregnancy, because I was conceived about two weeks before my brother's first birthday. And when God brought me into His world, I am more than certain He dropped me on my head, causing this cursed Asperger's. I regret all the meltdowns that I had because they cause me to become less likeable by everyone, even my Aspie husband. I don't know why he still wants to be with me in spite of all this. If I could go back in time to stop myself from blowing up, I could, but I can't. Life really sucks sometimes.

-1

0. back pain

+2

+2 Tomorrow is the start of a long weekend.

-1

Sometimes I think "I have friends". Sometimes I am wrong.
Sometimes I have no one to blame but myself for it.
I can't tell people who just want a piece of me, from those that really care, and it makes me so mad at myself.

Dear Fern, I'm not sure if you'll see this or not yet I too have found myself in the same mental scenario as you. In fact, I wished I would have known in past times who were friend and who was a vampire as such .

-4

tired

Thank you kazanscube. I'm touched that you'd reach out to me like that. It makes me feel less alone. I hope that you also find comfort. ^^[/quote

I do my best fern to find whatever serenity or comfort there is for me in life.Your most welcome regarding the emotional contest response posted unto you. +1

Lupus symptoms acting up. Headache. Got up at 4:30am. There is a nap in my future. Thank God I'm retired!

+1 as long as, I'm not radiated by tons of cosmic beams..

-3 abandonment issues rearing their head. Part of me wants to plead and cry and curse the world, but at least it's not all of me I guess...

1+
Because it's warmer.
But then, I still can't go out without wearing any boots.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Honestly pretty low at 2-ish. Only because of frustrations about not doing new job as well as I would like and otherwise doing ok.