Board index › Coping in life › The Haven

scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

Page 1837 of 2223 [ 35554 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 1834, 1835, 1836, 1837, 1838, 1839, 1840 ... 2223  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

27 Aug 2018, 11:31 pm

cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn, did you forget about me? :cry:


no, what's up?


I tried to go around the city to see if I could find a girlfriend but I couldn't find one. :(


give yourself a pat on the back for trying. none of us are in the "results" department. we put in our effort and the universe does whatever. i understand, though, that trying without the desired results can get frustrating.


I feel like everyone except me got invited to the dating club. They got their invitations and mine got lost in the mail. It's so frustrating and discouraging. It's partly why I've wanted to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.


when i was suicidal, my doc asked me to sell my gun. i did.


I would visualize shooting myself in the head around the time I truly became depressed. That was almost 13 years ago. I've seen some say they are glad they didn't kill themselves because their dreams became true shortly but I am still suffering.


do you have a gun?


I don't.



cathylynn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,045
Location: northeast US

27 Aug 2018, 11:36 pm

Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn, did you forget about me? :cry:


no, what's up?


I tried to go around the city to see if I could find a girlfriend but I couldn't find one. :(


give yourself a pat on the back for trying. none of us are in the "results" department. we put in our effort and the universe does whatever. i understand, though, that trying without the desired results can get frustrating.


I feel like everyone except me got invited to the dating club. They got their invitations and mine got lost in the mail. It's so frustrating and discouraging. It's partly why I've wanted to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.


when i was suicidal, my doc asked me to sell my gun. i did.


I would visualize shooting myself in the head around the time I truly became depressed. That was almost 13 years ago. I've seen some say they are glad they didn't kill themselves because their dreams became true shortly but I am still suffering.


do you have a gun?


I don't.


i'm relieved.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

27 Aug 2018, 11:42 pm

cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn, did you forget about me? :cry:


no, what's up?


I tried to go around the city to see if I could find a girlfriend but I couldn't find one. :(


give yourself a pat on the back for trying. none of us are in the "results" department. we put in our effort and the universe does whatever. i understand, though, that trying without the desired results can get frustrating.


I feel like everyone except me got invited to the dating club. They got their invitations and mine got lost in the mail. It's so frustrating and discouraging. It's partly why I've wanted to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.


when i was suicidal, my doc asked me to sell my gun. i did.


I would visualize shooting myself in the head around the time I truly became depressed. That was almost 13 years ago. I've seen some say they are glad they didn't kill themselves because their dreams became true shortly but I am still suffering.


do you have a gun?


I don't.


i'm relieved.


I sometimes worry I'll wake up as an old man who still can't even get a coffee date. :(



cathylynn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,045
Location: northeast US

27 Aug 2018, 11:50 pm

Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn, did you forget about me? :cry:


no, what's up?


I tried to go around the city to see if I could find a girlfriend but I couldn't find one. :(


give yourself a pat on the back for trying. none of us are in the "results" department. we put in our effort and the universe does whatever. i understand, though, that trying without the desired results can get frustrating.


I feel like everyone except me got invited to the dating club. They got their invitations and mine got lost in the mail. It's so frustrating and discouraging. It's partly why I've wanted to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.


when i was suicidal, my doc asked me to sell my gun. i did.


I would visualize shooting myself in the head around the time I truly became depressed. That was almost 13 years ago. I've seen some say they are glad they didn't kill themselves because their dreams became true shortly but I am still suffering.


do you have a gun?


I don't.


i'm relieved.


I sometimes worry I'll wake up as an old man who still can't even get a coffee date. :(


have you been doing any drawing lately? anything to help you focus on the present?



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

27 Aug 2018, 11:56 pm

cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn, did you forget about me? :cry:


no, what's up?


I tried to go around the city to see if I could find a girlfriend but I couldn't find one. :(


give yourself a pat on the back for trying. none of us are in the "results" department. we put in our effort and the universe does whatever. i understand, though, that trying without the desired results can get frustrating.


I feel like everyone except me got invited to the dating club. They got their invitations and mine got lost in the mail. It's so frustrating and discouraging. It's partly why I've wanted to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.


when i was suicidal, my doc asked me to sell my gun. i did.


I would visualize shooting myself in the head around the time I truly became depressed. That was almost 13 years ago. I've seen some say they are glad they didn't kill themselves because their dreams became true shortly but I am still suffering.


do you have a gun?


I don't.


i'm relieved.


I sometimes worry I'll wake up as an old man who still can't even get a coffee date. :(


have you been doing any drawing lately? anything to help you focus on the present?


I haven't. My creativity is practically dead and the last things I drew looked so bad I threw them away. I feel like my brain can't make any new neural pathways and can't improve my drawing technique. I used to want to draw a manga influenced comic but I can't even draw a single character. :( I feel like a malfunctioning machine that needs to be scrapped.



Kiprobalhato
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2014
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 29,119
Location: מתחת לעננים

28 Aug 2018, 12:15 am

poopnuts



F355



(0)


_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


kazanscube
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 26,180

28 Aug 2018, 5:51 am

0 as, I'm in the middle


_________________
I'm an extremely vulnerable person. Vulnerability and emotion are very closely linked.


cathylynn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,045
Location: northeast US

28 Aug 2018, 10:58 am

Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn, did you forget about me? :cry:


no, what's up?


I tried to go around the city to see if I could find a girlfriend but I couldn't find one. :(


give yourself a pat on the back for trying. none of us are in the "results" department. we put in our effort and the universe does whatever. i understand, though, that trying without the desired results can get frustrating.


I feel like everyone except me got invited to the dating club. They got their invitations and mine got lost in the mail. It's so frustrating and discouraging. It's partly why I've wanted to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.


when i was suicidal, my doc asked me to sell my gun. i did.


I would visualize shooting myself in the head around the time I truly became depressed. That was almost 13 years ago. I've seen some say they are glad they didn't kill themselves because their dreams became true shortly but I am still suffering.


do you have a gun?


I don't.


i'm relieved.


I sometimes worry I'll wake up as an old man who still can't even get a coffee date. :(


have you been doing any drawing lately? anything to help you focus on the present?


I haven't. My creativity is practically dead and the last things I drew looked so bad I threw them away. I feel like my brain can't make any new neural pathways and can't improve my drawing technique. I used to want to draw a manga influenced comic but I can't even draw a single character. :( I feel like a malfunctioning machine that needs to be scrapped.


what about coloring? it's more relaxing than drawing, still a bit creative, and akin to meditation that has all sorts of benefits.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

28 Aug 2018, 11:05 am

cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
Marknis wrote:
cathylynn, did you forget about me? :cry:


no, what's up?


I tried to go around the city to see if I could find a girlfriend but I couldn't find one. :(


give yourself a pat on the back for trying. none of us are in the "results" department. we put in our effort and the universe does whatever. i understand, though, that trying without the desired results can get frustrating.


I feel like everyone except me got invited to the dating club. They got their invitations and mine got lost in the mail. It's so frustrating and discouraging. It's partly why I've wanted to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.


when i was suicidal, my doc asked me to sell my gun. i did.


I would visualize shooting myself in the head around the time I truly became depressed. That was almost 13 years ago. I've seen some say they are glad they didn't kill themselves because their dreams became true shortly but I am still suffering.


do you have a gun?


I don't.


i'm relieved.


I sometimes worry I'll wake up as an old man who still can't even get a coffee date. :(


have you been doing any drawing lately? anything to help you focus on the present?


I haven't. My creativity is practically dead and the last things I drew looked so bad I threw them away. I feel like my brain can't make any new neural pathways and can't improve my drawing technique. I used to want to draw a manga influenced comic but I can't even draw a single character. :( I feel like a malfunctioning machine that needs to be scrapped.


what about coloring? it's more relaxing than drawing, still a bit creative, and akin to meditation that has all sorts of benefits.


It's never crossed my mind to try it. Adults in my area are generally pressured to avoid pursuing artistic interests because they think it's too "liberal".



cathylynn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,045
Location: northeast US

28 Aug 2018, 11:18 am

i color when i have free time. i have a few of the bigger ones hanging on our walls. swim against that artist-hating stream and give it a try. adult coloring books will set you back about $10. coloring pencils, i'm not sure of the price because mine were a gift. i recommend getting a set of at least 16.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

28 Aug 2018, 11:37 am

I suppose I could try it when I have the money to spend on it. My therapist might have some things like that as well.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

28 Aug 2018, 6:17 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
sly279 wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-20 still


We're always here for you whenever you need support.


Doubtful, most the people here would prefer I die.


Well, I can't speak for others, but I certainly don't. You've shown me nothing but kindness and compassion, and I would absolutely miss you if you left the site for any reason. I may not always know what to say to help, and sometimes I choose to say nothing for fear of saying the wrong thing and making things worse, but at the very least, I've always got a big dragon hug waiting for you anytime you need one.

((((((((sly279))))))))


Hugs i miss our pm’s



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

28 Aug 2018, 6:22 pm

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:
No matter what we all say, how loving, sweet, sincere and kind our words are, your self-hatred has swallowed you whole, and you will always have the last word saying how horrible and bad you supposedly are. I truly hope you will one day see yourself for what you are truly worth instead of the horrible image the demons in your mind have created.

From a Wolf to a Fox, I wish you all the strength in the world, Sly. Good luck!


For everyone one of you there’s many more here telling me and saying mean things about me here. I’ve learned my place as rich people would say.
What we think of ourselves means nothing all that matters is what others think of us unless you live alone on an island. What I thought of myself never lined up with how everyone especially women think of me.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

28 Aug 2018, 6:31 pm

People say going through pain makes you a better person. I've suffered for 12 years of depression and it has not made me a better person. I feel hollowed out and sick instead.



LoneLoyalWolf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jun 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,295
Location: NL

28 Aug 2018, 6:58 pm

sly279 wrote:
For everyone one of you there’s many more here telling me and saying mean things about me here. I’ve learned my place as rich people would say.
What we think of ourselves means nothing all that matters is what others think of us unless you live alone on an island. What I thought of myself never lined up with how everyone especially women think of me.

I have been fat all my life. People used to call me fat a lot, in the most horrible ways, often times in that passive aggressive way, where it is almost impossible to defend yourself. Now, I have lost over 200 pounds, am as thin as I can get. They now tell me I looked better when I was fat... And this isn't the only thing, people do this with me with everything. Always negative and always bashing me. No matter how hard I try, they always have something to nag about.

Some people just attract negative behavior, never get any positive feedback, always seem to rub people the wrong way, no matter how hard they try. It's in our blood. Predators sense it, and love to prey on people like us. Some people say it's weakness, patterns in our behavior, bad social skills and so on. Well, I am not weak, a big guy at 6,6f, and socially, I am not that weak, but people still do it to me.

It isn't important what other people think. What you think is important. It is your life, not theirs.

There are people here that hate my guts and have expressed it. Their problem, not mine. I deserve to be here, like everyone else, and if they are such nasty people to be hateful, so be it. If people are bullying you or sending you mean PM's, please do report them. Personal attacks are not allowed.


_________________
Please be good to nature and all animals. Please be kind, respectful and patient with everyone. Equality and equity.


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

28 Aug 2018, 7:03 pm

ltcvnzl wrote:
@sly279, you are a sweet and nice person. i really like you and have a few good memories of you being so nice to me here. i appreciate that a lot and i hope you feel better soon. :heart:


Really? Always thought you still didn’t like me. Glad to hear you like me :)
I’m a naive kind sweet person. :( I wish I was more manly