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scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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cathylynn
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01 May 2019, 3:18 am

sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-12 not that anyone cares about me


i'm a little hurt.

Sorry. I just feel so alone. I hardly even have anyone to play games with as they all have families and jobs. So now I don’t have anyone. I wish I wasn’t born autistic.


what do you like to play?



komamanga
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01 May 2019, 3:21 am

-5



sly279
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01 May 2019, 12:33 pm

cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-12 not that anyone cares about me


i'm a little hurt.

Sorry. I just feel so alone. I hardly even have anyone to play games with as they all have families and jobs. So now I don’t have anyone. I wish I wasn’t born autistic.


what do you like to play?

PS4 games. Like world of warships, ark survival evolved, division 2 etc. which can be played alone but are meant to be played with others and suck alone. Seems most other aspies play pc :(


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Clawford
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01 May 2019, 2:19 pm

2 Dad is in rehab for aneurysm and is out of bed, but I'm still depressed after parting ways with one of my closest friends.



cathylynn
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01 May 2019, 2:32 pm

sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-12 not that anyone cares about me


i'm a little hurt.

Sorry. I just feel so alone. I hardly even have anyone to play games with as they all have families and jobs. So now I don’t have anyone. I wish I wasn’t born autistic.


what do you like to play?

PS4 games. Like world of warships, ark survival evolved, division 2 etc. which can be played alone but are meant to be played with others and suck alone. Seems most other aspies play pc :(

my aspie nephew plays video games online with other folks. is that an option for you at all? it might open up a world of possible friendships.



sly279
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01 May 2019, 3:32 pm

cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-12 not that anyone cares about me


i'm a little hurt.

Sorry. I just feel so alone. I hardly even have anyone to play games with as they all have families and jobs. So now I don’t have anyone. I wish I wasn’t born autistic.


what do you like to play?

PS4 games. Like world of warships, ark survival evolved, division 2 etc. which can be played alone but are meant to be played with others and suck alone. Seems most other aspies play pc :(

my aspie nephew plays video games online with other folks. is that an option for you at all? it might open up a world of possible friendships.


That’s what I was talking about but everyone on my friends list has jobs and family. Most play the nights I work then go do things with family or gfs on weekend when I’m off.
You can’t make more friends anymore as everyone hangs out in private party chats not in the game chats. Gaming like rest of world has become very anti social.


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SaveFerris
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01 May 2019, 3:37 pm

sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-12 not that anyone cares about me


i'm a little hurt.

Sorry. I just feel so alone. I hardly even have anyone to play games with as they all have families and jobs. So now I don’t have anyone. I wish I wasn’t born autistic.


what do you like to play?

PS4 games. Like world of warships, ark survival evolved, division 2 etc. which can be played alone but are meant to be played with others and suck alone. Seems most other aspies play pc :(

my aspie nephew plays video games online with other folks. is that an option for you at all? it might open up a world of possible friendships.


That’s what I was talking about but everyone on my friends list has jobs and family. Most play the nights I work then go do things with family or gfs on weekend when I’m off.
You can’t make more friends anymore as everyone hangs out in private party chats not in the game chats. Gaming like rest of world has become very anti social.


You have to hook up with people in different timezones then.


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sly279
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01 May 2019, 8:54 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-12 not that anyone cares about me


i'm a little hurt.

Sorry. I just feel so alone. I hardly even have anyone to play games with as they all have families and jobs. So now I don’t have anyone. I wish I wasn’t born autistic.


what do you like to play?

PS4 games. Like world of warships, ark survival evolved, division 2 etc. which can be played alone but are meant to be played with others and suck alone. Seems most other aspies play pc :(

my aspie nephew plays video games online with other folks. is that an option for you at all? it might open up a world of possible friendships.


That’s what I was talking about but everyone on my friends list has jobs and family. Most play the nights I work then go do things with family or gfs on weekend when I’m off.
You can’t make more friends anymore as everyone hangs out in private party chats not in the game chats. Gaming like rest of world has become very anti social.


You have to hook up with people in different timezones then.

Wouldn’t help. Most people have their s**t together and I don’t :(


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AnonymousAnonymous
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03 May 2019, 5:36 pm

7


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the wrong child
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03 May 2019, 5:56 pm

2

sad, again. tired of being ghosted by NT's, and being misunderstood / misinterpreted when I talk or even write to NT's.

the sadness comes and goes, some days I can handle the frustration better than others.



Obscurelex
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03 May 2019, 6:49 pm

3. For most of April I was a 1-2. I've been pretty depressed for the past couple of years, considering a change of lifestyle from what I had before. At 18, I moved to St. Louis from Minnesota because my step dad got a job here. So, I tagged along figuring a new city could bring about a new, exciting life. I was wrong. Life today is excruciating and I'm afraid to change any small thing about it. I've become more bitter, apathetic, and agoraphobic. I hate the person I've become. I want to change, but I'm afraid to. Instead, I cope by self-harming or drinking. I know that's not helping me in any sort of way. I know that it's killing me. So, yes...I feel like a 3. For now. My emotions fluctuate every f**king hour...



caThar4G
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04 May 2019, 12:58 am

-10

I feel like I'm gonna kill myself or someone else.



jordanalmokdad
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04 May 2019, 1:12 am

3



cathylynn
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04 May 2019, 1:37 am

caThar4G wrote:
-10

I feel like I'm gonna kill myself or someone else.

i wondered where you were. what's happening?



the wrong child
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04 May 2019, 5:37 am

Obscurelex wrote:
3. For most of April I was a 1-2. I've been pretty depressed for the past couple of years, considering a change of lifestyle from what I had before. At 18, I moved to St. Louis from Minnesota because my step dad got a job here. So, I tagged along figuring a new city could bring about a new, exciting life. I was wrong. Life today is excruciating and I'm afraid to change any small thing about it. I've become more bitter, apathetic, and agoraphobic. I hate the person I've become. I want to change, but I'm afraid to. Instead, I cope by self-harming or drinking. I know that's not helping me in any sort of way. I know that it's killing me. So, yes...I feel like a 3. For now. My emotions fluctuate every f**king hour...


I hear you on the self-harm, the self-hate, and the agoraphobia. have had too many changes happen in my life in the last 5-10 years, and too much family pressure. I'm happiest alone, but I have a family. also, if left to myself, I will stay that way (silent, not talking to anyone, in my own world) and just be online all the time. interactions with NT's go worse then ....

I'm trying to seek help, but people in my life can't imagine why because they don't understand what life is like for me. I recently learned the term "pet project" and realized -- that's what I am to some people in my life. it sucks. I'm a human being, maybe not their "ideal" ..... but I'm a human being and not their lab rat ......

so combine sadness with some deep rage there, because I found out this "how do we fix her" mentality has been going on since my childhood. (1970s/1980s - some of the dark ages of child psychology).

I don't act out, I never did ..... I take it out on myself, and that's where the cycles of self-harm and chronic isolation come in. I excel in both. probably because society does not have a place for me to excel in anything useful or lucrative that does not require a Ph.D. that I don't have.



Lukario
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04 May 2019, 6:21 am

6/7, wants to be more happy...