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scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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cathylynn
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22 Mar 2019, 1:25 am

cathylynn wrote:
la_fenkis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
la_fenkis wrote:
-5 Well at least I know she's just a friend. Definitely not interested in me that way. And it sounds like I may have made her a bit anxious though and maybe withdrawn. Sounds like she wants some time apart from me. I hope I didn't do anything to hurt her. It was nice to think she liked me. I never should have said any of that stuff. It feels like I can already see things between us fraying. I'm a big dumb idiot.

sometimes we feel like idiots just because we do what every human does - make mistakes. and i don't think you even made a mistake.


She was happy before my feelings came in and stomped on everything. I harmed her, made her uncomfortable. She's already been through enough in her life and I didn't need to do any of that. I should have just let her be happy, have a friend instead of replacing it with my stupid feelings. And now there will always be that note of discomfort beneath everything. We can't just be friends with that hanging between us. I took that from her. She's already pushing away like I'm something else now. I can't do this to anyone anymore. I need to stay away, crawl into a hole far away from people and just disappear. Let them be happy away from the damage I cause. Hell, my high school girlfriend would still be alive if it weren't for her getting tangled up with me. I quit.

you didn't make her uncomfortable. she's doing that to herself. if you kept insisting on being her boyfriend after she said she just wants to be friends, that would be sexual harassment. you didn't do that. you were brave and told her how you feel. you should pat yourself on the back, not beat yourself up.

i told my study partner that i had a crush on him. he told me he didn't feel the same way. he didn't seem uncomfortable at all. i accepted the way he felt and my crush gradually turned back into just friendship. that's how two fairly secure people handle potentially touchy situations. if she's got a lot of emotional baggage, you can be sensitive to that, but her reaction is certainly NOT YOUR FAULT.


if she were emotionally healthy, she'd take your feelings as a compliment. she might feel bad about having to hurt your feelings, but she wouldn't be making this all about her.



la_fenkis
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22 Mar 2019, 1:36 am

She's not making this about her. She's just surely noticed me for the plague that I really am.



cathylynn
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22 Mar 2019, 1:58 am

la_fenkis wrote:
She's not making this about her. She's just surely noticed me for the plague that I really am.

ridiculous!



la_fenkis
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22 Mar 2019, 9:53 am

cathylynn wrote:
la_fenkis wrote:
She's not making this about her. She's just surely noticed me for the plague that I really am.

ridiculous!


You're right. I was in the middle of a panic attack and wasn't thinking straight. Made an appointment with a doctor this morning and I'm going to try to get that stuff under control again.



kraftiekortie
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22 Mar 2019, 9:57 am

I'm glad you're inspired to take care of this.

Unless you're a murderer or a rapist or something, or you deliberately inject people with disease germs, it's impossible for you to be a "plague" to anybody.



Marknis
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22 Mar 2019, 11:49 am

-10

Just learned that a domestic terrorist who killed two people in Austin before blowing himself up shares my name.



DanielW
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22 Mar 2019, 12:38 pm

Marknis wrote:
-10

Just learned that a domestic terrorist who killed two people in Austin before blowing himself up shares my name.


If that kind of thing affects you so deeply, perhaps you should stay away from the news for a while.



AprilR
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22 Mar 2019, 12:46 pm

5.

The job isn't that bad now that i think about it.



Claradoon
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22 Mar 2019, 4:17 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
5

Leonard, my plushie leopard from childhood arrived in the post. :heart:
He's currently taking a bath.

Image

That is adorable! You gave him a bath -you inspire me - I'll clean up my teddy-dog. :D



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22 Mar 2019, 4:19 pm

6
Nothing's going right, except the cleaner came!
But all my aspirations are stuck, no matter how small.



sidetrack
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22 Mar 2019, 4:30 pm

~2:

Honestly, I think it's better in a sense to veer towards eating manufactured sweets than pornography addiction as much as I hate the bodily effects of both.

I am not feeling as feverish today but wish consuming milk didn't trigger so much mucus excess. Work and demoralization, labour and demoralization, effort and demoralization..can you even friggin call it 'demoral'ization if you never thought anything was ever important to begin with :| ?.



sly279
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22 Mar 2019, 10:37 pm

-6
Grandmas in the hospital again this time it’s infection in her lung :(


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cathylynn
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23 Mar 2019, 12:19 am

sly279 wrote:
-6
Grandmas in the hospital again this time it’s infection in her lung :(

i hope she gets better quickly.



sly279
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23 Mar 2019, 2:20 am

cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-6
Grandmas in the hospital again this time it’s infection in her lung :(

i hope she gets better quickly.

Thanks me too. I know she’s going die soon cause of the cancer but I’m not ready though I guess I won’t ever be. I wish we were still close but her health worsting made that harder :(


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kraftiekortie
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23 Mar 2019, 5:01 pm

Sorry about your grandma, Sly.



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23 Mar 2019, 10:37 pm

5, I still want to be able to be more positive, also the thought of being in harmony with each other has struck me several times now, I guess the reason that everyone, at least not all the time, don't get along because of many different reasons. I would like it if we all just suddenly got along if It's possible.