Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear ...

I'm afraid that this may be the end. My heart tells me this and it's being stubborn.

I hope with all my heart that you look back on this with happy memories. We have done a lot of things right. But this is one thing that you cannot change.

I know it will be hard to accept but I hope that you will someday understand. Until that day comes, I will be waiting for you.

An abundance of words and a lack of vulnerability made you unauthentic. Hardly a recipe for a relationship.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Enough is enough.
You have bullied me.
You have neglected me.
You are ashamed of yourselves whenever I screw up, and whilst doing PR and damage control, you find new ways to remind me that I was a mistake.
You have failed to teach me social skills.
You have failed to teach me how to survive in the world.
You have got to be the most solipsistic, vile, and ugly people I know in my nineteen years of existence.
f**k you.

Dear Mom,

I love you. I just wish you could stop hating yourself for one minute and see the good in things. No, it would not have been a great idea not to have had kids, and frankly, it hurts like crazy when you say that, because as f***ed up as your genes are, I kind of like it here most of the time and I hate to think that you'd prefer it if I wasn't. Please go see a therapist because you're f***ed up and need help, whether you think you're beyond help or not. Because frankly, you can be such a self-centered, pathetic creature, and it's played out. I love you, but I'm sick of your martyr act.

Dear Joel,

Hi, it's your overly-obsessed moronic fan again. You know, the one who pays $600 for an hour of your attention every year? Yeah, me. The one you probably don't give a s**t about.

I got a job interview, and didn't get the job. I was so hopeful that this time would be it. I know you never gave up on your dream to play AFL, but right now I'm finding it so hard to not give up on moving to Brisbane. I love you so much, and yet that love is tainted with a bitterness. I'll never be as good as you at anything. I'll never get Employee of the Year like you got the Merrett-Murray Medal. I hate you because I can never be as good as you, unlike you I probably will never get my dream.

Kerryn.

Something has been weighing on me today, which I have been turning over in my head. Should I be self-editing on a support site? After careful thought, thought the answer is still no. This is the best avenue for exploration, gaining and offering support, and learning in a group setting. This has been the only place I can wrestle out the demons, without worrying about setting off any hidden mines or being found offensive or insane even. This is my continuing perception that I stand by. This place may not be for everyone, but it continues to benefit many.

dear d...........

thank you for writing about me. You made my day.

Oh you have no idea how much you would mean to me. So profound an impact you would have that even the mere thought that, maybe, just maybe, something wonderful could arise of our timid flirtations has sent shock waves of goodness through the very fibers of my being and is inspiring me to pass this joy unto the hearts of all men.

You have no idea how much I wanted to ask you out today. It just happened to transpire that the both if us were otherwise occupied; it hurt me to realize that I was now going to have to wait until next week to ask you. You see, you captured my attention months ago, initially with your kindness and good-natured spirit, but, soon after, your stunning intellect and my realization that we share many common interests told me that you are someone different from the rest; you are a good person, somebody I admire, and somebody I very much want to get to know a bit more closely.

My words only thinly hide my utter amusement and sheer delight at the funny little nickname you've so coquettishly given me. I admit, my cunning fails to generate a sufficient rebuttal to this at the moment, but please, do know that you've earned my attention and that I have every intention of asking you on, not a wishy-washy "hang out," but, a date at the very next chance I get.

I'm shy, I know you get that, and I can tell that you're a little nervous too. Trust me, I will try my absolute best to be my best. I will not pressure you, but I will try to demonstrate my profound interest in you as well as my profound respect for you. Please, just wait one more week. I trust that you will. Let me please have this chance; you have no idea just how much it would mean to me.

Dear ex boyfriend/current my best friend,
Please stop telling me I'm the worst person in the universe when I'm the only person you talk to about personal problems and when I never get angry at you no matter how badly you treat me :/ You're my best friend but it's not a free pass to take things out on me and dump everything on me!

From
me

You're still a touchstone for me. I constantly challenge this, but it's still true. It's both frustrating and comforting in away.

I feel guilty by thoughts of moving on. Yet it wasn't my choice, the guilt lies elsewhere.

Dear You,

I'm glad you dumped me. You're unjustifiably cocky, considering you have no understanding of basic human kindness. You're not attractive, intelligent, educated, kind, or even slightly humane. You're ridiculously narcissistic and self-important.

You act like you're so lonely because you don't have a girlfriend. In case you missed the memo- everyone around you that is not delusional knows you just want a "one nighter," so quit it. Just go on Craigslist. You're not a romantic, and you don't respect women (or ANYONE.) Women don't "scorn" you, you're just an idiot.

In the end, you're disgusting. I am glad I kissed you once, and that was it.

From,
Me

Dear Hypocrite,

Quit calling me a racist. All I said was that all of the presidents before Obama were white men, and that it was kind of nice to see a bit of change.

You're always using racial slurs against non-whites, so you're much more of a racist than I ever was.

Sincerely, Tharja

I know that you had good intentions, but, honestly, you truly ruined my day.
Please understand that I like to be by myself sometimes; it's therapeutic in many ways. Unbeknownst to you, I wouldn't, if left to my own devices, sit home all day and play videogames; I do that only when you're around because I'm afraid to show you who I really am, somebody who doesn't have many inhibitions, fears, or reservations. See, because of the role that you've played in my life, and the role that I've had in yours for so many years, I'm stuck in the mindset of perpetually satisfying that archetype in your mind of what you still believe me to be regardless of the fact that I have transformed into a fundamentally different person over the years. I'm afraid of what you'd think if I were to show you the real me, a me that, to put it bluntly, doesn't need you anymore. I keep almost all of my personal thoughts, passions, and ambitions from you now because I just don't feel comfortable sharing them with you; they're so far away from the things that the super-aspie 10 year-old that you still know me as would have done. The 21 year-old me has learned how to live in a neurotypical world and how to revel in the simple things that such a world entails.

I still love you, don't get me wrong, but I just want you to know that you can let me be sometimes. Leave me alone, I know what I'm doing.

Dear you,

Who the hell are you anyway?

Dear super hot girl that I see a few times a week at Dunkin Donuts,

I hope that you realize my staring at you is my intense interest in you. I think you are beautiful! I am lucky to have a similar morning schedule as you, because over the past few weeks, I've managed to hold the door for you and even make some minor small talk while in line.

Unfortunately for you, I can't bridge the gap from merely seeing you to asking you out. I say unfortunately for you, because I think I am an awesome guy and could make you very very happy. Instead, I will just have to resort to common courtesies and hope that you don't get creeped out by my frequent niceties.

I know you aren't married; you don't wear a wedding ring or an engagement ring. You came with a friend once and didn't talk about a boyfriend. You dress attractively, and apparently care about your appearance, as if you are trying to attract attention, so I have high confidence that you are single. Unfortunately, we will never date. But, I did want you to know that I care and would very much like to go out with you.

Sincerely,

Forever alone