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scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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auntblabby
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21 Jul 2019, 2:08 am

caThar4G wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
caThar4G wrote:
-9 I will seriously end my life soon. It turned into one big betrayal from the people who should've been closest to me.

i hope you do NOT do this.


It's over. I'm not doing it tonight. I'm sorry.

"it's over"? :o i hope you can keep talking to me or somebody else here, keep engaged, mebbe if we put our heads together we can figure something out that is helpful?



caThar4G
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21 Jul 2019, 2:13 am

My family betrayed me for the last time.

After tomorrow, I am done living my life.

I pray that God may have mercy on me.



auntblabby
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21 Jul 2019, 2:15 am

caThar4G wrote:
My family betrayed me for the last time. After tomorrow, I am done living my life. I pray that God may have mercy on me.

i really want you to tell me more, but if you want to do so via PM that might be better for you.



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21 Jul 2019, 7:34 am

That +5 is meaningless. It's just a sign of satisfaction and security of the now.

Underneath that was a -7 that's been growing loudly for the past few hours.


It could be anything.
Could be anticipation and pessimism at the upcoming event that I would have to pass through.
Could be the disappointing what could have beens, since I failed to earn a living within a month.
Could be the current tangling mess in the financial system that's just left unaccommodated that I needed to straighten up if I were to succeed and start earning a living.
It could be just the prospect of certain changes and overestimations of expectations. Could be that because I just wasted enough time, that I was too slow, lamenting that I wasted a chance -- despite knowing that one cannot save time, and there were some uncontrollable circumstances to the delay.

Even if; knowing it'll pass, it'll be over if it's over, and that there are more ways for me to go if I were to fail this option.
It's just for now, I'm just going to pass through this like any other. I won't bury it, I won't hide from it, I won't try hard to skip the whole thing. Because one way or another, it'll be over.


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IsabellaLinton
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21 Jul 2019, 2:43 pm

caThar4G wrote:
My family betrayed me for the last time.

After tomorrow, I am done living my life.

I pray that God may have mercy on me.


CaThar please message me.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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21 Jul 2019, 5:13 pm

caThar4G wrote:
-9

I will seriously end my life soon.
It turned into one big betrayal from the people who should've been closest to me.


Do not hurt yourself. Your family betrayed you because IMO, they betrayed themselves without realizing it.


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ltcvnzl
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21 Jul 2019, 6:01 pm

auntblabby wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
0 It will be my birthday tomorrow, and I'll make a party. I should be happy and partially I'm, but I'm also so anxious over nobody coming or it being weird, I don't know. I feel very nervous when I meet people, and specially when different people I know meet.

nobody comes to my parties. :| oh well, there is peace in solitude at least :mrgreen: i hope that you get nice people at your party :flower:


4 people came, and two of them brought other people. Also my sister and her boyfriend. So it was 9 people total, including me. It was fun, the food (which I made) was delicious and people complimented a lot, I like it. I thought it would be weird and people wouldn't be able to talk but it wasn't boring. I feel really happy. I would rate it 7 right now.



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21 Jul 2019, 6:11 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
caThar4G wrote:
-9

I will seriously end my life soon.
It turned into one big betrayal from the people who should've been closest to me.


Do not hurt yourself. Your family betrayed you because IMO, they betrayed themselves without realizing it.


Does demanding people not harm themselves ever actually work? All you're doing is making it more obviously a way to express control over one's life and circumstances.


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21 Jul 2019, 6:11 pm

ltcvnzl wrote:
...the food (which I made) was delicious and people complimented a lot...



What'd you make?


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auntblabby
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21 Jul 2019, 6:56 pm

ltcvnzl wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
0 It will be my birthday tomorrow, and I'll make a party. I should be happy and partially I'm, but I'm also so anxious over nobody coming or it being weird, I don't know. I feel very nervous when I meet people, and specially when different people I know meet.

nobody comes to my parties. :| oh well, there is peace in solitude at least :mrgreen: i hope that you get nice people at your party :flower:


4 people came, and two of them brought other people. Also my sister and her boyfriend. So it was 9 people total, including me. It was fun, the food (which I made) was delicious and people complimented a lot, I like it. I thought it would be weird and people wouldn't be able to talk but it wasn't boring. I feel really happy. I would rate it 7 right now.

WAY TO GO! :wtg:



dragonsanddemons
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21 Jul 2019, 7:27 pm

0 Decreased depression, but increased anxiety :?


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ltcvnzl
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21 Jul 2019, 8:11 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
...the food (which I made) was delicious and people complimented a lot...



What'd you make?


Cheesy garlic bread (I made the sourdough bread and the garlic butter), some kind of cornmeal and wheat buns, pulled pork and grilled beef, onions, bell peppers and zucchini. For dessert, a blueberry-lemon cake and brigadeiros (it's typical for brazilian birthday party, it's a creamy small candy, traditionally chocolate-flavored but I made with chocolate, strawberry and salted caramel flavors).

I really like to cook :D



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21 Jul 2019, 8:17 pm

ltcvnzl wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
...the food (which I made) was delicious and people complimented a lot...



What'd you make?


Cheesy garlic bread (I made the sourdough bread and the garlic butter), some kind of cornmeal and wheat buns, pulled pork and grilled beef, onions, bell peppers and zucchini. For dessert, a blueberry-lemon cake and brigadeiros (it's typical for brazilian birthday party, it's a creamy small candy, traditionally chocolate-flavored but I made with chocolate, strawberry and salted caramel flavors).

I really like to cook :D


Happy Birthday, Itcvnzl ! ! :heart:


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cathylynn
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21 Jul 2019, 8:19 pm

caThar4G wrote:
-9

I will seriously end my life soon.
It turned into one big betrayal from the people who should've been closest to me.

i wish all people could be trusted, especially when we need them most. what happened?



cathylynn
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21 Jul 2019, 8:45 pm

cathylynn wrote:
caThar4G wrote:
-9

I will seriously end my life soon.
It turned into one big betrayal from the people who should've been closest to me.

i wish all people could be trusted, especially when we need them most. what happened?


anything to do with your beloved son?



funeralxempire
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21 Jul 2019, 9:30 pm

ltcvnzl wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
...the food (which I made) was delicious and people complimented a lot...



What'd you make?


Cheesy garlic bread (I made the sourdough bread and the garlic butter), some kind of cornmeal and wheat buns, pulled pork and grilled beef, onions, bell peppers and zucchini. For dessert, a blueberry-lemon cake and brigadeiros (it's typical for brazilian birthday party, it's a creamy small candy, traditionally chocolate-flavored but I made with chocolate, strawberry and salted caramel flavors).

I really like to cook :D


That sounds really tasty. 8O


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The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
They have a name for Nazis that were only Nazis because of economic anxiety or similar issues. They're called Nazis.