scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-7

-6

Maybe some day I can look and the mirror and see something other then a failure but its not today...

-8 I hate thanksgiving all it does is cause huge fights

-10

I am having horrible anxiety lately at the idea of being arrested again, I have no idea why but it probably has to do with the fact that I have had to interact with police lately. Its giving me a panic attack through cause I did predict being arrested one time but I have had the feel before and it has been unfounded. I guess I just have an anxiety issue and the reasons can be anything.

I wonder if PTSD and anxiety can have the same root cause

PTSD and anxiety are both in the anxiety disorder family.

-6

I feel understood,

f**k

Just f**k.

Is that -10.

I'm such an idiot.

-10

Therapy will never work...

I never has...

As a teen I was too much in my own world to really understand what any of it really meant and as adult who is terrified of people, I can't sit in a therapy session and reason, I can't reason at all with people in the room. Its been impossible to communicate in real life this last year. Everything on my own is scripted because I can't think and process conversations without screwing them up. People are scary

-9 I hate thanksgiving why can't I just be left alone. Now I'm at my grandmas expected to make mash potatoes but family left everything needed for it at home and so they're all mad at me

i hope things improved from there, sly.

-10

Having an alarming number of suicidal thoughts today, I forgot to take my meds this morning and am not on anything so maybe that is why but I would rather not have to be drugged to oblivion to make it through each day

-5. That's it car, you're sleeping in the doghouse! In amongst its grinding noise and squealy brakes I now have damage to the front end after hitting some small animal yesterday. Insurer has already given me a rough quote for $1800 minimum just for the foglight/DRL part alone!! Then I accidentally left the internal door to my garage open for no more than 10 minutes but that was enough for the cats to jump all over the car and potentially scratch it to s**t.

On top of that I have been crushing on someone new, but then I saw him at the supermarket.....with his wife!

Actually, flat out nil. Had such a fight today I am unable to feel anything for now.

-8

Bad flash backs,

I had to deal with humans to pay rent and to keep things moving and I had waves of negativity from all the people that told me I am a horrible person, that I should die, and that I should basically end myself

Breathe...

I am going to go hug a pillow

Hugging pillow worked,

+2

Deep into Arch Linux and curious if I can run Windows 7 on top of Windows Server on top of Linux lol