Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

Post Reply New Topic

to my dear friend

Yes I do like you and I wish we could be together. Unfortunately I'm married and despite the fact that I've had emotional affair with you it is now over. I would still like to be friends and hope you understand that if I were ever single you would be my first choice. I'm staying in my unhappy marriage for the sake of my children. Please don't kill or hurt yourself from loneliness I care so much about you that would break my heart because despite everything I do deeply care about you. I feel that I must give my marriage as much effort as I can and continuing our affair doesn't help. I don't have a job and no prospect of being able to support myself and my health is very poor. No matter what I do it's going to hurt. Please forgive me.

sincerely,
utterly depressed and forever lonely.

Dear Mum,

Please stop using sex against me. I thought that I could come to you about being asked erotic personal questions by a counselor at the soup kitchen where I volunteer. You didn't listen to anything that I told you or comfort me. You decided to make me feel worse by asking why I was talking to a counselor at the soup kitchen in a very nasty way. You used my fear of sex against me because I have undiagnosed Gender Identity Disorder.

Just stop it.

Shelby, but I prefer Mick

Dear Sus,

thank you for being there when I took that overdose
you will never understand how grateful I am

...

This was not a rant, but it was a letter unsaid

Dear candid89,

I hope you remember what you said about me in Early 2007 on WP, in The Haven when you're getting your Depend's changed by the nurses in a nursing home. What you said about me wasn't nice to me. How would you like it if you were the one who was incontinent and I said that I put you off when I found out. That's how I felt and I had the misfortune of being reminded today when I was looking back at my posts in this thread:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt21516.html

Signed, Someone who trusted you before that day

Dear ExBoyfriend...

I want you to know that you have judged me unfairly. You have used me as a crutch and disposed of me when it was convenient for you. You have ridiculed me, bullied me, loved me, made me feel spacial and awful.

I want you to know that I'm an aspie. My brain is not like yours at all. I see patterns in things everywhere I go, I have synesthesia and perceive things in a far different manner than you do. It is difficult for me to accurately read social cues, and as a result of being unsure of myself when meeting new people and having been bullied, I have a fair amount of social phobia as well. Your criticism of me did not help. I never "hated" your friends at all; I just didn't know how to fit in or socialize with them.

Please don't think I'm trying to elicit any sympathy from you. Now that I am aware of such things about myself, I am actually quite comfortable in my skin, for the first time in my life ever. I know there will be the inevitable awkwardness in nearly every social situation I encounter during the day. I am okay with that. I am okay with being alone in certain situations because of my issues. I really don't feel like I'm all that different until someone makes me feel bad about my awkwardness. I feel actually kind of lucky... I mean, most people don't get to see letters in color, or feel the textures and colored tones of music. Most don't know what it's like to see the patterns of the world, like the blueprints of the energies of the universe, like a secret illuminati code. I would hate to blindly shuffle along without being able to make such observations.

Anyway, I guess I just felt the need to tell you since I feel like you were one of the main focal points of my formative years. (Age 15 to 21!) I feel like you of all people would know me more intimately than anyone, and yet I feel like you never really knew anything about me at all.

So, that's me. I hope you are happy with your new girlfriend. She certainly seems to be everything I'm not: super social and outgoing, fashion obsessed, your perfect match. I truly wish you the best of happiness.

Regards,
your ex-gf


...except that I'll never send this to you, because it's been 6 years since we broke up and you'd never understand anyway.

Dearest Sarina (my beautiful inside and out coworker),

You have been one of my closest friends here in the past couple of months. I wish I could tell you just how much you mean to me. When I first saw you the day you got hired and had your orientation, I never really realized one day I was going to like-like you. I remember the day too; your brother Mike and I were talking about something (I can't quite remember) and he said something along the lines of "Hey, you have a crush on my sister?" I remember replying back no, I don't. But that planted a bug in me, it made me start to think. I started looking at you with small flowers blooming in the depths of my chest. A couple of days later I had told Mike "Remember what I said about Sarina? I take it back."

At first, I wanted to hang out with you, but used the word "date" instead of "hangout" (because at that time a date had a different definition in my mental dictionary). You caught wind of it, and was (understandably) taken aback; so I had to put it out of my mind. And as my school semester went on I liked different girls only because experience told me that you and I probably wouldn't last. But girls came and went; and now in my second semester of college, you're still there in my sights. And after the surprise party you and everyone else helped throw (still in absolute shock after that day), it just reaffirmed my faith in all of you, especially you.

I cherish each and every day I'm hanging out with you; whether it's seeing you in the aisles at Strack's while on shift, seeing you come in the store while you're off, and of course me coming in with my dad on Wednesday night to fill the shelves and seeing beautiful you. I fear that each passing day could be the last with you stemming from experiences in high school with others and at college. Even though we're still in the friends stage, my mind cannot help but wander off into the future and wonder about what a future with you could possibly be like; a future that involves your beautiful voice. I believe your camera does you absolutely no justice when you sing; I've heard your pro recordings with Dusty Bakker, and you're absolutely amazing!

So anyway, that's my spiel. I hope you have a wonderful day, and may your grandfather rest eternally in peace.

Love, Alex

Dear you,

I think we're on the same page. I never know how to respond around you, but I always enjoy your company. You are treasured.

Sincerely,
Me

Dear “Lauren,”

We met each other for two nights. We talked a little bit on the first one, and a little bit more on the second. We hooked up on the second. Actually, we didn’t even hook up, we just made out and groped each other for a while. Don’t get me wrong, it felt great, but can you appreciate just how much of a risk I am taking here? Flying across an ocean, staying in a hotel just to see you? And I don’t even know if I really like you or not. I told you how much of a connection I thought I had with you—well, I wasn’t lying, but I’ve always confused true love and sexual passion (lust). It’s basically like I have them completely backward and my mind is defective and broken. But now everyone says you’re crazy too, or at least two people I know have said it. I don’t know whether to trust them or not. Don’t you wish people just had labels on them to list all their different positive and negative traits? Things would be a lot easier in life if they did. To be honest, I doubt I’ll be compatible with you. I have no facial expressions, I take everything too seriously, I rarely laugh at any “human moments,” I never say anything funny, I have never really connected with another human being on a deep level, and even if you aren’t crazy (and I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt) I’m liable to drive you so. I just hope it doesn’t happen in the 4 days we’re about to spend together. I wish I could just be this awesome guy who makes you laugh and feel special but I have to be realistic about myself. Whatever “connection” we felt those nights was likely just alcohol and hormones doing most of the talking.

But dear God do I hope I’m wrong. Because I’m dying to feel true affection and love from another human being. And you are just incredibly beautiful, smart, and talented enough that I could return the favor. I really hope so.

Sincerely,
Me

Dear ~,

It's been 3 weeks today since you last talked to me. Not sure what I did to you to make you hate me. I fully realize I'm not the "ideal" man. I'm autistic, I don't look people in the eye when I talk, and I'm not very confrontational. I have some nice scars on my arms from a teenager that I'm sure you most likely find rather unappealing.. But, if you think these things make me weak, you're very wrong. One thing about me, the terrible things that have happened to me.. I don't dwell on them, granted I'm still dwelling over you, that will surely change shortly since I've figured out you're genuinely ignoring me and not "taking a stress break" or whatever, but, these terrible things, again, they only make me stronger. All these things I learn from them, I'm not confrontational because I'm afraid, I am because I don't like arguing, fighting, if I really had to, if I was threatened, I surely would. But I haven't had to. These scars.. you know the beautiful thing about them? I love them. They give me a hobby - finding tattoo ideas to cover them up with. Really excited for the next two I plan on getting. Amongst other things, I have my s**t together today as it is, emotionally, financially, mentally, can't say the same for you even halfway in all of those aspects.. So I certainly hope you don't judge me in that regard. I didn't deserve the way you treated me. I gave you everything I had and then some, and didn't even get 25% from you. I thought I did everything I could to show you how much I loved you, and, I would've told you I was in love with you, but it was so obvious to me you weren't ready to hear it. I would've loved to tell you, I wasn't afraid to, but why would I? It's hard enough you make up lies to avoid me, I don't need someone lieing to me about loving me. I knew you were lieing, each and every time you did. Shame on me for thinking it was just stress and you needing more alone time on my part. Fully aware that doesn't matter to you, I'm sure you'll go out and find some handsome guy who isn't shy, maybe someone taller and bigger. Hope he makes you happy. Sure you probably, either already have, or were looking for him the entire time.

If you think I'm just sitting here waiting for you, I'm not. I certainly don't give a damn if you message me, and I certainly will not be doing so. Even if you did, I'm pretty sure at this point I'd tell you I don't want to be friends anymore anyways, because I can't afford to be friends with people who want to use me, and those to which I do not trust. I thought in the least we could be friends after all this, we could learn from each other and maybe you could learn to trust people and open up to them. But I guess now you're showing your true colors. This "I can't be around people" nonsense, I never believed it, and I know it isn't true. You tell me all these stories about your friends, you want to move closer to your friends, your friends would kill for you and you for them. But ah, where do I fit into this equation? I do not. I get it, I'm just the gullible autistic guy who thought you really wanted to be with me. No idea why you held on to me for so long when you knew you didn't want me. Guess you needed that self-validation no one else would give you. Well, glad you got it.

You were a terrible girlfriend, I held on.. I don't know why I did. I guess I was lonely, and I thought I saw good in you because of how you treated your friends. I thought you were just shy and sweet, and would open up eventually. Turns out, not only were you never going to, but you knew you were never going to, and you never even cared halfway about me. How's my grandma? Oh, she's dead. Bet you didn't even remember that, I only mentioned her a good 5 times or so.

Love always,
Andrew

Dear em-ploy-errs,

My faith is starting to dwindle fast. Even if you give me a promotion I doubt you'll properly address the other issues I brought up. I can't bring myself to argue any further because even your response to that will make me feel like a spesh needs child (wow, lil chewie's asserting herself!). You were supposed to meet with me on Friday but you either conveniently forgot or didn't care, which just shows that you're not taking my problem seriously.

Why do I get the feeling everyone in the office thinks I'm ret*d? Maybe I'm stuck where I am because you think I'm only capable of going so far. I've reached my pinnacle have I? Like I'm supposed to be happy I've defied the odds by even having a job? No I don't think it was entirely my lack of confidence and self esteem holding me back. I think it's just as much you and others as it is me. You treat me like a kid for gods sake, not an adult who's supposed to be beyond her trainee years by now. That's why Mrs Filipino Mail Order lady called me a trainee, because she thinks I'm an immature (and mentally impaired) kid to match. Nevermind how long I've been there and how much experience I have. First and foremost Cherie is a spesh socially ret*d kid who can't handle being more than a trainee, amirite?

Yeah, surprise! I'm not the same person I was when I first started. I'm not even the same person I was 3 years ago. I'm sorry my not-so-newly found confidence and assertiveness isn't paying in your favour. You even took my letter as some amazing accomplishment, as if you somehow presumed I'd never be capable of writing such. You haven't heard the last of my feelings about this, I can guarantee it.

Regards
Your recently demoted employee

dear sam

I know we have had our differnces over the years and we haven't always seen eye to eye -but you proved today by standing up for me agaisent those horrible chavvy girls who tried to start a fight-that I have a friend for life in you, as you have in me, and I am more greatful for that than you will ever know .


thank you from the bottem of my heart .


love always

rox <3

i will always, always love you.

Dear Steven Schronk,

You posted on Reddit that you where going to offer free game development lessons from the ground up in hopes of getting the institute you work at to recognize that it is a desirable field etc. etc. At the expense of all your students work being published under the GPL license and used as a teaching aid for your future students. I'm a believer in free knowledge and open source everything so I'm ok with this. I was excited to get started 3 months ago.. Then recently you e-mailed everyone saying that we would have our classes starting on the 1st of May. It is the 2nd of May as I write this..

You e-mailed your group of students on May 1st, 5 PM saying that you would start classes later that day, you never did. You never e-mailed your students after that to tell them why you didn't, All you did was post 2 videos to youtube asking for consideration on being a middleman in a certification I can buy without you. I am upset by this, I not only waited 3 months to where I damn near forgot about you all together, but I also cleared my schedule this entire day for your lessons.

If this is how you will be communicating with your students I don't think I want to be educated by you in anything. I'll admit I only wanted your course to learn game engine architecture and 3D modelling lessons but now I'm thinking I would be better off learning those things like I learned my other skills. If you continue to give false hope and be unresponsive with your communication between the other students and I. I will wash my hands of you all together. You had my undivided attention, dedication, and appreciation but now I plain doubt your credibility as an honest educator.

You've made me very upset,

- Your potential best student.

Dear You (know who you are)

I am disappointed you have never trusted yourself enough to reveal to me. I already know who you are. And guess what? Nothings changed, you are still standing.

From Me

Wow. It's like you really have transformed into a machine. You must have your phone in your hand 16 hours a day. You can't stop from checking messages and playing games. You can't disconnect if you tried. Of all people you, a popular person already before this technology, were one who became this. I no longer have a person to blame for trying to destroy me, it's a robot now. And when I badly fooled you making you look like a raving buffoon, after you recovered from the shock you retreated deeper into your melding with machine. Charge up your phone, junkie so you can take another dose.

I'm really confused now. I know you have your hands full, and I'll try to respect your wishes. I feel like I've been dismissed yet again, and that does hurt. I thought we were past this cr#p. I don't assume I know everything that's going on with you. I do know you deserve some happiness and some peace, and I hope you find it.