Rants

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I'm tired of customers bringing their food and drink in the store and leaving their garbage on the shelves. I've had to pick up after such people three times tonight. I'm a firm believer in the "Pack it out" philosophy; Take your own trash back out with you or find a garbage can. You'd think that would be obvious, but noooo..... I don't mind if they ask me where a trash can is, but I seldom get asked. If I had my way I would bar customers from bringing food and drink in the store.

Another rant...! !!

I am so so so so annoyed at my family really really much because they have no idea how hard it is for me to do things in crowded places like go food shopping or simply just walking through the mall. I can't take it anymore!! ! No one gets me and i'm tired of it and I want people to just stop annoying me and to leave me alone in peace.
The other day my cousin had finished reading a book about someone with AS and then he says right infront of me "That boy has a screwed up life"..."What a freak, he doesn't like being touched"..."How can you be afriad of shopping malls"..."What a LOSER".
I felt really angry about this and I have told him that I have AS but he obviously thinks that I am deaf and can't hear what he is saying. I felt like punching his head off his neck. It made me soooo angry and I wanted to just scream at him and say..."Well that is how my life is and your not saying mean things about me, you are being a bully".
My family just ignored it and didn't tell him to stop saying nasty things about this person in the book. It wasn't about the person in the that made me feel mad...it's the fact that my cousin was implying that "people was asperger Syndrome are losers". And now I know thats how he feels about me, that when he looks at me he sees a loser.

I hate my life now and wonder how many others see me as a loser. I think everyone must. I have been fooling myself into thinking I was improving...but now I see that I am the same as I was three years ago, socially isolated, depressed, and shut off. My cousin was laughing at me on the weekend and I now wonder how many more are laughing at me, or want to laugh at me but are hiding it. I am kind of ashamed to be myself now and never want to leave the house as I am obviously not good enough for "normal" society. But I have to leave the house so I will continue to be depressed and ashamed of who I am.
Sometimes I just want to fall asleep and never wake up.

I'm not sure what I want to rant about here. I met up with my RL friend again after nearly a month and saw the new Resident Evil which sucked. So he tells me that he's been going out this girl he's known for a couple years and he's been keeping it low key since his parents are always pissy about things. So I get to hear about all his relationship woes, yay me. So he's compaining about how his girl has these two worlds that she wants seperate, her life with him and her life at school. When she's with him, she dedicates herself to him all the time, in the other world he takes a bit of a back seat and she focuses on her college friends. Now to be honest, I don't see what is so wrong with this but what the f**k do I know? I'd kill to be in his position and all he can do is complain.
*sigh*
and then he has the gall to say that he think she is the "one" for him. *sigh again*
He goes to tell me about his depression off and on the past year and how's he had suicidal thinking that she has kept his together through that.
I think, that's great... yeah, okay. But it really kind of depresses me and pisses me off too.
I'm been like that several times before and I've had no one to help me. I toughed it out. Does that make me the stronger person then? I don't want to hear these complaints, I don't want to hear what a great girlfriend she is. It just makes me jealous and mad. I get pissy at myself and annoyed by him.

Yesterday I had my first (second time around) group meeting, and I tried being social during the breaks and whenever I started talking people just began to walk away and break was only half way through! During the last break I went to the area where everyone goes again and they gathered somewhere else Half the doctors there had the attitude of, "why are you here we already gave you meds and suggested help blah blah blah" so I ended up going home before it ended.. I mean, when I went the time before in my mind they seemed a little more understanding but what do I know? I even told some of the professionals there that I had AS because I thought it would be important for them to know, I didnt say anything about it last time. Only a couple of them even knew what it was, one of them could barely pronounce it correctly.. So rediculous.. I cant go anywhere without people making me miserable that should be enough of a reason to be getting help from them.
And now I have to see relatives tomorrow that I cant stand

I hate it when deranged extremists are able to get attention by making a scene at public places and the media actually helps them in doing this. The other day, two extreme feminists went topless into a public baths for the sole purpose of getting attention to the so called "gender discrimination" in it being ok for men to have only shorts but not women. Of course, government TV here had to give them national air time letting them express their views.

Hello Cheerlessleader. What have you been doing while you were away?
____

As for my rant:

I WISH THAT ECO-NAZIS WOULD QUIT BRAINWASHING CHILDREN!! !! ! Their green propaganda has crossed the line. "An inconvienent truth" does not portray a balanced argument, it is more political than scientific. Yet it is being shown to British schoolchildren.

here is my rant, i have really bad toothache, my teeth are falling apart i have two which are only halves and holes in another two but i cannot go to a dentist, then everybody tells me it is ok they inject you , you cannot feel anything, how do you explain to some one that it has nothing to do with pain it is because, i hate meeting new people, i absolutely hate anyone apart from my girlfriend that close to me, i hate being looked at, i hate lying down with strange people about and above all i hate being touched by a stranger and this stranger is going to ask me to hold my mouth open while the stick their hands in there, no no no no no no. if it was about pain would i not be in more pain now than the dental work why can nts not understand?


anyone got any cures for toothache?
maddie

Define boring.

Boring adj Dull, tedious.
Seriously now, I spend 95% of my time at home, usually on the computer, or doing a bit of housework. I see other people spending time with their friends at the mall, at parties ect. all the time and I thing "that's not fair, Why can't I have that?" and I guess that's why I describe my life as "boring".
p.s. I think I know what the rest of you are thinking, "OMFG I'm having a horrible time at the moment and she's whining about being bored??" right? Well, I'm not whining, just read this post in a monotone voice and you will know I'm not.

Not particularly boring.

I know

Every now I end up coming across some extremely messed up s**t. Like just half an hour ago. I'm not even going to describe it but needless to say it is bothering me a lot right now. I actually feel like stabbing the SOBs who did what I saw. So now I got this image banging around in the back of my head and I feel very agitated and tight in the throat. It pisses me off because it's agitating some of my PTSD issues and I'm trying to do whatever I can to stop thinking about it. If I let myself zone out as I usually do, I start thinking about it.

It wasn't something I was looking for. I was looking for something else and it just came up in one of my searches and I glanced over it. I didn't think it was real at first, but yeah, i was real. And it's stuck in my brain like a parasite. I want a delete command right now.
So I think I'll go play a videogame or something now.

Kill the other side of me please? anyone? XD
It's a b******. Kill it off... I don't wan' it... lol

I like the on-form smooth flowing me that others around me like and one person, I believe, finds attractive in me... but no one could find the other side to me attractive... and it's as if it's my alter ego - both of them are so very common.

That 'other side' of me is the one that kept me from living any kind of decent life in the past... ultimately, it caused me to fail through my childhood years. Now the good side to me is also natural, but it's a late bloomer... I like it so much better though than my low form side... logically lol.

I don't want to risk more goddamn failure in this life because of my alter flippin' side... I want to get rid of it... I want to destroy my horribly low side...

And cherish my high winning form.

My peers in College have no idea what this is like... to have 2 sides to the character - 1 is awesome, the other is a failure...