I was lied to...by another Aspie

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hale_bopp
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18 Feb 2007, 9:44 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

That's the way the internet works. It's not nice, and it's not fair.

I've had this done to me since I was 14, and still do. People don't give reasons because they don't have a back bone. Try and find someone else, if possible, not on the internet.

You'd be better to know them offline too, rather than solely online.

I've cut people off before, but i'm more than happy to provide a reason if they seek one from me.

What upsets me more than that a major promise was broken was that I had limited my dating pool to other Aspies in hopes that I would be immune to such lies and mind games. How wrong I was.

Tim

That's your problem there.

You made an assuption that an aspie would not treat you like that, but aspies are not some superior or compassionate species. They are only human.

Maybe you should try and date a few different people before you limit to yourself to a narrow amount of people, who are just as diverse in good and bad ways as the NT population

Paula
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19 Feb 2007, 12:39 am

When my husband was in the military he had a pen pal....no internet back then. A girl he cooresponded with told him she was in love with him. They wrote love letters back and forth for several weeks. He bought her a ring, they became engaged. He flew out to see her when he was on leave, and she ignored him practically the whole time. She went out with friends leaving him stranded, when they did go site seeing she was very cold towards him. After that, he left, he knew it was over, she finally had the guts to tell him she didn't want to marry him and the relationship was called off. Which of course he knew anyways. I will never understand why she didn't do this before he went to see her. These things happen, I just don't get people. But example here...people are people. Some are NT jerks, some are AS jerks. Thats just the way it is. Anyways, my hubby netted me.But I still think she was just plain awful to do that to him.

Tim_Tex
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19 Feb 2007, 3:40 am

Paula wrote:

I didn't even get an explanation in my case.

Tim

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mikh07
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19 Feb 2007, 4:21 am

Tim_Tex wrote:

For almost a year, I had been corresponding with a young woman who had AS. After a week of instant messaging, she and I became "boyfriend and girlfriend". She even promised to marry me after I finished college.

But two weeks later, she suddenly stopped being online and answering my IMs. I did nothing to provoke this. She just vanished from the online world. It would not be until Labor Day weekend that she was online again. (It was back in April 2006 when she and I were IMing each other regularly). I sent her a reassurance e-mail, but it went unanswered. She would not be online again until a few days ago, and I sent her an IM, but it went without a reply as well.

How could *anyone*, let alone another Aspie, lie to me like that about such issues. How could someone like that string me along, when she probably had something like that done to her in the past? I was thinking "this is Claudia all over again". Claudia was my first girlfriend, and was very emotionally abusive.

I did absolutely nothing to deserve this.

Tim

Maybe she just realized what she said and is scared. I think you should just give her some time. The fact that she hasn't blocked you from her IM is a (good) sign.

I don't think she'd talk to you for about a year and decide to sever communications with the intent of 'hurting' you. I'm not sure where you're getting the idea of she's lying to you either..

BazzaMcKenzie
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19 Feb 2007, 9:19 pm

Paula wrote:

could be going off topic ...
when people meet in one environment (pen-pal, internet, military, office, etc) the relationship is based on that environment and may not necessarily be successful in a different environment. If you meet and like someone on-line, you may not be compatable or even like each other in real life.

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Tim_Tex
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20 Feb 2007, 4:04 am

BazzaMcKenzie wrote:

Paula wrote:

I wouldn't consider this off-topic.

Tim

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Tim_Tex
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24 Feb 2007, 4:22 pm

mikh07 wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

She is still not talking to me. I did not do anything to provoke her into not talking to me.

Tim

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RTSgamerFTW
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24 Feb 2007, 4:37 pm

You shouldn't even bother with her anymore,LOVE is a complete JOKE,my friend.

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Shale
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24 Feb 2007, 10:53 pm

Unknown wrote:

You shouldn't even bother with her anymore,LOVE is a complete JOKE,my friend.

What experience exactly tells you this?

St33med
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24 Feb 2007, 11:08 pm

Shale wrote:

Unknown wrote:

You shouldn't even bother with her anymore,LOVE is a complete JOKE,my friend.

What experience exactly tells you this?

Shale is right. Unknown, it looks like you're either afraid of change or relationships. But whatever happened to you to make this statement?

RTSgamerFTW
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25 Feb 2007, 11:47 am

St33med wrote:

Shale wrote:

Unknown wrote:

You shouldn't even bother with her anymore,LOVE is a complete JOKE,my friend.

What experience exactly tells you this?

Shale is right. Unknown, it looks like you're either afraid of change or relationships. But whatever happened to you to make this statement?

I was bullied a lot for no reason,so i can't trust people.

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Tequila
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25 Feb 2007, 12:53 pm

By bad people, yes. Not everyone is like that. With your vitriol and hatred you will drive people away. Particularly good people. As I said, take the chance to calm down and look to the future.

RTSgamerFTW
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25 Feb 2007, 1:01 pm

Tequila wrote:

By bad people, yes. Not everyone is like that. With your vitriol and hatred you will drive people away. Particularly good people. As I said, take the chance to calm down and look to the future.

....Right now i'm more corncerned with something else,read my new thread.

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Shale
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25 Feb 2007, 4:50 pm

Bro. You're not the only one that was assaulted for no reason. People have me a TERRIBLE time through school (and I'm just a lil NT, lol). It's your ability to man up, pick your balls up off the ground and soldier on that makes the world go round. The people that treat you badly are worthless. Be nice to people and they'll be nice back. Ignore the bastards, they are a waste of your time.

Paula
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25 Feb 2007, 5:07 pm

Well said Shale......a bit blunt, but well said.

Tim_Tex
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25 Feb 2007, 5:49 pm

I still do not feel better about my situation.

Tim

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