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03 Nov 2019, 4:22 pm
Jakki wrote:
la_fenkis wrote:
NaN (Not A Number)
My best friend crushed me into emotional emptiness. My mom died a few days after that on Wednesday. Friday was my birthday, the best part of which was obtaining a mote of weed from my cousin and the subsequent euphoric haze. Work and school are jokes made cruel by so many things I don't care to get into debates about with anyone.
I'm not made for this human built world. I don't think anyone is but somehow people contort themselves into shapes that can mostly survive in it (while suffering various degrees of psychological death in the process most assuredly, but they would never cop to that given how it would beach the closure and reintroduce despair to an otherwise "stay state").
It's no wonder that in a world increasingly organized around financially organized endeavors that community would become compartmentalized, shallow, and fluid as a response.
Maybe it doesn't make sense. The pictures I have of it all in my head work but I'm increasingly believing I can't do justice in words. And even if I could, I wouldn't engender an understanding that's convergent with my own, but just an endless discussion among others that converges on some formalized, ritualistic, dogmatic understanding that winds up excluding.
Maybe I could get farther in life if instead of trying so much to "do" in it I did what I was good at and ponder, and surround myself with people that made products of the ponderings and kept me alive through it all.
My best friend crushed me into emotional emptiness. My mom died a few days after that on Wednesday. Friday was my birthday, the best part of which was obtaining a mote of weed from my cousin and the subsequent euphoric haze. Work and school are jokes made cruel by so many things I don't care to get into debates about with anyone.
I'm not made for this human built world. I don't think anyone is but somehow people contort themselves into shapes that can mostly survive in it (while suffering various degrees of psychological death in the process most assuredly, but they would never cop to that given how it would beach the closure and reintroduce despair to an otherwise "stay state").
It's no wonder that in a world increasingly organized around financially organized endeavors that community would become compartmentalized, shallow, and fluid as a response.
Maybe it doesn't make sense. The pictures I have of it all in my head work but I'm increasingly believing I can't do justice in words. And even if I could, I wouldn't engender an understanding that's convergent with my own, but just an endless discussion among others that converges on some formalized, ritualistic, dogmatic understanding that winds up excluding.
Maybe I could get farther in life if instead of trying so much to "do" in it I did what I was good at and ponder, and surround myself with people that made products of the ponderings and kept me alive through it all.
Wow .. la_fenkis sounds like we has stumbled into similair appearing holes.been attempting to apply , my sense of humour , to the hole in my sinking ship ..???
it just don't fill the hole it would appear .Very sorry on those events !
03 Nov 2019, 4:55 pm
03 Nov 2019, 8:24 pm
03 Nov 2019, 10:28 pm
03 Nov 2019, 11:17 pm
Family’s falling apart I’m going be homless.
Both mom and sister plan to kill them selves 
I’ll probably too my life already depresses me to be homless and lost all my family and people who a knowledge I exist will be too much.
03 Nov 2019, 11:56 pm
sly279 wrote:
Family’s falling apart I’m going be homless.
Both mom and sister plan to kill them selves
I’ll probably too my life already depresses me to be homless and lost all my family and people who a knowledge I exist will be too much.
Both mom and sister plan to kill them selves
I’ll probably too my life already depresses me to be homless and lost all my family and people who a knowledge I exist will be too much.
can you point them in the direction of help and support?
04 Nov 2019, 12:54 am
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Family’s falling apart I’m going be homless.
Both mom and sister plan to kill them selves
I’ll probably too my life already depresses me to be homless and lost all my family and people who a knowledge I exist will be too much.
Both mom and sister plan to kill them selves
I’ll probably too my life already depresses me to be homless and lost all my family and people who a knowledge I exist will be too much.
can you point them in the direction of help and support?
Mom won’t go got family therapy since they side with us cause it’s. It ok to hit people and not ok to compare people to their rapist.
Sister won’t get help cause she thinks they take her dogs away and that’s only reason she keeps living.
It doesn’t seem healthy or safe to keep living with mom the emotional abuse and blackmail combined with being hit is too much.
04 Nov 2019, 6:08 am
04 Nov 2019, 6:44 am
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Family’s falling apart I’m going be homless.
Both mom and sister plan to kill them selves
I’ll probably too my life already depresses me to be homless and lost all my family and people who a knowledge I exist will be too much.
Both mom and sister plan to kill them selves
I’ll probably too my life already depresses me to be homless and lost all my family and people who a knowledge I exist will be too much.
can you point them in the direction of help and support?
Mom won’t go got family therapy since they side with us cause it’s. It ok to hit people and not ok to compare people to their rapist.
Sister won’t get help cause she thinks they take her dogs away and that’s only reason she keeps living.
It doesn’t seem healthy or safe to keep living with mom the emotional abuse and blackmail combined with being hit is too much.
This is really a aweful situation to Be in , go through .
Hope somehow , someway , you can pull through.......
Seems of little meaning comparitively , but a hug is offered .
04 Nov 2019, 6:45 am
Fireblossom wrote:
4... I'm anxious since I've messed up my diet a little the passing week; it's been too onesided. Logically thinking it's no big deal, it's just one week or so, but it annoys me since I've been able to keep it in check for quite a while.
Also I have a date tomorrow and it's my first date with that particular guy, we haven't met face to face yet and it takes about three hours to get to our meeting point so that also makes me anxious... I hope it'll be fun, if for nothing else then because I'll have to sit in the bus for so long. But if he ends up ditching me or cutting the date short then I'm going shopping! I refuse to have such a long bus drive and get nothing out of it. There's this Japanese food store near our meeting place, so if I blow this up I'm gonna head there...
Also I have a date tomorrow and it's my first date with that particular guy, we haven't met face to face yet and it takes about three hours to get to our meeting point so that also makes me anxious... I hope it'll be fun, if for nothing else then because I'll have to sit in the bus for so long. But if he ends up ditching me or cutting the date short then I'm going shopping! I refuse to have such a long bus drive and get nothing out of it. There's this Japanese food store near our meeting place, so if I blow this up I'm gonna head there...
Enjoy either way as best you can ...
04 Nov 2019, 10:59 am
04 Nov 2019, 11:03 am
04 Nov 2019, 11:07 am
04 Nov 2019, 11:09 am
04 Nov 2019, 12:17 pm
04 Nov 2019, 12:22 pm
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