scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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dragonsanddemons
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09 Oct 2019, 6:20 pm

-8

Feeling like a burden again due to my mom not reacting positively at all when I mentioned that I was going to try to focus on being happy with what I have rather than focusing on what I don't have. I feel like she doesn't want to tell me but wants me out of the house sooner rather than later.

Hating that I have to depend on others for so much. Also hating that in order to get the help I need to be able to not live at home, I apparently need to get a good-paying job (which might disqualify me, but is the only way I'd be able to afford it), age 50 years, or move to another state. Stuck in that area where I'm not disabled enough to get help, but am too disabled to get by without it. Stuck in a rut without sight of a way out.

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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"

Edna3362
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10 Oct 2019, 6:54 am

Which ever scale it is, it doesn't make sense anymore.

So I let my mentor get a psychic and read my aura... Mostly for curiosity's sake.
And whenever the psychic had an intent on reading my aura, he or she gets giggles. :lol: The psychic became too happy to proceed.

Just what does that side of me is on, really?!
Or maybe not, maybe that's all that other side of me ever knew; love and bliss.

But this is more like mirth than bliss though! While I understand that I have a lot of intrusive thoughts that happened to be funny and mischievous...
So, why mirth? :twisted:

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The Grand Inquisitor
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10 Oct 2019, 7:19 am

-6. Not feeling very optimistic.

Marknis
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10 Oct 2019, 1:17 pm

-10

No girlfriend or wife, no consistent social circle, nothing to show for when it comes to hobbies, no college degree, and haven’t traveled abroad.

Mountain Goat
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10 Oct 2019, 1:19 pm

Marknis wrote:

-10

No girlfriend or wife, no consistent social circle, nothing to show for when it comes to hobbies, no college degree, and haven’t traveled abroad.

Shall in introduce you to model trains?

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AquaineBay
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10 Oct 2019, 3:39 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:

I'm sorry Dragons, I don't know what to say.
All I have is a hug ((((D&D)))).
What was her reaction? Was it like just a look of disappointment or did she do more?

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dragonsanddemons
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10 Oct 2019, 3:49 pm

AquaineBay wrote:

dragonsanddemons wrote:

I'm sorry Dragons, I don't know what to say.
All I have is a hug ((((D&D)))).
What was her reaction? Was it like just a look of disappointment or did she do more?

She said I should keep focusing on trying to become independent ASAP, pretty much. Even though I explained that I wasn't giving up on that, she wanted to make absolutely sure that's where my focus still is.

cathylynn
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10 Oct 2019, 4:40 pm

5 - slow but sure progress on my school assignments. hubby still kicking, leukemia and all.

sly279
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10 Oct 2019, 4:58 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:

sly279 wrote:

-15 my life is horrible and pointless

“Ge well you should get a gf then”

Oh well I’d never thought if that my whole 31 years of living. Guess I’ll go down to the local gf store and pick one up. :roll:

Life comes so easy for NT’s they just assume it’s easy for me to do it too. I’ve been trying for most my life but I’m not good enough and becoming less so every year I get older. Most my age have a well paid job, own a house and multiple cars. That’s the expectation for men to be eatable.

I dont know why I bother here either.

Sly. You ARE good enough. You just need to see it for yourself. Sly. I am one who has struggled to find a girlfriend. However, I realize that it is both a matter of Gods timing, and also a matter of finding just the right one.
Some people both on and off the spectrum (As we are all different characters) seem to find it easy to get themselves a girlfriend or boyfriend. It's just how they are. The majority tend to be extroverts... I tend to just "Stumble across" a girlfriend somehow. I don't really know how as I didn't plan this. I was in my mid 30's when I first had a girlfriend. She asked me out.

What I am saying is, do not give up hope and relax. I hope all works out for you!

Had aspie lady at work tell me her plans then ask what my future is and I just said I don’t have a future. Cause I don’t.

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kraftiekortie
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10 Oct 2019, 5:04 pm

How old is the Aspie lady?

IsabellaLinton
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10 Oct 2019, 5:12 pm

sly279 wrote:

Had aspie lady at work tell me her plans then ask what my future is and I just said I don’t have a future. Cause I don’t.

My ASD assessment doctor asked me to describe my plans or goals for the future, and I said the same thing as you. I have no plans or goals. That doesn't mean I hate my life; I just take it day by day without trying to preplan or feel pressure.

I hope you can feel the same sense of comfort, knowing that day by day is OK. You don't need to have all the answers as your life unfolds.

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Marknis
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10 Oct 2019, 5:20 pm

-10

I hate the bitter older women I work with. They make my job miserable.

IsabellaLinton wrote:

I’ve actually been told I don’t have time to figure out my life anymore since I am 31 but don’t have a college degree or a career. I have to figure out something or else I am going to wake up as an old man and still be miserable.

IsabellaLinton
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10 Oct 2019, 5:31 pm

Marknis wrote:

-10

I hate the bitter older women I work with. They make my job miserable.

IsabellaLinton wrote:

I'm sorry you feel that way. Maybe this is true. Maybe you won't meet anyone and you won't complete a college degree. Maybe it's not true and you will achieve those things. I just hope that either way, when you wake up as an old man you will be content with your life, and with the person you have been. It seems like you enjoyed that concert last week and I know there are things you like to do which make you happy. Seek those things from day to day, even if you feel that the future as a whole is too big to plan or control.

Hugs, Marknis.

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sly279
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10 Oct 2019, 6:50 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Had aspie lady at work tell me her plans then ask what my future is and I just said I don’t have a future. Cause I don’t.

I have no future as in I won’t be getting a career, I won’t ever have a relationship, so that als means no family. I won’t have friends.
So my life as it is today is same as it was 10 years ago and it’ll be the same 10 years from now. I’ll be working the same crap job and playing video games. That’s all my life is I have no future no point in living.
If i died tomorrow it wouldn’t matter

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sly279
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10 Oct 2019, 6:51 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

How old is the Aspie lady?

My age or few years younger. She’s already married with 2-4 kids.
Life seems to work out more for aspie women then aspie men.

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IsabellaLinton
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10 Oct 2019, 6:52 pm

sly279 wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

How old is the Aspie lady?

My age or few years younger. She’s already married with 2-4 kids.
Life seems to work out more for aspie women then aspie men.

Being your age with 2-4 children and a husband sounds like pure hell to me, to be honest (lol).

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