Do you find that conversing with people on WP...

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*thanks & yes.

I tend to view WP as kind of a stepping stone to opening up in other areas in my life. It's not so much about social interaction but about trying to be more comfortable expressing myself in a supportive venue. This website has helped me more than a line up of therapists ever did (of course, they didn't do a damn thing for me).
I don't think of this as pointless or useless, but doing what you can with the tools in the toolbox. We may be a little short handed in some areas, but I don't see any shame in compensating. It's just about getting by.

bite me!

Okay Grandpa... don't make fun of the people because you have the false set...
Time to take your pills. =]

I do. The experience of learning about the condition from other people's experiences and interactions is positive. Realizing that even a group of people that i would expect to understand me most readily don't seem to take to me...just as everybody I have ever interacted with doesn't take to me...well, that just leaves me a little sad. I guess my expectations were based on nonsense...but knowing that does not diminish the sense of disappointment I carry. So yes, ultimately I feel more alone, and for me an even bigger freak, after hanging out on WP...

Such is life.

hey you know what? you are a lucky basterd.

Last edited by Maje on 10 May 2012, 5:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I feel that way because I always feel so misunderstood by all of the people in my tiny little village, my family, and my parents and stuff. /teenagecrying

I entirely agree and sympathize (at least to the degree that my Autism will allow me!), but I disagree that our words are useless and pointless. Depressing as it may feel that many of us here may lack the degree of strong friendships or interpersonal relationships, many of us make up for it by cutting out the gauzy, impermeable filter that is verbal, face-to-face communication and translating our thoughts to text. The method of communication shouldn't matter, but the thoughts, intentions, ideas, and feelings evoked should.

I have two very good offline friends (and my parents) whose company I enjoy very much but for all other interactions I prefer the internet over face-to-face because
I'm better at expressing myself in writing, than speaking ( I assume most of us here are...)
it's hard to find people that make me feel understood - or even share my interests
and interacting socially is just so incredibly exhausting for me. Just going outside demands for mental preparation and a good reason, so I avoid doing that as much as possible. I'm not good at spontaneous things and face-to-face interaction always demands spontaneity - if it is just "hey, let's meet for a cup of coffee in an hour!"

I found my third good friend in an online community (Final Fantasy XI, to be precise) and she even came all the way from California to visit me in England. (which then resulted in exhausting personal interaction but I'm still very happy I got to meet her)
Forum posts are one thing - too public, really, more like communicating via small ads in a newspaper - but when I'm chatting with someone I don't really feel a distance. On the contrary, I'm more relaxed and at ease than when I'd be actually talking to the same person so I guess I'm more "myself" (whatever that is) rather than covered up by a blanket of explicitly learned and trained social interaction patterns. So seen this way, internet interaction is more "genuine" to me. At least I am more genuine...

I assume the people here are just as different in character as anywhere else - we just share certain peculiarities, but even there: AS is such a diverse condition, it'd probably be hard to find someone with exactly the same difficulties. And two blind people are not necessarily supposed to get along with each other, just because they share their disability, why should that be the case here? (on a personal level, I mean)
I expected to be accepted here, and probably feel I can relate to many things that are being said, but I don't think finding friends will be easier here than anywhere else.

Sorry, not very encouraging, I suspect.

Right, this will be a multi-quote post as I've a lot to get through. There will probably be another post after this one as well, with even more quoted posts:

That's exactly what it is. And it's what I was trying to get at before - in that it's a community, yes, but you rarely intimately know the people behind the usernames. You can't go out for a drink with them (mostly), or actually do things together. It's as though we are all in long-distanced friendships rather than just being people we can get in the car/get the bus to and go and see.



I tend to be a bit more lax on this policy than you are, I think. As can be evinced by a lot of the nonsense I post!



I think it's definitely worse though when you start a quite lengthy thread with a well-thought out original post and it goes completely unremarked upon. Wouldn't you agree? Not that I tend to make many of those, of course.



You shouldn't feel like a failure, love. You really shouldn't. You're not a failure there. Stop that!



Not that many people do - me included. It's not easy, granted.



I must say that this is a trait I also share, although of course I'm much younger than you. I think it's probably to do with the way that I haven't lived an independent life yet. I still feel like a man-child in some respects.



Don't feel guilty - you were (and are) a pleasure to read and respond to!



Ignore him. He didn't even have the courtesy to host the photo somewhere else, in essence stealing the bandwidth of the original imagehosts. Simply don't give people like that ammunition. Anyway, he comes from Derry, so it kind of evens out I find.



How do you feel today, mntn13?



You can have a hug from me if you like. I've had a wash today and put some deodorant on, although I haven't had a shave so I might be a bit prickly! I don't charge for hugs either.



Take a white stick with you. No-one will question you then. It worked for me... until I bent the sodding stick, that is!



Yup...

And...



Get in touch with me and turn off before you get that far, OK?

Are you sure other people understand each other and sure you need to be understood?
hehe tricky

I don't feel extra depressed - don't be silly. If I was, I'm not sure I'd come here. (And also, if I was, I wouldn't have been able to deflect ZX_SpectrumDisorder's violin jibe so easily.) I just feel a little bit lonely, that's all.



I also post in this part of the forum less than I used to.



Probably because it feels like it's all going round and round in your head, and bringing other people into your problems as well?



I try to do the same as well. Like posting lots of my photos all over the damn place, for example.



I do agree. It does feel quite dull and repetitive here, as well as being quite quiet.



What are your hobbies? I need to look them up.



True, but on here is so, so different from doing it in real life, where things are, er, less controlled if that makes sense. Do you have access to an autism support group or something similar, or a supportive group of friends, where you reside?



And, yes, I guess it's safer experimenting here than doing it out in the 'real world', as it were.



I think it's somewhat different for me because I've always known that I've had Asperger's (and some of the other co-morbid conditions that go along with it). So it's good for me to be among people who are 'like' me (although you all of course are not like me; we just share similar traits, is all) but it's not the same as actually being with people outside of my family in real life.



Would it help for you to have lots of WPers that you could actually hang out with in real life or not? Rather than us just being words on a computer screen?



You should probably consider yourself quite lucky then.



Perhaps. What I probably really meant was that I'm lonely and should probably get laid at some point.



Most definitely. I can be quite poor face-to-face and can sometimes just shut down (or, worse, become obsessive - this is a particular problem when I've had a couple of drinks inside me). Not good.



What are your interests? Have you looked in detail on this board? I'm sure there might be one or two people hanging around that might share some of them. A lot of the time, life is about compromise after all.



Join the club! I can do it, but I have to prepare myself for it and it often throws me when it's spontaneous.



Can you do things like, for example, going to the supermarket on your own? And not need a lengthy period of downtime afterwards?



Yes, I understand where you're coming from.



Bloody hell - that must have been quite a friendship!



This is very true. Very, very true.

I've been making some friends, but I kinda feel in free fall trying to navigate relationships.

Oh, I meant offline. The internet offers a means to find someone for any kind of interest. I wouldn't know what to do without the internet...



I can go on my own but it's still stress. I usually don't really need downtime because just coming home closing the door behind me does a lot to make me feel better.
And by the time I unpacked everything in its proper place I feel good again. Cleaning up has a calming effect on me.




It is!
Come to think of it, I met the other two friends on the internet first, too. They just lived a little closer to me than 9400 km; that makes meeting a little easier.
For some reason I never meet people I like first in RL, or I'm too preoccupied with the whole social stuff to notice them. I tried to approach someone twice in my life and it was... not the result I had anticipated... Ah well, no one can say I never tried. I prefer developing my internet friendships to rl friendships.

That being said, I can relate somewhat to feeling lonely, I just don't do that very often. Then it's more that I wish I was home with my mum being downstairs or so, but it's not necessarily company I miss. Just... home. I have to admit, if I feel like that I listen to melancholical classical music and hug my favourite stuffed animals until it goes away. Or I do somthing that demands so much concentration that I forget about it. Drawing, playing piano... cleaning the kitchen sometimes helps, too.

I draw and paint, but I spend much more time thinking about it than actually doing it.

I take to you, you're a good egg! *hugs*

Haha...thanks kjas

I strongly suspect my feeling of disconnection and self-perception of being generally unappealing to know are my problems and nobody else's. I'm sorry if anybody felt like my comment was a judgement on the community in any way.

Guy