scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-10

Nothing is enjoyable. Nothing matters.

While I am grateful for the roof over my head and having food to eat from, there's nothing. I feel cold and lifeless. I continue to wrestle these suicidal thoughts, every day bringing my closer and closer to fulfulling those thoughts. I survived pills once, I survived a hanging by my own weight, third time's a charm, I guess.

Now with my relationship gone and with my family nearly non-existent, what's the point? I've no one.

-8

-10? -11? I'm not sure.

Why is it every time I open up about my own damn issues, everything falls apart? It's Every. Time.

-10. I'm ready to let go of everything and live as an empty shell, devoid of all feeling. I can't get hurt anymore. I literally can't, I wouldn't be able to deal with it. I've been hurt too much lately, because of others, because of myself. Anything more and I wouldn't be able to cope.

I continue the bad habit of what I always do when I get mentally overwhelmed- pushing things away because I can't cope, because I'm literally exhausted. I'm trying to fight it. I'm putting what little energy I can into things I care about even though I have no energy left to give.

I'm trying. It's not enough but it's all I've got left.

fthe ucffvkcobifgud

-7

Got locked out of both my Facebook and my computer yesterday. Can't get in with any passwords I've set. Stressed to buggery

-10 emotionally, 0 otherwise. Never really understood emotional pain until I had to cut someone I truly love out of my life because their presence caused me too much anxiety, stress and pain.

-10
So hopefully will get better

-7
Living life as a ghost with no voice,
Living life while drowning in my own silence...

I might be a bit better with my own place to sleep, but it's a matter of time before the record skips back... and skips back... and skips back... etc.

This is about the only venting I'll be doing every so often anyway.

'Least I have a job again.

I wish I knew what I need to be afraid of and what I don't, what's OK and what I need to fix, when I can be myself and when I need to be somebody else and who that person should be.

I wish I wasn't almost 40 and still asking these adolescent questions.

But I guess that's autism.

-5. Been battling body aches and inertia, and I'm just tired of feeling tired.

I don't know. I have no numbers.

I've been swept up in a cold numbness. I feel completely without emotion right now, completely empty.

-5
In recent times, I've been feeling like a shadow of my former self.
There was a time when I would have upheld my highest values of honour and integrity despite the struggle I would have faced, and still summoned the energy to work on my plans and goals.

Yet, a year and a half later of suffering the same struggles... I have cut ties with a close friend of mine whom I missed out on a chance to form a relationship with, and I feel that I have been uninterested in rising up and braving my challenges.
I feel that I have let myself down and betrayed my own sense of honour. I also feel that I have lost my ambition.
I feel that, to counter this state, I might try to 'feed the good wolf', as it were, and consistently try to feed energy towards thinking about the things in my life that are going well and that I am grateful for, and to not feed energy to the things that have been hurting me.

-10 nobody cares anyway so I'm not even gonna bother

P.s THIS SITE SUCKS!! !! !! !! !

Sick of looking at a world where the ability to make people comfy and flatter their egos means more than decency, integrity, kindness, hard work.

My life is great. I'm sick of being terrified of losing it to someone more feminine, and sick of watching my friends suffer.

Humans suck.

-2, but probably because final exams are less than 2 weeks away for me.

After exams, it should hopefully be in the positive.