Feeling Desperate

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Good call on the insurance thing. I'll likely end up doing that.

As for what I need help with? I really consider there to be two main issues.

First, there's the social aspect. It's more than just interacting with people on a basic level. I do fine with that, for the most part. It's getting closer to people... it's understanding them and being able to make friends and stand up for myself with people who are anything but friends. I'd especially like to be able to effectively understand facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. I could spend my whole life getting along with everyone but being close to nobody. That's where I'm at right now with the tools available to me... and I can't stand it.

I've noticed I have a vastly greater need for social interaction than most other aspies, in excess of what my current (admittedly far above average for most aspies) social skills can get me.

After that, the biggest thing is executive function. I have a ton of difficulty prioritizing, initiating and following through on tasks. Following routines is... well, pretty hard. I strongly suspect I have ADD that's gone untreated for a long time; I'm finally having that explored and should know for sure in a couple months.

There's other stuff, but it just doesn't matter nearly as much to me.

You said: "I have a greater need for social interaction." You also said you wanted concrete suggestions.

Right now, during the political campaign season, I bet you can get lots of social interaction if you volunteer for somebody's campaign. Volunteering will also get you new contacts for jobs, etc.

I, personally, hate groups and find them exhausting, especially after persistent burnout precipitated by "passing" as NT for decades as a corporate attorney. But if you like interacting with people, and you can function sufficiently well to be of use to charitable or political organizations, then IMO volunteering will further the social and career goals you have expressed in your posts.

AJ, you are a good guy and I wish there was something that I could say to help.

AJ, there were several community classes I took when I lived in Seattle, over 25 years ago. No doubt there are even more since the city grew. Here are some examples that I took: "autogenics" (a form of meditation / self-hypnosis practice); assertiveness training; massage for couples (you needed a partner); and I also was in a therapy group at one time, which allowed me to see how I and other people interact because it was all discussed by the group. I also knew someone who signed up for an anger management class. Except the therapy group, these were all inexpensive classes offered by community colleges, community centers, voc-techs, or one of those off-campus programs. I suppose all of these added to my social skills. I've seen the same types of offerings in other cities.

I would also look at those class catalogs for help with executive function: managing your time, organizing your paperwork, decluttering your apartment or your life.

Notice that most of these are not offered in medical centers and in fact, insurance usually doesn't cover classes unless directly related to an illness, such as diabetes management. Hospitals and clinics do offer occasional classes like this, at patient expense.

If it's just contact with people you want, you can volunteer for something; but you wouldn't normally learn skills in plain volunteer work, so a class where you talk about social skills may be better.

Thanks Bea, I'll have a look and see if I can find any classes like that. I know the local community college has several. That's good, because I can get financial aid to pay for them.

Your avatar and title line, here, express that you are stressed.

I find that, when I am able to express myself, it helps with panic attacks.

We are frequently told to keep things upbeat, never to dwell on a problem, or even bring it up. Just keep smiling.

But, if you need something reasonable, it is helpful to clear the air, like the saying about the squeaky wheel that gets the grease.

You see my philosophy, as I have spoken on this, already.

Alot of urgency and malaise comes from people not being accommodated in a simple and harmless way, which doesn't have to be overbearing or cause a disturbance.

Yeah, it's not really accommodation that I need though, it's adaptation. That's something I do, not something others do for me. The stress comes from my needs exceeding my current abilities... which means my abilities need work.

AJ, I've been carefully reading your posts over past few days and I noticed something. You have a good understanding of the human condition. Far beyond me and many of the others on WP, no offense guys.

Your concerns about being misdiagnosed should be explored. Keep in mind, I do not have any special gift to give advice on this subject.