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scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Tim_Tex
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09 May 2018, 1:22 pm

Taradine wrote:
3, feelin' refreshed after a long sleep full of.....interesting dreams.


What kind of dreams? :P


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goldfish21
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09 May 2018, 1:35 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
9.5 :)

I spotted one of my favourite human's cars in his parents' driveway on my way home & saw the interior light on and realized he had just arrived. So I pulled over, hopped out of my car, and greeted him with a *HUG* like we always do. We had a brief chat but he had been up since 4:30am so needed to head in to sleep for a big morning tmw. As we always do; we parted with a *hug*, too. He's one of the huggiest people on the planet & he knows I <3 him for all that he is to me. It's very few people and moments like that with them that keep me going.


Quoting because I'm still feeling this good for the exact same reason. :)

I truly wish you all could have a friend in your life that makes you feel this way. It reminds me of one of my favourite pieces of local graffiti on an overpass column in the Marpole area of Vancouver.. all it says is "Love is the meaning of life."

I've only had the chance to see him once or twice a year vs. several times a week a few years ago before he got into a relationship and moved downtown & then to a nearby island, but we always pick up exactly where we left off and he's such an amazingly positive force of energy & good vibes that I'm left recharged until we meet again. :heart:


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kraftiekortie
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09 May 2018, 1:46 pm

It's good to have friends you can really rely on.



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09 May 2018, 1:56 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's good to have friends you can really rely on.


It is, but I put him up on a pedestal far above friends you can really rely on because everything that I am, have, will become, and will ever do in my life is thanks to meeting him ~6 years ago. He's the Herbalist, and his father the Naturopathic Doctor. Had I not met, liked and respected, him, I never would have gone down the journey of self discovery & medicinal treatment that I have and I'd either be stuck right where I was in Autistic Hell unable to work or function, or worse, I'd be dead. And that's not an exaggeration. It's why I express the highest level of appreciation for him & his family that I can. They didn't have the answers nor hand them to me, but I learned them because of them. I spoil them all at Christmas time & deliver a different bottle of liqueur on every holiday. I can never ever thank them enough for how they've changed my life - but I can show them with symbolic gifts, and also with the actions I'll take for the rest of my life. The father daydreams about returning to school to complete his MD someday even though he's in his mid-late 50's, and my friend, his son, has only ever wanted to be a Healer, no designations required. And he is the most healing person I know, just to be around. But yeah, in part, I'll pursue an education & career in medicine in their honour. They were instrumental in making this possible for me, and I'll make them proud that they did.


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09 May 2018, 7:31 pm

8


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09 May 2018, 8:07 pm

-5

Still tired all the time, and I'm pretty sure I feel my depression starting to come back again. I also really wish I had some more socially acceptable interests instead of my current bizarre interests that most people find horrifying - being reminded of what other people think of such things is really making me feel like a freak.


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09 May 2018, 10:01 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
-5

Still tired all the time, and I'm pretty sure I feel my depression starting to come back again. I also really wish I had some more socially acceptable interests instead of my current bizarre interests that most people find horrifying - being reminded of what other people think of such things is really making me feel like a freak.


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What are your interests? You can pm if you feel more comfortable



dragonsanddemons
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09 May 2018, 10:12 pm

sly279 wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
-5

Still tired all the time, and I'm pretty sure I feel my depression starting to come back again. I also really wish I had some more socially acceptable interests instead of my current bizarre interests that most people find horrifying - being reminded of what other people think of such things is really making me feel like a freak.


Fox hugs
What are your interests? You can pm if you feel more comfortable


My current obsessions are body horror and the short film "Bobby Yeah," which is incredibly bizarre and not for the faint of heart. I don't blame people for finding it horrifying, I just wish I could have more "normal" interests.


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Tim_Tex
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09 May 2018, 11:51 pm

-1

Many people I talk to are so far away.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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10 May 2018, 3:24 pm

7


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10 May 2018, 5:21 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
sly279 wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
-5

Still tired all the time, and I'm pretty sure I feel my depression starting to come back again. I also really wish I had some more socially acceptable interests instead of my current bizarre interests that most people find horrifying - being reminded of what other people think of such things is really making me feel like a freak.


Fox hugs
What are your interests? You can pm if you feel more comfortable


My current obsessions are body horror and the short film "Bobby Yeah," which is incredibly bizarre and not for the faint of heart. I don't blame people for finding it horrifying, I just wish I could have more "normal" interests.


I'm sorry you feel that way. I really don't see anything wrong with being interested in horror films, I find it odd someone would judge you for it. People like horror films, if people didn't, no one would make them.

How do people react when you tell them about the horror films?


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AnonymousAnonymous
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10 May 2018, 6:11 pm

8


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ltcvnzl
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10 May 2018, 6:23 pm

0

i feel blank and tired and bloated
i sleep too much



dragonsanddemons
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10 May 2018, 8:27 pm

AquaineBay wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
sly279 wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
-5

Still tired all the time, and I'm pretty sure I feel my depression starting to come back again. I also really wish I had some more socially acceptable interests instead of my current bizarre interests that most people find horrifying - being reminded of what other people think of such things is really making me feel like a freak.


Fox hugs
What are your interests? You can pm if you feel more comfortable


My current obsessions are body horror and the short film "Bobby Yeah," which is incredibly bizarre and not for the faint of heart. I don't blame people for finding it horrifying, I just wish I could have more "normal" interests.


I'm sorry you feel that way. I really don't see anything wrong with being interested in horror films, I find it odd someone would judge you for it. People like horror films, if people didn't, no one would make them.

How do people react when you tell them about the horror films?


They're usually surprised because I'm female, quiet, and timid-seeming, so I don't seem like the kind of person they'd expect to like horror at all. I guess their reactions aren't usually negative per se, although I have had people react judgmentally before - I know my fear of people judging me goes far beyond being reasonable. But mostly last night I was just upset because I was all excited to change my avatar to one of the less horrifying things from "Bobby Yeah," but I wanted to be sure it wasn't going to be too creepy, so I made a poll asking which of two images I should use or if I should use neither, and neither of the images went over very well. It just reminded me how far off my perception of things is from most people's.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


AquaineBay
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10 May 2018, 10:03 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:

They're usually surprised because I'm female, quiet, and timid-seeming, so I don't seem like the kind of person they'd expect to like horror at all. I guess their reactions aren't usually negative per se, although I have had people react judgmentally before - I know my fear of people judging me goes far beyond being reasonable. But mostly last night I was just upset because I was all excited to change my avatar to one of the less horrifying things from "Bobby Yeah," but I wanted to be sure it wasn't going to be too creepy, so I made a poll asking which of two images I should use or if I should use neither, and neither of the images went over very well. It just reminded me how far off my perception of things is from most people's.


I will admit I was quite surprised myself when I found out you liked horror films. I wouldn't judge you for it but it was surprising. Was there something else in the picture that might have put people off? Maybe it could be offensive or too graphic for an avatar. I figured as long as you weren't harming anyone then what does it matter the avatar you pick!

Edit: I forgot to ask: What were the options for the avatar?


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11 May 2018, 10:34 am

-9

This homelessness business really got to me this week. I haven't been sleeping so I'm sleep deprived. Just trying to find a place to stretch out during the day is an unbelievable chore. I'm mentally and physically exhausted and haven't felt this low since the days when I used to abuse illegal substances. Sometimes I ask myself "why bother?" And I don't have the answer to that question.


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