scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-4

This depression is killing me, I haven't rose above 0 for at least two months.

+1

+4

I'm fine

3, I have a headache and thinking about how I've acted last year is making feel like s**t.

^ Huh if that's a 3 for you, then I'm a 7.

-4

two.

+3

-7 feel so strange and bad but not as much as the worst ever time I felt this way.

-9

I didn't get a job at PetSmart. Being unemployed sucks a**. No one will hire me at this point because I have been unemployed for almost a year, and I don't know how much longer my SSI will last. I may as well be robbing a bank.

+5

+1

-3. Lonely and depressed.

-3.

Rewind.

Ok I need to rant and I am picking this spot, if it offends anyone I'll delete it later...

I -10 and would be a -50 if possible, I hate my life. I don't know how to communicate and some how thats my fault. I had a group of Christian friends that knew I was autistic and went good for about a year and I loved them like my brothers and sisters but they stabbed me in the damn back. They accused me of threatening them, I never threatening crap, I never said anything that could be taken in a threatening way and even if they did believe that I had told them I was autistic. Why didn't they explain to me what was threatening to begin with, instead they said nothing and I have no way of knowing what was said to get them all stirred up to begin with.

Ok first off, I am hungover and a little drunk so I don't know if this is making sense, but more about how my life sucks.

Thats not all they did because if it was I can place blame on myself and say maybe I said something wrong and didn't realize but no. They tell me I don't act autistic and that I use autism as an excuse to hurt them.


afdhuizaghlfsdfdghasbvgcfzd

Ok that was my urge to drop F bombs but I am trying hard to keep this PG rated. I mean what the hell? I have a legit document from a hospital that says I have autism, how do one act autistic anyway? Did they expect me to be some drooling imbecile? Anyway so they left and than I made new friends and they stick around for about two weeks and then tell me not to call or text them anymore without telling me what I did wrong.

IF PEOPLE DON'T EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT I DO WRONG HOW CAN I CORRECT THE SITUATION?

Its all a bunch of BS, everything is my fault and every one hates me. Well guess what I hate people too, I tried, damn it all to hell, I am done, I just isolate until I die. I have become a mute this last month and its everyone around me fault. They call themselves damn Christian but they can't tolerate someone with communication problems, I don't want anything to do with a God that has followers like that.

-4