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scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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caThar4G
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09 Aug 2019, 4:00 am

I feel like I'm talking to a wall or a black hole.
-5 was -10

up thinking, scared, worried, and now once again alone



auntblabby
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09 Aug 2019, 8:06 am

caThar4G wrote:
I feel like I'm talking to a wall or a black hole.
-5 was -10 up thinking, scared, worried, and now once again alone

a wall or a black hole? like you feel nobody is listening?



Amity
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09 Aug 2019, 8:28 am

Dont have a number for it.
I'm struggling a bit at the moment. I'm sure it will pass, but today I only see endless days of feeling this way.

No escape from the past, it never leaves, it never will, a past that will never change. Memories that I will always carry, but they wont always have this affect.

Usually I can get myself battle ready for the black dog and most days have been fine... Struggling to make my peace with the past being a feature of my life.



kraftiekortie
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09 Aug 2019, 9:14 am

You don’t deserve the Black Dog, Amity.



Amity
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09 Aug 2019, 11:27 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
You don’t deserve the Black Dog, Amity.

Thank you Mr Kortie :)



ltcvnzl
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09 Aug 2019, 11:27 pm

-10

I had this awful headache for the whole day
I'm sad because life is pointless
Nothing I tried to do today went well
I don't want to work on my final project for university, I had to contact my professor but I feel ashamed and demotivated
My ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend and I wish I could have some distance from him but I still love him and he is my only friend
I keep having suicide thoughts
I can't have a normal sleep rhtyhm
My house is messed up
My hormones are so weird and there are a lot of thick and sparse hair growing on my chin it's so ugly, I'm trying to pluck them but they are getting more and more often... I'm not exactly pretty but gosh image being a girl with a beard
I weirdly miss the city I used to live although when I was there I felt I was unhappy
I keep having nightmares over being called racist and I feel afraid of applying to jobs because I feel people will know someone from that course even if that doesn't make sense
I never was special to anyone, and I think I won't ever be



funeralxempire
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09 Aug 2019, 11:41 pm

ltcvnzl wrote:
-10

I had this awful headache for the whole day
I'm sad because life is pointless
Nothing I tried to do today went well
I don't want to work on my final project for university, I had to contact my professor but I feel ashamed and demotivated
My ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend and I wish I could have some distance from him but I still love him and he is my only friend
I keep having suicide thoughts
I can't have a normal sleep rhtyhm
My house is messed up
My hormones are so weird and there are a lot of thick and sparse hair growing on my chin it's so ugly, I'm trying to pluck them but they are getting more and more often... I'm not exactly pretty but gosh image being a girl with a beard
I weirdly miss the city I used to live although when I was there I felt I was unhappy
I keep having nightmares over being called racist and I feel afraid of applying to jobs because I feel people will know someone from that course even if that doesn't make sense
I never was special to anyone, and I think I won't ever be


At least he's still there (for now). When my ex and I broke up I lost my only friend as a result.


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ltcvnzl
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10 Aug 2019, 12:02 am

funeralxempire wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
-10

I had this awful headache for the whole day
I'm sad because life is pointless
Nothing I tried to do today went well
I don't want to work on my final project for university, I had to contact my professor but I feel ashamed and demotivated
My ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend and I wish I could have some distance from him but I still love him and he is my only friend
I keep having suicide thoughts
I can't have a normal sleep rhtyhm
My house is messed up
My hormones are so weird and there are a lot of thick and sparse hair growing on my chin it's so ugly, I'm trying to pluck them but they are getting more and more often... I'm not exactly pretty but gosh image being a girl with a beard
I weirdly miss the city I used to live although when I was there I felt I was unhappy
I keep having nightmares over being called racist and I feel afraid of applying to jobs because I feel people will know someone from that course even if that doesn't make sense
I never was special to anyone, and I think I won't ever be


At least he's still there (for now). When my ex and I broke up I lost my only friend as a result.


I'm sure it was sad when it happened, but isn't it better on long haul?
We broke up in mid 2016, not sure exactly when because it was everything complicated - we've stayed together for less than half year, he already had other girlfriend meanwhile and broke up. I love him so much, but he doesn't love me as a girlfriend and he never did. I can't imagine my life without him because he is my only emotional support and he is a beautiful person but this hurts me so much. I live in fear that he will get in a long lasting realtionship and all my hopes of us returning will be crushed. I love his friendship too but I still dream of having him as a boyfriend.



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10 Aug 2019, 12:14 am

A little angry...not sure what my country is anymore.

I mean to me mass arresting a bunch of people who have not committed violent crimes and leaving their children essentially abandoned is not ok with me. Yeah maybe I am a bleeding heart liberal but at least I still have my humanity. I can see Trumps immigration solution is not useful and only causes damage

When did society become ok with our government essentially kidnapping kids from their parents?


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10 Aug 2019, 12:18 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
A little angry...not sure what my country is anymore.

I mean to me mass arresting a bunch of people who have not committed violent crimes and leaving their children essentially abandoned is not ok with me. Yeah maybe I am a bleeding heart liberal but at least I still have my humanity. I can see Trumps immigration solution is not useful and only causes damage

When did society become ok with our government essentially kidnapping kids from their parents?


It makes me sick. The thought of how scared and upset those kids were just completely guts me.
This system of abuse towards the kids in the detention centers and how parents had their children ripped from their arms and then had no idea where their kids were... It kills me. I can't stand it. I hate living in such a horrible place.

And I saw that there was someone detained at a local Walmart here because of a shooting threat and it just makes me want to implode and never exist. And my kids start school on Monday. I am freaking the f**k out. I can't handle any of this and I'm angry I have to.


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10 Aug 2019, 1:15 am

i have to resist the urge to succumb to the wish that a giant killer asteroid comes along and ends this failed experiment.



Archmage Arcane
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10 Aug 2019, 1:20 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
A little angry...not sure what my country is anymore.

I mean to me mass arresting a bunch of people who have not committed violent crimes and leaving their children essentially abandoned is not ok with me. Yeah maybe I am a bleeding heart liberal but at least I still have my humanity. I can see Trumps immigration solution is not useful and only causes damage

When did society become ok with our government essentially kidnapping kids from their parents?


If you're revolted by that, you're an American. I'm not quite sure what that makes those rounding up harmless people trying to live their lives. Let's see... Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck... uh-oh, steps like a goose. Disgusting. Getting tired of waiting for a majority of people to have had enough and get into the streets. Regime change begins at home.

/rant



caThar4G
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11 Aug 2019, 1:05 am

-10
A lot happening.
A lot of abandonment.
Hurt.



auntblabby
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11 Aug 2019, 2:09 am

by and large, it is quite a tall order for the lions' share of humans to be trustworthy.



caThar4G
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11 Aug 2019, 2:15 am

auntblabby wrote:
by and large, it is quite a tall order for the lions' share of humans to be trustworthy.


Lion?



auntblabby
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11 Aug 2019, 2:17 am

caThar4G wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
by and large, it is quite a tall order for the lions' share of humans to be trustworthy.


Lion?

an old expression which means "the majority."