Extermely depressed, +8 month isolation taking toll

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I don't know



lol weed doesn't have withdraw, its actually not even an intoxicating plant. You know somethings legal status doesn't effect the drugs effect. That means they can make Advil illegal tomorrow and make most of America drug users. There is a reason I am off everything but cannabis.



There are no consequences, just that I have been in rehab have messed up enough times to have people constantly knocking on my door to breath down my neck. My doctor will basically tell me how much of a failure I am and how I am not meeting goals. I'll spare you my reply but it ain't good and is some what tamed from what it used to be as those people love to abuse their authority.



They abuse their authority, they made me a drug addict by giving me every drug known to man and made me homeless. They have done nothing to help me and have been nothing more then a pain. They had me stung out on Nyquil that I was stealing from my parents when I was 16 because they prescribed me stuff that made me higher then Santa Claus riding his reindeer.

I didn't assume I offended anyone from their absence, more just from past experience. I also don't think and will never think cannabis is bad though I admit I might not always be a user.

you are not a failure so long as you keep trying to understand life.

i have a problem with you calling yourself an abusive person when the most abusive thing you've done is call someone out for their actual ignorance and defend yourself from a demanding homeless person. maybe you could use some polish, but, from what you've shared, "abusive" doesn't fit you.

If I was to call someone in the mental health field, their would have money in their eyes. They would see me as less then human and I would be little more then money calling up. They hospitalized me knowing damn good and well I was stable, maybe not every time and I admit that but they have. I have had them tell me to threaten suicide so their job is easy. One example is when I was arrested for something I didn't even do and was immediately released for being autistic when my doctor called. They took me the ER and the doctor told me he could either release me to the police or I could threaten to kill myself. That was wrong, it was wrong to put the doctor in that position but he also didn't handle it right at all. When is it ever a good idea to tell a patient to threaten suicide? He can go hell and so can the police, in fact there is no one of authority that can't go to hell in my opinion, outside of God of course. People aren't prefect but those in authority rarely every do whats in everyones best interest.

Another example is a therapist that called and said I was suicidal when I wasn't and merely left her office after telling her she didn't help. she cost me my housing and she did it for no other reason then I pissed her off for leaving early? She can go to hell. They have drugged me numerous times in the psych ward in situations where I was willing to work with them and even asked to have a chance to talk. People in mental health field are the most abusive people I have ever known.

if you could arrange for yourself a major change of scenery, do you imagine that you could make a fresh start?

Interesting, I've read that withdrawal from weed can lead to a temporary depression in heavy users.

Hmm, everyone has little things that they can do to make them a better person today. I'm sure they're in there somewhere.

There are some good mental health professionals out there, though apparently, you've gotten the not-so-good ones. I've seen quite a few in my life, good and... not great. I can see why you're so angry at them, as you've had some of the worst experiences. About the doctor who told you to threaten suicide, maybe the doctor was trying to get you out of trouble with the police and thought that route might be better for you for some reason. Who knows?

Oh and these people drugged a 16 year old, interrogate him and lie to him that they won't do the very thing they ended up doing. I know the law is the law but you need to be honest about it, if I never wanted my parents to know somethings about me that is well within my right.

Again these people can go to hell, I tell them this to their face.

My case manager says their are bad people in every field but I have yet to meet a good person in the mental health field.

Also sorry I am rambling a bit,

I have been trying a change in scenery with fish and all my cleaning,

The only side effects from stopping weed that I am aware of is insomnia. I had it Friday and Saturday night but I have felt normal outside of that. I think I have been depressed and I have just masked it with cannabis. Still I know I am not going to change anyones mind. People either assume all drugs are bad because they are conditioned too or they think the way I do and look at effects not social standing. They have prescribed me much much worse, drugs don't care what people think of them, they work the same regardless.

Oh and one more thing on that last part,

God only said to avoid intoxication, he never said don't do drugs. he even used a drug (alcohol) and didn't get intoxicated. Why I don't know, I guess he had to rub in the fact he was prefect. He could have lived life and not done that but instead of just avoiding everything that leads to sin, he did them up to the point of not sinning.

you've run into some bad eggs. i was a social worker for seven years and never did any of those types of things (that i know of). i've had a couple of folks ask for a different worker. i always chalked it up to personality conflicts and even worked with one of them again on a brief project. i'm a nursing student now in hopes of becoming a psych nurse practitioner. i hope you don't hold that against me.

i also have a mental illness. i have had a doc yell at me every time i got worse, as if it were my fault or i were trying to inconvenience him. yet, i learned a lot from him. that was back when shrinks did counseling. he wasn't perfect, but he was good enough to be of help.

got to go to bed again.

please try not to assume (hard, i know, given what you've experienced) that anyone is offended unless they say they are. and then, don't automatically assume it's all your fault. they might be oversensitive or abusive. ask for specifics of what is the cause of their upset. then run it by someone you trust. never hurts to apologize, though, whether you think you're wrong or not.

can you go out and take a walk, join a gym, do some cardio exercise.
do some jogging.
also do some volunteering work.

you will have to start all over again
your life before drugs and after drugs will be two different things

can you get a social worker to help you restart
or some deaddiction or rehab worker to assist you

Yes because rehab has helped me so much in this past, I would hang myself before I get "assistance". What is the difference between "good" and "evil" drugs? Punish the behavior, not the substance. I don't understand why people don't realize that the war on drugs has conditioned them to to feel a certain way. Are you offended or are you offended because people tell you to be offended? Why is alcohol socially acceptable or for that matter why is any substance okay? Damn I guess we need to hire more DEA agents to prevent all those people from taking Advil this morning

Still I digress, thats not the point of the thread and I am back fine again, I doubt regardless of how anyone feels that a joint is going to kill me.

I am just going to leave this here, for no other reason but for me.

good song. what do you think of my post right before this one?

I know I am a bad person but let me tell you who else is a bad person

lol

I don't care if you go into nursing, you might do some good. There are good people in the the mental health field my current therapist being one or at the very least she is logical when telling people what to do with with me. She is on vacation and I have had a hell of a time keeping these bastards from hospitalizing me, my therapist has some sense and can usually communicate it well to those around her. I think you'll be fine if you listen to what people have to say, some people are psychotic but most people are willing to negotiate both emotional and realistically. Try and look at things through other people's eyes and don't judge so harshly. Those are the people that are helpful, tell people what to do in a way that makes sense and I would think most reasonable people would try and do that. Don't just do whatever the norm is, actually make an effort to help people and you'll probably be very well received. Get on the persons level, don't just tell them they screwed and throw meds at them, listen to how they actually feel and give them a chance to cooperate.

I have apologized until I blue in the face to everyone, I don't normally do that now, I normally for the last year tell people to go to hell and to leave me alone because thats how people talk to me. I cursed out my medical team last week and I don't regret that. I regret hurting people that don't deserve it but there is no one in my life by that description around me cause they all left. There is no one left to impress and those money loving freaks can kiss my ass. I have never even considered myself mentally ill, they completely neglect to consider the things going on in my life when I have these break downs. I am autistic, my first doctor swore on it but they are hell bent on saying I am bipolar. These people don't even recognize my struggles, I have no remorse how I treat these people and I'll go off on them for no other reason then to give them a bad day. They don't get nearly what they deserve.

Oh and thats why I wanted to pass a drug test, I figured these people would lighten up if I they think I actually respect them or what they have to say. Of all the mental health professionals I have know and I have known them my whole life. There are few good people I can think of, definitely not more the number of fingers on one hand.

I wouldn't be surprised if all my problems are caused by them, they are probably f*****g up for a profit. I don't even know why I take their drugs. f*****g hypocrites, I thought they said drugs were bad? I guess they are only bad when you aren't buying from them. f*****g legal drug dealers in a suit, why don't they walk a mile in my shoes. I never know what to say or how to say it, I have been in horrible situations and all that is because I am the one with an issue. I can't think any lower of them, they are lower then me and thats pretty damn low.

I love the look on these people's faces when I show them a paper with autism spectrum disorder on it from a highly reputable doctor.

They stare at it dumb founded,

I am not bipolar or schizophrenic you stupid people. They seem amazed I can reason with them because my medical records are so screwed. Rude they say but reasonable. Of course I am going to go in and out of psych wards homeless on the street, did they not consider my environment before they prescribed me every drug under the sun? Did they not actually think to ask how I felt about anything, no no they did not.