la_fenkis wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
la_fenkis wrote:
-5 Well at least I know she's just a friend. Definitely not interested in me that way. And it sounds like I may have made her a bit anxious though and maybe withdrawn. Sounds like she wants some time apart from me. I hope I didn't do anything to hurt her. It was nice to think she liked me. I never should have said any of that stuff. It feels like I can already see things between us fraying. I'm a big dumb idiot.
sometimes we feel like idiots just because we do what every human does - make mistakes. and i don't think you even made a mistake.
She was happy before my feelings came in and stomped on everything. I harmed her, made her uncomfortable. She's already been through enough in her life and I didn't need to do any of that. I should have just let her be happy, have a friend instead of replacing it with my stupid feelings. And now there will always be that note of discomfort beneath everything. We can't just be friends with that hanging between us. I took that from her. She's already pushing away like I'm something else now. I can't do this to anyone anymore. I need to stay away, crawl into a hole far away from people and just disappear. Let them be happy away from the damage I cause. Hell, my high school girlfriend would still be alive if it weren't for her getting tangled up with me. I quit.
you didn't make her uncomfortable. she's doing that to herself. if you kept insisting on being her boyfriend after she said she just wants to be friends, that would be sexual harassment. you didn't do that. you were brave and told her how you feel. you should pat yourself on the back, not beat yourself up.
i told my study partner that i had a crush on him. he told me he didn't feel the same way. he didn't seem uncomfortable at all. i accepted the way he felt and my crush gradually turned back into just friendship. that's how two fairly secure people handle potentially touchy situations. if she's got a lot of emotional baggage, you can be sensitive to that, but her reaction is certainly NOT YOUR FAULT.
if she were emotionally healthy, she'd take your feelings as a compliment. she might feel bad about having to hurt your feelings, but she wouldn't be making this all about her.