This is too sad to read

Post Reply New Topic

I would not meet with the guy.

The first thing I thought was that maybe he would take the opportunity to beat you up. If you do meet with him, make it in a public place where lots of people will be around. That would at least give you better protection, in case he has violence in mind.

I would cut your losses and fast. The money the guy owes you is a lost cause; do not try to get it back. For your own physical and emotional safety, stay away from these jerks.

My catch line that my family knows regarding bad memories is "Put it out of your mind and never think about it again." These people are not worth the energy it takes to rehash the situation over and over and try to make things right. Move on, and only take with you the lessons regarding the signs of someone who is using you.

STAY AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE!! !! !

Frankly, they seem like criminal types. Cut your losses.

I don't know if you mentioned this: but are you going to college? If so, join a club.

These people are LOW-CLASS.

I do and so do they. Luckily it's not the same one.

That changes things a bit, what kinds of issues? Not saying to remain friends, but your perspective and amount of closure could depend on it. Honestly the fact they knew and still did this just seems really low.

Guy - social anxiety, girl - bipolar affective disorder, current episode severe depression with psychotic symptoms.

I don't think it matters what problems these two are suffering from. The girl has no class or loyalty. The guy is a bully, a user and a lier. They have nothing to offer you but grief.

I wouldn't be surprised if they're of a criminal mindset, too.

I've known those types of people. You have a future. Hang out with people who don't BS about stupid things--because they have no time for that; they've better things to do--like graduate!

The guy can only cause you more grief, sounds like he let his anxiety from being bullied or whatever consume him and now he has become a bully himself, sad when this happens I had to watch a friend make this transition myself. The girl I really don't know, not saying it's a free pass but could her behavior be attributed to an episode of psychosis? Was it an in the moment thing? She wasn't going for you but maybe her judgement on how to deal with the situation was impaired. I definitely say break contact with both of them for now, the guy permanently and the girl until you feel comfortable speaking again if ever.

I have been reading through the other posts, my advice at this point would be to have no more contact with either of them, I am sorry the man owes you money but I dont think it would be worth it trying to get it back regarding his annoyance about people being told what had happened he is obviously sufficiently self aware to know that he behaved badly you did nothing wrong by telling it as it was, but they did not expect that honesty being dishonest themselves.
take care of yourself and move on

I don't care about the money, but I'd like to keep mutual friends. Now one of our mutual acquaintances is asking me to reconcile with them. He's saying it's ok to have sex with a girl your friend really likes and there's no need to ask your friend. And a friend shouldn't feel bad at all. He thinks I'm idealistic and shouldn't be upset about this. Is this really normal? What's the point of having a friend then?

If you were dating for a month and went to the party with her then she shouldn't have sex with someone else. And your friend shouldn't have sex with a girl he knows his friend is dating. This third guy sounds like just as much of a dufus as the other two.
I think you should lose this whole crowd.

In my social group in college, it would be considered o.k. to sleep with someone your friend liked under these circumstances: the person your friend likes has told your friend that there is no possibility of a relationship *and* you told your friend that you also have feelings for this person and that the person let you know the feelings are mutual BEFORE you did anything with the person in question. This would also be considered o.k. with a friend's ex, as long as some time has passed and you spoke to your friend about it first.

It would NOT be o.k. to sleep with someone your friend likes if your friend has been dating that person, and the person has not told your friend that they don't want to date anymore beforehand. And, it certainly would not be o.k. to do this while your friend is in the same house and may be able to hear you under any of these circumstances.

There had been situations that arose similar to yours due to extreme drunken stupidity. However, the friend who hurt the other friend would apologize profusely about it and never put the blame on their friend for "thinking it will work out". Plus, I really think it was unnecessary for the girl to outline specific characteristics of yours that you have no control over when she told you it would never have worked out. I think that was mean. And, none of my friends would (although would be embarrassed) blame the other friend for speaking about it.

It's not worth it if you are sucked into a moral cesspool.