just-me wrote:
. . . The nice therapist i will be seeing is aspie friendly. that's why i picked her. i used to see her a while back and i know she is nice and friendly. . .
First off, a belated congrats on helping with your friend's wedding. That sounds kind of cool!
And this part about seeing the good therapist again, that sounds real good.
Now for me, sometimes after an occasion of dealing with a person who is mean, hostile, stupid, basically after dealing with a person so visibly destructive, it bothers me that people like this even exist in the world! They do of course, probably about 10 to 20% of the population (maybe less). All I can do is try and associate with constructive people, and build a better world there, and maybe pull along some of the formerly not-so-constructive people, if they so choose, but the choice is theirs.
Okay, and in the weeks after the negative interaction, I can sometimes make two mistakes. One, I can be too guarded and sometimes don't give a new or formerly helpful person enough of a chance. Two, I can reveal too much all at once, can download this tremendous amount of material onto the helpful person. This is my mode of all-sending, no-receiving.
So, the solution clearly is medium steps. Somewhere in that broad middle range, reveal a medium amount of information and see if the person ping-pongs it back. And they don't need to understand all of it all at once. Regular, quick conversation (quick for me), and over time a person will understand more and more. And as long as someone is making forward progress in understanding me, and they're trying and pulling for me, I guess I shouldn't be that picky. And if someone largely understands where I'm coming from, that is probably good enough.
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I am a human being! 'Perfection' is not a requirement
08 May 2010, 12:22 am
