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How do I convince my 8 year old sister to remain cute?

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emilybc
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01 Dec 2016, 4:21 pm

I think maturity is relative. When I stopped liking being called "cute," it was just because I was at a stage of my life where I wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted people to listen to my thoughts and feelings. The thought of being "mature" just made me more comfortable in my own skin, and made me feel like I deserved respect.

Regarding your sister, maybe just try to explain to her and your family that being "cute" just means being spirited and happy and loveable. It's not meant as an insult; it's a good thing.



EphraimB
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01 Dec 2016, 4:28 pm

Shahunshah wrote:
I wouldn't necessarily define your friends actions as mature. Sometimes being mature is also about respecting people who are different and not rejecting them. Though I don't know the full story of this.

Well as we grow up it is unfortunate that sometimes people will not always want to be around you. And what right do we have to force those people to stay if they don't enjoy someone else's company.

But this isn't just one person, it's also camp staff, my parents, etc.


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Shahunshah
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01 Dec 2016, 4:34 pm

EphraimB wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
I wouldn't necessarily define your friends actions as mature. Sometimes being mature is also about respecting people who are different and not rejecting them. Though I don't know the full story of this.

Well as we grow up it is unfortunate that sometimes people will not always want to be around you. And what right do we have to force those people to stay if they don't enjoy someone else's company.

But this isn't just one person, it's also camp staff, my parents, etc.
Well do they have a point?

Sometimes your parents may tell you to stop being immature as it places too much burden on them, may create behavior which annoys them. And in addition may also want to be immature because they are aware society will judge you for it.



EphraimB
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01 Dec 2016, 5:19 pm

Shahunshah wrote:
...And in addition may also want to be immature because they are aware society will judge you for it.

What do you mean?


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Shahunshah
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01 Dec 2016, 5:26 pm

EphraimB wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
...And in addition may also want to be immature because they are aware society will judge you for it.

What do you mean?
They may not want you to be immature as they want the best for you and if you are society may judge you for it.



EphraimB
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01 Dec 2016, 5:34 pm

Shahunshah wrote:
They may not want you to be immature as they want the best for you and if you are society may judge you for it.

If society would criticize my immaturity then what is this following quote from what you said earlier supposed to mean?
Shahunshah wrote:
...When you become mature you learn to respect others and deal with the fact that they might not wish to do the things you want them to.

If this above quote is true, then society should actually respect that I want to remain immature and not judge me on it at all.


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Shahunshah
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01 Dec 2016, 5:52 pm

EphraimB wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
They may not want you to be immature as they want the best for you and if you are society may judge you for it.

If society would criticize my immaturity then what is this following quote from what you said earlier supposed to mean?
Shahunshah wrote:
...When you become mature you learn to respect others and deal with the fact that they might not wish to do the things you want them to.

If this above quote is true, then society should actually respect that I want to remain immature and not judge me on it at all.

It is just one of many reasons why you should be mature. If people see you as someone who is annoying and doesn't respect their personal space they may choose not be friends or get to know you.



EphraimB
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01 Dec 2016, 6:04 pm

Shahunshah wrote:
It is just one of many reasons why you should be mature. If people see you as someone who is annoying and doesn't respect their personal space they may choose not be friends or get to know you.

But I don't do these things. All I do is act silly and then other people think me as weird and then I get angry because they don't want to be my friend all because I act silly and it makes me into an outcast. Then I get upset that no one talks to me except for when they boss me around resulting in me taking revenge on people and being mean back to them.


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Shahunshah
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01 Dec 2016, 6:22 pm

EphraimB wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
It is just one of many reasons why you should be mature. If people see you as someone who is annoying and doesn't respect their personal space they may choose not be friends or get to know you.

But I don't do these things. All I do is act silly and then other people think me as weird and then I get angry because they don't want to be my friend all because I act silly and it makes me into an outcast. Then I get upset that no one talks to me except for when they boss me around resulting in me taking revenge on people and being mean back to them.
Well let me tell you this. If you want people to like you a level of maturity is the key. You have got not try to frustrate and annoy others that just upsets them. If you carry on doing that no one will want to be your friend.



EphraimB
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01 Dec 2016, 6:35 pm

Shahunshah wrote:
Well let me tell you this. If you want people to like you a level of maturity is the key. You have got not try to frustrate and annoy others that just upsets them. If you carry on doing that no one will want to be your friend.

Immature people would still want to be my friend. Unfortunately, social workers are influencing immature people to mature and always succeeds. Also, (name removed) the person from my camp 2 years ago stopped liking me the second he matured. I actually did everything I could to still be his friend but he made it hard for me. All this because he matured. If this is how mature people act, why should I act mature as well? This is also why I need a way, fast, to convince Cutie to remain cute. If I don't, she will start being mean to me and start bossing me around.


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Shahunshah
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01 Dec 2016, 6:47 pm

EphraimB wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
Well let me tell you this. If you want people to like you a level of maturity is the key. You have got not try to frustrate and annoy others that just upsets them. If you carry on doing that no one will want to be your friend.

Immature people would still want to be my friend. Unfortunately, social workers are influencing immature people to mature and always succeeds. Also, Yaakov Brown, the person from my camp 2 years ago stopped liking me the second he matured. I actually did everything I could to still be his friend but he made it hard for me. All this because he matured. If this is how mature people act, why should I act mature as well? This is also why I need a way, fast, to convince Cutie to remain cute. If I don't, she will start being mean to me and start bossing me around.
Maturity is a natural process that happens to most people. If you want to keep friends you have to mature. Or behaviors that would have been tolerated when you were younger won't be tolerated by friends any more. You can't simply convince people not be mature that never works people just grow up.

You are avoiding the question I was posing before.

Why is it good for you to keep telling your sister she is cute when she doesn't like it?, its obviously embarrasing her.



wilburforce
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01 Dec 2016, 6:48 pm

EphraimB wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
Well let me tell you this. If you want people to like you a level of maturity is the key. You have got not try to frustrate and annoy others that just upsets them. If you carry on doing that no one will want to be your friend.

Immature people would still want to be my friend. Unfortunately, social workers are influencing immature people to mature and always succeeds. Also, Yaakov Brown, the person from my camp 2 years ago stopped liking me the second he matured. I actually did everything I could to still be his friend but he made it hard for me. All this because he matured. If this is how mature people act, why should I act mature as well? This is also why I need a way, fast, to convince Cutie to remain cute. If I don't, she will start being mean to me and start bossing me around.


It sounds like you don't understand the difference between acting "youthful" and being immature and conducting yourself badly. Being youthful, having a young state of mind and way of approaching the world is one thing, but being immature in that you can't interact socially with others without being a jerk is just poor conduct. Immaturity is a sign of a lack of personal development, which no one is going to appreciate. Being youthful is different--you can be responsible and treat other people with respect and still have a youthful heart. Youthful people aren't vengeful, vindictive, and spiteful--but immature people are.


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EphraimB
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01 Dec 2016, 7:11 pm

wilburforce wrote:
It sounds like you don't understand the difference between acting "youthful" and being immature and conducting yourself badly. Being youthful, having a young state of mind and way of approaching the world is one thing, but being immature in that you can't interact socially with others without being a jerk is just poor conduct. Immaturity is a sign of a lack of personal development, which no one is going to appreciate. Being youthful is different--you can be responsible and treat other people with respect and still have a youthful heart. Youthful people aren't vengeful, vindictive, and spiteful--but immature people are.

I said already in an earlier post:
Quote:
Shahunshah wrote:
It is just one of many reasons why you should be mature. If people see you as someone who is annoying and doesn't respect their personal space they may choose not be friends or get to know you.

EphraimB wrote:
But I don't do these things. All I do is act silly and then other people think me as weird and then I get angry because they don't want to be my friend all because I act silly and it makes me into an outcast. Then I get upset that no one talks to me except for when they boss me around resulting in me taking revenge on people and being mean back to them.


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I'm very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

My personality type: INTJ-T


wilburforce
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01 Dec 2016, 7:27 pm

EphraimB wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
It sounds like you don't understand the difference between acting "youthful" and being immature and conducting yourself badly. Being youthful, having a young state of mind and way of approaching the world is one thing, but being immature in that you can't interact socially with others without being a jerk is just poor conduct. Immaturity is a sign of a lack of personal development, which no one is going to appreciate. Being youthful is different--you can be responsible and treat other people with respect and still have a youthful heart. Youthful people aren't vengeful, vindictive, and spiteful--but immature people are.

I said already in an earlier post:
Quote:
Shahunshah wrote:
It is just one of many reasons why you should be mature. If people see you as someone who is annoying and doesn't respect their personal space they may choose not be friends or get to know you.

EphraimB wrote:
But I don't do these things. All I do is act silly and then other people think me as weird and then I get angry because they don't want to be my friend all because I act silly and it makes me into an outcast. Then I get upset that no one talks to me except for when they boss me around resulting in me taking revenge on people and being mean back to them.


My point is that maybe you don't see your behaviour as a problem, but obviously everyone else around you does and that leads me to think you're not seeing your own behaviour very clearly. If you were being youthful but not immature and irresponsible and nasty, then it wouldn't be such a problem for other people. If everyone around you is telling you your behaviour is a problem, then it might be time to re-examine your behaviour and learn the difference between youthfulness and immaturity.


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Shahunshah
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01 Dec 2016, 7:33 pm

EphraimB to be honest we don't have a right to force you to be mature. It is highly advisable but we can't enforce it on you.

But I think you should really just stop calling your sister cutie. Even if you put maturity aside it is not good. It looks like she gets embarassed and a little upset when you do that. She can still be your lovely sister but you have to limit your behavior or else she won't like being around you.



Shahunshah
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01 Dec 2016, 7:34 pm

wilburforce wrote:
EphraimB wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
It sounds like you don't understand the difference between acting "youthful" and being immature and conducting yourself badly. Being youthful, having a young state of mind and way of approaching the world is one thing, but being immature in that you can't interact socially with others without being a jerk is just poor conduct. Immaturity is a sign of a lack of personal development, which no one is going to appreciate. Being youthful is different--you can be responsible and treat other people with respect and still have a youthful heart. Youthful people aren't vengeful, vindictive, and spiteful--but immature people are.

I said already in an earlier post:
Quote:
Shahunshah wrote:
It is just one of many reasons why you should be mature. If people see you as someone who is annoying and doesn't respect their personal space they may choose not be friends or get to know you.

EphraimB wrote:
But I don't do these things. All I do is act silly and then other people think me as weird and then I get angry because they don't want to be my friend all because I act silly and it makes me into an outcast. Then I get upset that no one talks to me except for when they boss me around resulting in me taking revenge on people and being mean back to them.


My point is that maybe you don't see your behaviour as a problem, but obviously everyone else around you does and that leads me to think you're not seeing your own behaviour very clearly. If you were being youthful but not immature and irresponsible and nasty, then it wouldn't be such a problem for other people. If everyone around you is telling you your behaviour is a problem, then it might be time to re-examine your behaviour and learn the difference between youthfulness and immaturity.
Hey where on the same page for once, Wilburforce. :wink: