In-hospital and blody .

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Thanks for the update, ASS-P.

So this is your situation, as I understand it - please correct me if I'm wrong:

1. You don't enjoy living in shelters, and keep getting kicked out due to health problems.

2. You would prefer a 'supportive housing' situation, but got kicked out of the last SRO due to health problems. You would need to prove to the social worker that your health problems have been resolved, before being eligible again.

3. You are aware that a Public Guardian could be assigned to oversee your financial, legal, medical, and housing situation, but you choose not to pursue this option, and prefer to manage your own life choices.

4. You are aware that nursing homes exist, for people with serious chronic health problems, but you choose not to pursue this option, as it would limit your independence and financial freedom.

5. (Is there an option I'm missing here?)

In summary, out of all these options, you only find #1 and #2 acceptable. So it seems the goal is to stay at the shelter for now, recover from your health problems, and ask your social worker to reconsider you for a 'supportive housing' / SRO situation, once your health problems have improved.

Do I understand this correctly, or have I got something wrong here?

ASS-P, all I've ever done in my entire time since knowing your story is try and help you.

However, it appears you now want me gone after what I said about possibly having you forcibly Section 8'ed. I would never do that. It was just a possibility at the time but is not anymore. Again, I would never do that.

All you need to do is answer my question. Do you want me to exit out of your life?

Until you actually say the words, I will keep asking in every thread and in PMs. I do not respond to cowardly ghosters.

I typed a one word post here recently.
The word "Interesting ... "
And guess what I learned?

That for all his protestations of not being able to do anything and all his excuses about not being able to speak up for himself or ask questions for this, that, or the other reason
...
yes, ASS-P can speak up and fight for himself.
AND POST ALL IN CAPS ...
When he really wants to.

And you know what?
If ASS-P doesn't like our suggestions (the various different suggestions of many people here for many different topics and problems that ASS-P brings up)
when he posts his tales of woe, replete with a billion emoticons,
Well, what does he expect?
He wants attention ... he's getting it.

Whether or not he understands that people here care about him
(including me, whether he believes it or not)
and don't want to see him die on the streets,
who can say.

But ASS-P has a whole lot of people here trying to help him, and who would love to see him go to college, learn a language, etc. ...
and who would love to see him
speak up and fight for himself
so that some of these dreams of his can come true ...
and a part of that includes getting a stable roof over his head in a place with regularly scheduled meals and medical care.

Nobody here's gonna commit you anywhere, ASS-P.

You've showed you have a fighting spirit.
Now why don't you use it to improve your life?
Are you really so afraid of talking to a social worker?
I mean, to advocate for yourself,
now that you know where you stand with them?
Tell them you deserve more because you're disabled and seriously chronically ill.

Ashariel, your summary is exactly what my understanding of his options is.

Ashariel is a very smart and kind person. Her limitations in the real world have no bearing on what she can accomplish in the virtual world by proxy, if that is the right term.

No one owes ASS-P any help. He is already receiving a vast sum of money per month, which he could put towards a small room in a shared apartment or in other ways, in other cities, etc. He chooses to spend that money unwisely and ignores all advice - just plodding along the same minefield that he is always on. It's self-abuse. He is also being helped by HOT Team or another agencies with providing constant replacements for things he either loses, misplaces, or are stolen from him. This is an incredible amount of kindness by the people who are replacing his things.

To everyone posting. One must hope that your effort, energy and generosity will not be a simple waste of time. This man has proven to be almost, if not completely, unhelp-able. I encourage Omniel in particular, who seems to just about only post in ASS-P's threads, to venture out and help others. ASS-P is one person in a large world of others in need. There are many other people who could use some positive words and a guiding in the right direction.

ASS-P was the only reason why I continued to post and since he wants nothing to do with me anymore, I won't be posting again on this forum.

*MOD edit by request*

I think a lot of us understand your frustration, Tobes, and I'm sorry your efforts were wasted and unwanted in the end.

We all want to see ASS-P do better, and hate to see someone suffering the way he is. But it's true that the people who have tried the hardest to reach out and help him over the years, have all given up in frustration.

My own attempt to summarize ASS-P's situation is partly to help him focus on realistic goals, but also to quietly help other forum members to understand what ASS-P himself is vague about: the fact that help does exist, if he's willing to cooperate with Social Services, and follow their advice.

I don't particularly enjoy my involvement in ASS-P's threads, and would be fine with quietly stepping away at this point as well. I'm fairly confident that ASS-P knows how to get help, if and when he's ready. My only concern is that if those of us who understand his situation back out, new unsuspecting members will not know the history, and will waste countless hours trying to figure out what we already know.

Then again, this is the Haven, and if ASS-P simply wants a place to vent and find sympathy, I don't want to get in the way of that. It's just that in such an extreme situation, no decent person can merely sympathize without feeling compelled to help - and that's why it's important for at least some of us who understand his situation to speak up now and then, since ASS-P himself is not very clear in communicating this information.

So I'm inclined to back away at this point as well, as I really have nothing more to add, that hasn't already been said. I wish ASS-P all the best, and hope that one day he will surprise us all, and finally get the professional help he needs.

ASS-P has also left this thread and is choosing to post about politics, so his life must be okay for him.

I would caution any future reader to carefully read the summary of his options, see that if he would follow some rules he has lots of help available to him, and DO NOT SEND HIM ANY MONEY. He posts repeatedly about things he needs and wants - he gets a lot of money every month and spends it how he chooses, there is no need for any board member to supplement that amount.

...I,m glad KK believes me .
I have been in this same hospital room , not leaving , since my last post here .
I have had my little (but loved ) tablet and Wi-Fi here - a rarity for me .
WP , however , has gone through lengthy times of being offline these past coupla days .
I see now that Ash has more or less said : I wash my hands of you - a least for now : .
This seems to be based on a storyline that I have refused the help she feels Ishould be getting .
She , and others?? , seem to be , now , following a narrative that I need professional help , meaning that Ineed to be committed to a mental hospital against my will , because I have : refused help : , or that seems to be one way to be describe hat are the feelings heldby sh and those who agree with her .
I wanted to avoid speaking about Tobes, comments , but , re-reading what he said , I see that he is now saying to eople that I should not be helped , that I do not deserve help ! He has turned 180 degrees against me ?
Also, let me point ut that my SSDI is hardly : vast : - especially against the fact that I have essentially NO possessions/things to fall s ery difficulttback on at all - aside from the vast amount of things that I have had stolen , or otherwise disappeared , which has been a negative financial impact onme to a great extent ! And , as I have outlined before , I receive my SSDI in a broken-up-by-the-week manner , which makes make making a larger payment quite difficult .
I am not mentally ill .
Also , as the blogger The Homeless Guu don,t quite fall into the standard slots officially in their eyes , such asalchoholic, vet , etc....and SS don;t tend to think of me very much as AS , : an atistic perssony put itor similar , : People who are not homeless reatly overestimate the amount of largesse that Social Services makes available : - There,s a lot less available , in general , than you think there is , I believe .
San Francisco has a massive HL population (It has officially gone up , where homeless numbers in most areas have gone down .) , and there,s often not that much , per person , available _ Especially if you , perhaps , do not fit into : standard : ; : alchohol pproblem , veteran , etc. : slts - and I tink that SS here doesn,t thiink of me particularly as AS/: an autistic person : , either .
I will sign off for now - However, I will say that I am - distubed?? - by this : You,re not doing what we,re saying you should do , so we wash our hands of you now : feeling expressed by some to me here .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...Omn is now going out of her way to attack me , beyond her : I,m leaving : simple statement of before , I have just seen this . Again , (apparent) 10 degree turnaround , from claiming interest and concern in and about me , to going out of her way to attack me ,
I am going to have to say even more , but I need to get this up - Although , a I hve just outlined , my SSDI is hardly a fortune , and as I e just outlined - Is dispersed to me in an oddball manner which makes major purchases quite hard - and my residential and medical situations - combine with my EXTREME lack of any possessions at all to make me very desperately lacking .
I have temporary access to both a powered keyboard and Wi-Fi now...I was diverting myself , and posting about things not my problems .
Omn is offended by this ? What is it that I did that justifies that ?
As of right now, I,m secure , and I can regale myself with posting about something other than my pproblems . This is Omn,s Big Beast ?

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...Again...I am in a hospital right now ! !! !! !! !! AS I WRITE THIS . I am receiving treatment for the CHF-caused weight ballooning !
THIS IS CERTAINLY , BY ITS VERY DEFNITION , PROFESSIONAL HELP .
Someone here thought that I should be placedunder the Public Guardian , and , furthermore , I guess that I could somehow arrange that instantly - to her satisfaction .
Another one was threatening me with mental hospital commitment - When I am not menntally ill - that he would pull it offf by long =-distance . From another continent . By cellphone , no doubt . He was going to have me dragged off from the Southern Hemisphere . It,s summer there now - So I suposed he pictured ding it at the bbeach ! With a nice , hot , barbie banger and a lager, no doubt .
Aside from the people I am thinking of , it seems people replying in this post tend towards a vastly over-inflated idea of how esily and widely : a home : - Which , I HAVE SAID , I am open to the possibility of , but some seem to reply tothat with a demand tht I be fully enrolled in one two days later . Or that : I am refusing to help myself : if I am not . Medical help with the C
HF , etc. , condition is neededfirst of all , and I,m at least receiiving a dose of that now - Which I WAS , VERY MUCH SO , trying to get ! Does no one understand that ? Are so may people here,s heads so filled with Lifetime/Ion/Hallmark Channel TV movies ?
I don.t knowhow long this will last . I don.t know whether they will dischargge me Mon. or Tues. On Fri.I spoke about maybe a fuller-fleged place to the hospital (never seen by me before) social worker who visited me here , who simply heldout a return to the same shelter where so mmuch disappearred of mine before .
BTW , YU DO NOT KNOW , for all my statements - how difficult is is to type and post on this tablet ! If you the difficulties I have to go through to get what you see up ...

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Here is a link that will help you. It's Regional Center, I found one in San Francisco. They can help you have a better life. I was a member of Regional Center, they can give a social worker to you. I hope you will check it out. Staying in a hospital is great, but you can't stay there forever. Please look at the link? It might change your life.

http://www.ggrc.org/

There are many other posters here who are far more mature-minded than myself when it comes to things of this nature. ASS-P does not want my help anymore, so I will be stepping out of his threads and this forum, however I would like to clear up some perspectives that I probably contributed to being given or were otherwise overlooked.

Regarding his acceptance of care home offers. He has repeatedly said there is no one there offering him stable SRO or care-home accommodation. He comes across as an honest person, so I believe him. A very wise member of this forum said that there are so many homeless in America, particularly San Francisco (second highest population of homeless in America), that it really is hard to house everyone, even those in as much need as ASS-P. Some people just fall through the cracks and he appears to be one of them. Let us remember that he was in an SRO last year but was kicked out against his will. There may not be many, if any, other SRO's in his part of SF, so that is potentially not even an option anymore. As Ashariel and Omniel have said, the way to move forward is for ASS-P to be the one asking on his own behalf.

That is just one thing I would like to clear up, as I feel maybe things have gotten too negative in the way people view him now, regarding his access to care facilities. So for anyone wanting to further try and help, care facilities may be extremely hard to find for him. Yes, there are an abundance of them in SF, but getting ASS-P to make the phone calls or ask the questions in person, may prove quite difficult. Yes, he does need to take the lead now. However, he has trouble doing some things that may benefit him long-term, such as asking about care homes. Maybe that can change if one persists with encouraging him. Emailing on his behalf, as I have found out, unless you're actually in SF, just will not get anywhere. All these places need him to actually be the one doing things. For anyone who was like me and wanted to get him into a proper care home, this will be your biggest struggle.

Perhaps, as Ashariel and others have been doing, the best way to improve his life is not focus on care homes. Perhaps it's to focus on the little things that he may want day-to-day.

Does he lose things? Yes. Do things get stolen? Yes. Anyone's involvement in his life will most likely be an endless struggle... but that's life. It will probably take a ton of emotional energy out of you. Be prepared for your advice to be either ignored, not taken or met with a thousand reasons why it can't be done. For people helping, there are many things you must be prepared for. I was focused on "the big goal" of getting him into a home... but it seems it's the little goals of everyday things that he doesn't have, or constantly loses/gets stolen from him, that are potentially the best ways to help him.

I would agree that Tobes, Ash, and many others had excellent intentions for ASS-P.

I don't believe anybody had any intention to commit ASS-P to a mental hospital. That would be an impossibility. The intention wasn't there, anyway.

All they wanted was for ASS-P to enter a place where his medical needs would be met. A place for people with chronic diseases yet affording him privacy.

Homeless people have it tough. Sometimes, homeless people make it hard for themselves; sometimes, others make it hard on homeless people.

I hope ASS-P believes that Tobes had good intentions. Maybe he became frustrated in the end because of the seeming futility of ASS-P existence. And perhaps because he felt like ASS-P wasn't being proactive enough.

But his intentions were always good and honorable.

^^^QFT.

KK, you summed it up very well. I'm not good at summing up things, it takes me forever to get a point written up. You guys, KK, Omniel, Ashariel and others are a whole lot better at that. You are the ones I was referring to as the mature minds of this particular part of the forum, that which is dedicated to ASS-P. Same with auntblabby, when he decides to chime in every now and then. He is arguably the most knowledgeable person on ASS-P, as he's been there from very early on.

Overall, ASS-P is a nice person. His posts reflect a general niceness and a quite mature mind as well. Just because him and I conflicted doesn't mean he isn't a generally nice guy. So, that is also something to be taken into consideration. Him being an aspie has made it very hard for him to 'make it' in life. In my opinion, and this is not an attack at him, it is just an opinion, he can not handle life even remotely close to its fullest by himself. He needs a carer on a daily basis to help him. Yes, this would be the equivalent of a nursing home. That is the ideal situation. Alternatively, if a small apartment room was available with a toilet in the room, he may be able to function well living there. These are options that people may want to explore. As he is now, I would define this under the SF DAAS terminology of 'Self-neglect.'

http://www.sfdaas.org/417.htm

The comment about forcible care was just that - to force him into the care that he is not getting and can not give himself.

Being an aspie is not his fault, so no one should blame him for that. Sometimes he struggles to listen to our advice on things that we ask of him, for example to call a certain phone number or ask someone for help in-person. Things only he can do, that we can't from behind a computer. Having said that, there are different avenues that can be accessed from behind a computer if someone is willing to reach out. Before I quit helping him, I was going to research counsellors on the street of his previous shelter, as he expressed interest in wanting someone to talk to about things. So, that's something that can be explored. That counsellor, if one was found, may have also been able to really listen to him and get him a referral for a care home. Someone else may want to look into that. Think outside the box.

He may be scared to speak up or scared of the consequences of a certain care home, based on previous negative experiences. These things may take a certain understanding. However, he has shown an improvement of sorts lately with a willingness to accept care if it is offered, so if you guys are persistent, you may break through and get him to further help himself. That's what it's really about - him helping him.

You guys are smart, you'll hopefully figure out what is the best way to approach certain situations. As I said before, I feel opinions have swung very negatively towards him in the last week. Whether they are justified is up to the individual. I just think it's good to remember how bad his situation is, how generally nice he does seem, question things from all angles and then make that decision on what your opinion will be.