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scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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dragonsanddemons
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30 Dec 2018, 10:34 pm

-5

Sitting upstairs recovering from sensory overload while the rest of my family plays (and thoroughly enjoys, by the sound of it) a game that would be quite difficult for me to play due to my executive functioning issues. Feeling very alien, very "other," since I've got both autistic vs. NT and dragon vs. human to contend with. Wanting to bleed, but I don't have anything convenient to do it with besides my fingernails, which take too long for my liking.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


cathylynn
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31 Dec 2018, 12:12 am

dragonsanddemons wrote:
-5

Sitting upstairs recovering from sensory overload while the rest of my family plays (and thoroughly enjoys, by the sound of it) a game that would be quite difficult for me to play due to my executive functioning issues. Feeling very alien, very "other," since I've got both autistic vs. NT and dragon vs. human to contend with. Wanting to bleed, but I don't have anything convenient to do it with besides my fingernails, which take too long for my liking.


(((d&d)))



sly279
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31 Dec 2018, 4:18 am

dragonsanddemons wrote:
-5

Sitting upstairs recovering from sensory overload while the rest of my family plays (and thoroughly enjoys, by the sound of it) a game that would be quite difficult for me to play due to my executive functioning issues. Feeling very alien, very "other," since I've got both autistic vs. NT and dragon vs. human to contend with. Wanting to bleed, but I don't have anything convenient to do it with besides my fingernails, which take too long for my liking.


Fox Hugs



la_fenkis
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31 Dec 2018, 8:13 am

-10

The ringing in my ears is keeping me from sleeping...



AnonymousAnonymous
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31 Dec 2018, 5:00 pm

7


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DystopianShadows
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01 Jan 2019, 1:06 am

-10

I'm missing my dad, and I already hate 2019.


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redrobin62
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01 Jan 2019, 1:14 am

+8

I took off one point because only the Queen of England could possibly have a life that's a 10.

I took off another point because I've been riddled with survivor's guilt lately. As folks know, I've had a life plagued by drug and alcohol abuse, jail time, physical abuse, and excessive homelessness.

The thing is, I'm domiciled now. I have a big-ass TV to watch all the sports games on, a nice warm bed to sleep in, food in my gullet, and a midi keyboard for my newly-built recording studio arriving in a few days. Meanwhile, quite a majority of people I'd known out in the "concrete jungle" are still out there using drugs, or going to jail, sleeping beneath underpasses, or OD'ing. I wish they can join me, but things just don't work that way, hence, survivor's guilt. Maybe life is every man for himself. I guess that's just the way it is.


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IsabellaLinton
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01 Jan 2019, 1:15 am

redrobin62 wrote:
+8

I took off one point because only the Queen of England could possibly have a life that's a 10.

I took off another point because I've been riddled with survivor's guilt lately. As folks know, I've had a life plagued by drug and alcohol abuse, jail time, physical abuse, and excessive homelessness.

The thing is, I'm domiciled now. I have a big-ass TV to watch all the sports games on, a nice warm bed to sleep in, food in my gullet, and a midi keyboard for my newly-built recording studio arriving in a few days. Meanwhile, quite a majority of people I'd known out in the "concrete jungle" are still out there using drugs, or going to jail, sleeping beneath underpasses, or OD'ing. I wish they can join me, but things just don't work that way, hence, survivor's guilt. Maybe life is every man for himself. I guess that's just the way it is.


I'm proud of you. :heart:


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dragonsanddemons
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01 Jan 2019, 1:56 am

0.

The new year feels exactly the same as the last - I don't understand why it's supposed to suddenly be so different. My resolution is to stay out of the hospital this year, at least for mental health reasons (since I was in three times last year and once in December of the year before).


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


cathylynn
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01 Jan 2019, 2:35 am

redrobin62 wrote:
+8

I took off one point because only the Queen of England could possibly have a life that's a 10.

I took off another point because I've been riddled with survivor's guilt lately. As folks know, I've had a life plagued by drug and alcohol abuse, jail time, physical abuse, and excessive homelessness.

The thing is, I'm domiciled now. I have a big-ass TV to watch all the sports games on, a nice warm bed to sleep in, food in my gullet, and a midi keyboard for my newly-built recording studio arriving in a few days. Meanwhile, quite a majority of people I'd known out in the "concrete jungle" are still out there using drugs, or going to jail, sleeping beneath underpasses, or OD'ing. I wish they can join me, but things just don't work that way, hence, survivor's guilt. Maybe life is every man for himself. I guess that's just the way it is.


you aren't keeping anyone from having a home. survivor's guilt is par for the course but something to be worked against. and, btw, i'm very glad to hear of your improved circumstances.



Fraljmir
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01 Jan 2019, 3:57 am

-2. Not too bad, infact things on the outside are looking quite good for me, but... I just feel lonely. It's ridiculous, because I have someone in my life who I absolutely adore spending time with, and who appears to enjoy spending time with me too. I just wish we hung out more, but I feel like if I bring it up she'll feel like I'm pressuring her, since she's a busy person. I do appreciate the fact that we're spending any time together, I wish I felt like a top priority for her like she is for me, that's all.



sly279
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01 Jan 2019, 4:39 pm

-20
Everyone about me according to left is not political correct so I should just die I guess.
It’s progressive ideology or nothing I guess.



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01 Jan 2019, 10:51 pm

8


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cathylynn
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01 Jan 2019, 10:57 pm

sly279 wrote:
-20
Everyone about me according to left is not political correct so I should just die I guess.
It’s progressive ideology or nothing I guess.

i was at a meeting this week where an old white guy used the n-word. he also straight up says he's better than all women. he was tolerated. i don't think you could possibly be that bad. who's giving you a hard time?



sly279
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02 Jan 2019, 5:12 am

cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-20
Everyone about me according to left is not political correct so I should just die I guess.
It’s progressive ideology or nothing I guess.

i was at a meeting this week where an old white guy used the n-word. he also straight up says he's better than all women. he was tolerated. i don't think you could possibly be that bad. who's giving you a hard time?

Seems to be a lot of people who use the n word especially in the military.
Most the people i game with use it and I find it upsetting. As a server admin I can’t allow it so I’m hoping they won’t say it in game. Without them I’d have no one to game with.
They also use autistic as slur I think.
“Man thes gamers are so autistic”
Meaning stupid.
What kind if meeting was it?

As for me it does seem I’m deemed horrible person for expressing my experiences thst don’t conform with others ideas.



kraftiekortie
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02 Jan 2019, 10:53 am

I like "progressive" ideology. It implies that "progress" should be made to fix the ills of society.

Instead of just "reacting" to the ills of society with resignation----or even believing the "ills" are actually not "ill" at all.