Men who work retail are just lazy and need to get a real

Post Reply New Topic

It's just evolution at work, survival of the fittest, the best strongest genes get passed on. I don't think there is any society in the world where introverted poor loner are seen as attractive, how isn't it biology? Think about it, we're still animals. I'm not too interested in living in some primitive African matriarchal tribe, I somehow doubt things would be better. A lot of places in the world and thru out a lot of history marriages were arranged and it was down for the benefit of the families so security has been a big part. Even at it's most primitive, attraction favors those with more physical stature because that is an example of security. Perhaps if I aimed for the third world I would be more attractive since then I'm not poor and quite cosmopolitan by those standards , what do you mean different subculture?

Social Darwinism is obnoxious, how much money someone makes has very little to do with survival of the fittest. Its not just people working in retail who get paid below the living wage, plenty of people in labor jobs aren't making wages to cove basic costs of living on their own either. Survival of the fittest applies to nature not human constructs and financial hierarchy. How many filthy rich CEOs in the 1% do you think would survive if you stick them in the wilderness with no resources?

My husband was on welfare and worked part-time "under the table" when I met him. He lived with his parents. He didn't have a driver's license, much less a car. He's never gone to college.
You know what mattered to me? That he was kind. He asked me if I was cold. He asked me if I was hungry. He asked me if I was tired. He treated (and still treats) me with respect and consideration. Last week I bought him a hat I knew he wanted, because I knew he wouldn't spend the money on himself. This week he surprised me by putting up the Christmas tree while I was out, because he knows that's a task I hate. That's what love is.
Don't listen to what "media" tells you about how love and life work. Don't get wrapped up in ideas about "alpha males" and Darwinism and such crap. Be a nice guy. A nice girl will appreciate it.

This, so many times over. As my grandmother used to say, "you'll get who you deserve"...it took decades until I understood what she meant. And, it's true for both genders.

You mean like the pretty girl that would only date rich guys and concluded that anyone worth dating was a jerk or worse. And she went to a pretty good high school in a New England suburb, which means that many of her classmates who she wouldn't date did quite well financially after a few years--but not before getting degrees from the top schools in the country.

Men are expected to not be vulnerable or show anything outside of the range of masculine feelings. That's the status quo I see. Then there's an NT-esque layer of communication one is expected to perform.

Women have to look attractive and expect that any real man will want to sow some wild oats from time to time. Once again, those NT skills seem to dictate just how demanding a pretty person can get away with being.

Some people are unlucky enough to live in those bounds and wish they didn't. Some people just get out there and try to see what else life has to offer and develop things like talent and actual character and maybe a better reason for living.

Human constructs and financial hierarchy are as part of nature as ant colony or pack of wolves are, how are we separate from animals? Ours may be more complex but unless you believe we were divinely creative, it's the same. Our environment has changed but so have what we find attractive, the modern man is attractive to the modern woman so in what ways can a modern man provide security? Instead of big and strong, lots of money and a large social network implies health and security. Is Darwinism really that different than social Darwinism? I don't think so, nature is brutal and ugly and I certainly think we should aspire to be more than our animal parts but if you want a general answer as to why things are the way they are then it's a good explanation. I would say money has almost everything to do with survival in our modern society.

As for dropping the filthy rich CEO into the wilderness, they'd probably do better than you think because when your filthy rich you have a lot more time to do outdoors fun stuff as opposed to a poor urban working sap.

I don't think you ladies need to defend yourselves, you're all saints but lets be real there is more to being attractive as a man than how he looks and treats other people. Being nice is not enough, being nice to women who don't like you will get you the creeper label. Saying nothing will get you it too so you can't win. Having a job, car, your own house/apartment, friends, etc are important to a lot of women maybe not all but enough to say I am not confident approaching any women given those are prerequisites for most. As a guy on the spectrum, it's just an additional handicap and one not easily remedied. If I ever meet anybody it's just going to be pure dumb luck, I don't expect it will ever all just *click* for me. Somebody said find someone like yourself? So someone on the spectrum? Yeah, alright sure good luck with that. I can't chase therefor in all likelihood my bloodline dies out. I can't get rejected hundreds of times on the off chance that somebody even gives me a chance, I'd probably kill myself. I don't know why its so painful for me and rolls off like water for others, I guess that's the anxiety disorder I dunno.

[MODERATOR]

Just a reminder, this is the Haven, so, please keep the bickering outside.

As for "generalizations," in the Haven, there's a greater tolerance as, sometimes, people just need to vent. Sly suffers from anxiety and depression, so please keep in mind that his ability to communicate may be hindered.

Thank you.

[/MODERATOR]

Well, sly279 and you both seem to have a certain view of our culture and how men and women are taught to value each other. I was brought up to buy into that worldview, too. But a few experiences in the last 8-9 years convinced me that my values and worldview actually resonated with the groups & subcultures I'd been taught were evil, misguided, mistaken, (insert a bunch of offensive terms about alternate subcultures here). Then I got to know them and learned that a big part of the reason alternative subcultures are called that is because they don't buy into what our mainstream culture convinces everyone is "best". Thing is, though, they seem so much happier with life and themselves than people I'd been brought up to idolize and try to emulate...

I like that brain/beauty avatar.