I lost my dog today.

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I think that's a great idea, and your family will always have those photos. She was a unique dog - you were so lucky to have her, and vice versa. I've already written before (on some previous post), but a few years ago I moved to another town, driving about 400 miles north with cardboard boxes to my new place (as yet unseen). With me was my very best friend, my borzoi. He loved to ride in the car, but during this trip he was really subdued, mostly sleeping in the seat next to me. We arrived at the new place late in the afternoon. Setting up 'our' sleeping bag, he went to bed early. The next morning I knew there was something drastically wrong - - Max was dying. In tears, I could not carry him to my car. A new neighbour helped me. I had no idea where a veterinary office was, of course, but I found the closest one. I was crying so hard I could not speak and the vet himself rushed out to my car, carrying Max into the clinic for me. He was dead before noon. I almost fainted in the vet's office, sobbing uncontrollably. He was the nicest vet in the world, and complimented me on what a beautiful borzoi I had.

Anyhow, don't mean for that to be TMI, but just saying that I am really sorry about losing a pet - because they're far more pets, aren't they? Of course you'll always remember her, but somehow, she'll always remember you.

Thank you. Yes they are family, not just pets. She is my child, a tough little baby. I love her very much. I love all my family, non-humans also.

It is not tmi. It helps to know that others have the same love for their non-human family.

Some might not like that sentiment, but I have found articles that provide valid text that clearly show that all animals, not just humans, have the same spirit, the same soul, as humans, and that God cares for them just as deeply, and grieves their demise just as much.

Yes, it's indescribable really. A connection, a friendship, that's just not human. Bonnie would know what we mean.

After my dog died about 6 months later I had a dream of him in which he was free, up very high in some pretty valleys in the mountains. He had transformed from his familiar earthly body to a different sort of energy or substance - though he looked the same - and he was really happy. Whether this was my mind creating this or whether it has some truth to it, doesn't matter to me. I was overjoyed to see him again, he existed, was doing what he wanted. Maybe the dogs who have passed on go on to play somewhere out there.

I am so sorry for you loss.
Go to this website, https://www.facebook.com/rainbowbridgecelebration. I hope it helps, hugs.

I hope the dream was a message to you.

Today, while driving, I had a brief glimpse or flash of what some would call a vision, accompanied by an extreme awareness of Bonnie coupled with a sudden sense of peace and joy. Some would call it delusional, but I hope that it is a message from Bonnie and not just grief induced something or other. The glimps I saw might have been what Bonnie had looked like as a puppy.

I don't know if the Facebook link would work for me. I don't use Facebook because I don't like their mission to broadcast every action of one's every moment in life, farts and mistakes included. I Tapped the link and it went straight to a Facebook page.

I have set up the blog: Unconditional Love. The Life of Bonnie, The Boxer.

I don't know how frequently I will be able to post on it but I will probably be posting frequently at first. I hope I can keep it going long term and make a good work of it. I hope to keep her alive and thriving long after my time is over.

The second post on the blog is up, The Final Lesson Begins:, with an actual start of events. I am starting on the night that it happened and then will try to use "flash backs" to share the story of her life.

I don't know if taking this approach is a good idea or not. It shares what I believe happened based on the evidence I found, in the yard, and in the road, and from the sounds the rest of the family recalls. It also makes it difficult for me to let go of the grief, but I am trying overcome the grief by remembering the good and I want to try to show that effort in the telling of her story.

The third installment is on the blog:

Labeled:
The Discovery that Crushed The Heart.
Linked above.

I think it is helping. It hurts to relive the experience but putting it into words, providing the details of the happenings in dramatic text, it is also causing me to view the experience from other perspectives also.

I hope I can continue this and see it all the way through. I want to honor her the best I can and I don't know what else I can do.

I've started a thread in the art and writing sub forum where I will post the links to the updates to the blog, since the haven is more for comfort and discussion, and the blog, even though it's turning out to be therapeutic, is mostly oriented on writing, and the comments and discussions for it would be mostly technique, interest factor, style, grammar, etc.

I hope it maintains enough interest to garner some comments or suggestions. I would love to be able to memorialize her memory with this someway but I am not sure how I would do that.

I don't want her to fade into oblivion. I don't want to forget her.

I just finished the 8th installment on the blog. I am still posting the links in the thread I started in the arts and writing sub forum.

Writing about is definitely helps, But I am finding that I am still crying, and still hurting.

My one son, well intentioned, tried to take Bonnie's blanket and put it into one of the other dog's kennel, where they sleep at night. The other dog refused to go into her kennel and so they had to push her in before closing the door for the night. I found out about this the next morning when I took them out to potty. I saw the blanket in her kennel and I was hurt. I still hold this blanket and try to breathe in her scent. Each dog has her own unique scent, just like the cats, and the blanket still has Bonnie's scent on it, though it is starting to become less pronounced.

Carly had pushed the blanket to the side and refused to sleep on it. It was as if she knew this was not her blanket and she is just as unwilling as I am for all this to be real. I took the blanket out and had to coax her back in for feeding (we have to keep her separate from the others during feeding or she won't eat)

I know my son meant well but I am not ready for the blanket to be recycled yet. I also found her bowl missing and got upset over it. I searched and found that it had fallen behind the water heater (we keep their food bowls on the water heater when not in use), but for the moment that I thought they were moving Bonnie's stuff, I was hurt and offended. and I cried of course.

I cried this morning again also. It's not as prolonged as it was before, but the melancholy is just as strong as it was in the beginning. My wife is actually being a big help, We have a white board we keep in the bathroom for notes. One of the children wrote "In remembrance of Bonnie, with much love. Everyone has left it up on the white board, and underneath it, My wife is writing little remembrances of things Bonnie used to do. This is causing people to laugh, myself included.

I don't know how I can be joyful and sad at the same time. It's so confusing. I miss her so much. I am still asking God permission to talk to her and I talk to her off and on. I hope it isn't in vain.

My wife teaches piano near a place that has a dog that looks to be an elderly boxer, not as small as bonnie but small for a boxer still. The poor dog is kept in a kennel in the back yard, and we never see anyone there. They put a huge pile of food and a big bowl of water there at the door of her dog house, which has no bedding or warmth to it at all. Every time we walk by she is happy to see us and begging for attention. She is not built to withstand the freezing winter. But I know animal control will not consider her to be mistreated because she is being fed and has a house to keep the rain off. It breaks my heart to see this poor dog suffering and neglected.

She reminds me of bonnie every time I see her, hungry for love and attention. And I cry each time. I wish I had the money and resources to save them all and find them all good homes.

Still Going through bouts of depression. Saturdays seem to be the worst. Since it was a saturday when it all happened.

I find myself, when giving the other dogs a treat, looking to see if Bonnie is under the coffee table, her favorite hiding spot when she isn't on a chair or couch beside me.

When I am down at the barn I find myself looking up to the head of the driveway to the barn to see if she is sitting there waiting on me or if someone managed to coax her into the house.

I am remembering things better but the loneliness of her not being there is horrendous. My wife and children have been amazingly supportive through all of this. My oldest daughter thinks I am a bit overly mushy about it all, but she has been very good with me as well.

I am also getting depressed about not having a good job that would pay for fencing, house repairs, etc. that everyone here needs. Being a self employed person with no social skills certainly makes things challenging.

I still find myself talking to Bonnie frequently, feeling guilty when I don't, worrying that God will get angry with me when I do. I have never been so conflicted as I am now.

Of course today is the worst because it is a Saturday. I will likely be sleepless for the most of tonight, as I have been in these past Saturdays.

My wife and I have been researching boxers to see what their normal size and dispositions are. We have found several that sound similar to Bonnie, boy's and girls alike. I wish I was rich enough to search and find them all really good, responsible homes. Even the non-boxers. Most of them look so sad and afraid.

Every year, 4 to 9 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year in the united states alone. I hate the thought of legislating everything but I am beginning to think they should have an expensive licensing and screening process required to be a breeder for any kind of animal, and a requirement that any pet be spayed or neutered, as applicable, unless this special license is obtained.

It's sad that we have to consider laws, restrictions, fines and imprisonments because of the irresponsibility of people who think their freedoms are more important than the lives of others.

Duplicate post. Please delete. Thank you.

So sorry for your loss. Bonnie had a good life; the best life a dog can have, with people who care about her.

Your blog is just beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes. It's so hard, I know.

Thank you for reading. I hope it is able to touch others as well. I want to turn it into a positive, hopeful storyline, as that was her life with us, positive, hopeful, and full of love for all of us.

I am struggling with getting a post up today but I should hopefully manage. We lost a close friend yesterday (human), and I don't have many friends other than my wife and children so I will have to "pull up my boot straps" and "plow on" in order to get today's installment done without it being horrible.

Hun im so sorry for your loss she's a beautiful dog. And your blog is a great testament to your love for her and her love for you and your family.

Your strong and you will make it through the other side. My pm is always open if you feel the need to talk

Aspie hugs to you and yours