My van and my uncle and stuff.

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So maybe for the next year I might just eat candy bars and/or Taco Bell or something. I can't cook like f*****g ever. Wake up in the morning at 11ish to go to work at 1, oh look, can't make breakfast because my uncle's making lunch. Wake up in the morning morning, oh look, uncle is making his breakfast. Get home from work at 5 or so, can't make something to eat.

Or maybe I'll have to just move all my s**t to my bedroom and in true hikikomori fashion, set my room up as a small as hell Japanese apartment and have it smell like food all the time and never invite anyone over because it smells like garlic and there's no ventilation system.

I talked to my mom about when they were gonna leave and she said "Oh, they're just getting settled." THE f**k?! My uncle apparently does have a couple hundred dollar a week computer job. However, my mom says "I don't know if he's capable of working a real job." Well I'm not either. I had to drink like 3 cups of coffee just to not f*****g explode from doing my BS f*****g driving. I was down to 1 without work. When real work comes I'm assuming it'll be like 10. And his wife had a nervous breakdown. Well, guess what, you're not f*****g 10 anymore. Nobody gives a s**t how you feel.

I f*****g hate them. I f*****g hate them.

My cats are probably going to die because his cat probably has distemper because it was an outdoor cat with no shots. When he was over when I was a kid like this, this happened too. They probably have distemper. My favorite cat when I was a kid died from it because he brought his cats over. And now my favorite cat now may die from it, too. I feel bad now about all the times I wouldn't let her in my room because I needed to sleep or I'd get fleas or something. Now she might be gone forever.

And it's all because of my uncle.

I wonder if I should hit up a licquor store or something. I don't even drink. Maybe I should start.

Well my cat might be turning around. She got up to drink water and did apparently eat. I tried putting some vitamin C and a bit of astragalus in her food. Maybe that'll help her. I'm not sure. But she got up. She felt really skinny though, and had like no energy. Didn't even close her eyes when I petted her. My other cat is even weaker, she might fare even worse.

Ugh.

So I wonder if I should buy more stimulant type stuff or sedatives. Or both. I'm now taking sleeping pills so I can sleep after drinking too much coffee through the day/night.

Are you blogging any of this?

Diphenhydramine 25mg (Benadryl, Unisom, Nytol, Sominex) in a box of 36 tablets for $.88 at Walmart, versus 1 lb. of coffee for $10. You only need about 3 pills to zonk you. OR just go to the county doctor and get Seroquel for free, only don't plan on being anywhere for 2 days after taking it

this sure was a mis-leading topic title

I feel like I can't leave my room anymore. I can't really do much cooking anymore. Maybe my uncle wasn't trying to be friendly and was just trying to be a dick by saying "you sure do a lot of cooking." to me. He's cooking during when I'd have breakfast, lunch, or dinner normally. So my meal times are all f****d up.

I don't know what to do, I used to have a small fridge in my room, I found it in the trash and it worked. My mom took it over when she was sick, though. Now it's dirty anyway. So just like prison I only have one room to live in, in my own house. I guess it's good I didn't plant anything really this year, as I guess now my only option is leaving this house.

My uncle probably has lower chances of survival on his own than I do due to not having adapted to his Aspergers, or rather not being forced to. Just a super intellectual special snowflake he is. I'm guessing he's going to be here for literally years. My mom even talked upon his arrival of buying the house across the street and living in it and letting them live in this house. OK, that's practical. My uncle also refuses state assistance of any kind, which is great, but Rush Limbaugh and Ayn Rand won't give you any money. It's one thing to use state programs as intended vs abusing them. His fully autistic son could have been on SSI. Hell, he might have gotten SSI for AS. When they die, I don't know what's going to happen to their son. I'm not one for doing much "training" or "therapy" or what have you, but even their "NT" daughter is extremely abnormal due to having almost no other human contact/never going out. Their son is probably going to be institutionalized whenever my uncle or aunt die, unless his sister takes care of him forever.

Anyway, I have a hot water heater, coffee maker, small and big crockpot and food processor. I need a burner or hot plate. I might be able to take the fridge back but the freezer is broken in it anyway. Maybe call up some hotels and ask if they got any fridges they're getting rid of first paycheck. I don't really wanna cook in my room, though, the ventilation here isn't good. If I have a plate of pasta with garlic on it, and leave the plate in my room an hour, the room smells strongly like garlic. I think this is my only option. Lock myself in my room. The only place where I'm not invaded by others. My sister spends most of her time with her friends now. But I don't have many friends anymore, and I burden my friends too much if I spend too much time with them (I found this out...) Also it costs driving. My sister doesn't drive, but her friends do, whereas I'd likely have to drive to my friend's places. I wanna see other people now, to get away from my crazy f*****g house, but I feel like my negativity is now worse than ever, and nobody wants to be around a negative person. I also don't want people constantly asking me "What's wrong?" or "How are you doing?" and saying "Good." and lying.

Everything feels almost exactly the same as the last time they were staying here. Terrible. Just like last time, I'm locking myself in the room. Same as 11 year old me. I feel bad for feeling bad and being bitter and spiteful as all hell. It's already stressful because I'm starting a new job, and now this s**t at the same time, I'm going a bit nuts. Every summer things go to complete utter s**t.

So I guess I'll update. My cats are fine. Thank God for that at least.

I'm probably going to hell for not forgiving. I guess that's what's gonna happen.

They're bitching my water is too chlorinated. Well tough f*****g s**t. I brought this up with my mom and I can't get her to buy replacement water filters but she'll buy like $30 a month in bottled water. Also my uncle says water filters don't remove chlorine. Yeah they do. They won't remove anything else mind you, but they'll remove chlorine. If he hates it so much he can dig a damned well or go down to the river.

Nobody f*****g cares how you feel.

Your wife had a nervous breakdown?

I had a nervous breakdown last time your family stayed at my house.

Nobody cared how I felt.

Even at work now, I could barely keep up with it all because of all this s**t. I'll probably break down now due to those f*****s and lose my one good job I've ever had.

Anyway, besides this, my mom has this grand idea of basically buying them and my aunt a house. Or them getting our current house and us getting an apartment. Huh wha? This is f*****g bizarro land.

I'm gonna make a separate post about being ashamed of half of my genetic lineage.

They ate my chicken tenders my mom bought for me. I'm quite sure she specifically told them one was for me. Just like she specifically told them to use the dishwashing fluid under the sink and instead they used regular dish soap and we/they (my mom is washing dishes in the bathroom sink like you'd do in a damned jail cell...) had dirty as hell dishes for like...whatever amount of time they've been here before like 3-4 days ago.

Seriously, I've been eating pasta and BS like that since that since they got here. Not that I need the 200g protein a day or whatever the f**k BS magazines say, but I do think I'm deserving of a bit more protein than people who literally spend the entire day sitting at the computer playing computer games.

I recall you mentioned GABA inhibitors, you might try Lion's Tail tea (otherwise known as Wild Daga), it's a south African herb that's extremely fast-acting in this regard. Only thing in my entire life, books included, that made me spend a couple hours in a hammock.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Careful though! It brews a very strong tea, especially if not strained. You'll want to add honey or agave syrup.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos