I could use some encouragement RE: P.T. Clinicals

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Good work at handling a million problems/issues/things coming at you all at once. I hope it all works out well for you and your son.

Thanks, blazingstar, I'll continue to try.

Today I have a presentation to create because I have to deliver it tomorrow. Combine that with the fact that my last week will be my busiest and most challenging week and I'm stressed. I keep on putting of this presentation and when I don't focus on the reason for this behavior, I feel like I'm just procrastinating and being lazy. But I realize I'm stressed about it and don't want to do this presentation. Actually creating the presentation is going to be just add to my stress about performing it.

I have no trouble doing presentations, it's just that this one is going to be about a musculoskeletal condition (shoulder impingement) and I'm not as strong in that area. And I have to focus on interventions (treatments), but I'll be giving a presentation to people who have done a lot of treatments for shoulder impingement. The funny part is if I do this presentation and I literally tell these folks everything they already know (and there's a good chance that will be what happens), they'll be totally nice about it and I'm sure I'll still get a good grade. I'm afraid I'll get that fake congratulations that goes along with it such as, "Well, that was really a good presentation, <insert my name here>, I'm sure you learned something.

That'd mean I basically wasted about 8 people's lunch time to regurgitate crap they already know. I guess there's worst things in this world, it's just that I always take stuff like that and it makes me feel "special". I usually do better presentations than most NTs so I'll just have to suck it up and do this. Presentations are usually my strength, no reason this should be any different. Ugh.....I'm freakin' exhausted.....

Well, at least I'm working on my presentation. I came up with my EPIC title/subtitle

Shoulder Impingement:
It's Totally Different than Heart Disease

What made you pick that particular topic?

This is totally random curiosity. Not meant to be facetious. Please don’t feel “on the spot.”

Is there a connection between the two?

My topic is Shoulder Impingement and the title is meant to be funny. One has nothing to do with the other. They'll get it.

Good luck with your presentation.

My work background is in teaching/tutoring (though not as a teacher as such) and I find presentations OK as a rule - I enjoy sharing my knowledge in the hope it will help others. But I hate it when the audience is already likely to know the stuff. So I get how you're feeling and why you've been putting off the work.

My worst was having to give a presentation on my PhD work (I dropped out of my PhD in the end, but that's another story) at a conference where the audience was 700 experts on the subject. Yeah. That was an experience I'll never, ever, ever repeat. I tried to get out of it but my supervisors wouldn't let me. I put preparing the presentation off until the last possible time, which of course made the whole experience worse and more stressful. Still, it was a free trip to Portugal.

^^You have a Masters Degree. You’re more educated than I am. Why would you want to end your life?

You have lots to give—-to yourself and others. You’ve made mistakes. You’re paying for them. Why punish yourself further?

Yeah...I understand it’s “not that simple.” But, sometimes, it might be that simple.

I royally screwed up an “Honors Day” presentation. I stuttered. I didn’t convey my knowledge too well. People were bored.

You’ll ace this one, Aspie Dad—-especially since you show a sense of humor.

Thanks Kraftie - don't want to derail Aspie Dad's thread, but you said it yourself...it really isn't that simple. And education is good, but not the be all and end all. I really should get back to my thread...

Sorry for the derailment. I just get these “feelings” sometimes.

All my life I have put off some types of chores/work/yeah, presentations too. I'd call it procrastination and thought it was a vaguely moral short coming. I now realize it is aspie-related stress and also the aspie way I think. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, my brain is working hard all along and doesn't spit out the results until the end. Your title is great, by the way.

Lastly, keep in mind the different developmental stages of life. At some point either by virtue of age or length of time on the job, a person, developmentally, should be starting to give back to the next group coming up. By providing these people with a person to mentor, you are doing them a favor/mitzvah/blessing. I know it isn't usually looked at this way, but it is true.

Yeah, I’m not surprised the only one who procrastinates concerning important tasks that are stressful. It’s so easy to call yourself lazy when that happens, but for an autistic it’s so much more. I don’t mean to make excuses for myself or other autistics, it’s just that when it comes to things like completing stressful tasks, we have an even more stressful path than most NTs.

Only three more days to go!

So, as I get further into this clinical, I’m becoming more fatigued. Each day I have less gas in the tank, so to speak. From the beginning I decided to focus less on faking being NT, and more on learning what I could from this clinical. That was a good move. But now I’m noticing I don’t have so much of a choice.

I stopped watching “The Good Doctor” because I was annoyed by how much they make him display autistic characteristics. Now, at this point, I think I’m competing for a spot on the show. I mean, I’m not exaggerating or using hyperbole here. My affect has become flat, I’m doing a poor job of making eye contact, I’m taking things more literally, I am having difficultly recognizing even basic social cues.

Thank God this is reversible. It’s not like “permanent”. Also, I suspect I won’t get entry level with commendation. I guess I shouldn’t be upset. To start at the beginning, I was afraid I wasn’t going to survive. Now I’m disappointed I likely won’t get the highest possible grade from my CI. It’s just, I put in SO MUCH EFFORT.

I bet you’ll do fine, Sir.

Just pretend the audience is in their underwear.

I got that from The Brady Bunch.

The presentation went okay. As far as that was concerned, I think I’ll get a good grade and my CI isn’t going to be a hard grader. I think that’s pretty much the way all CIs are regarding this presentation stuff and the student. I just don’t think it’s a big priority for them.

That being said, two days left! I need to buckle my seat belt because I have 10 patients scheduled for tomorrow with a chance of more. I also have 9 patients on Friday, but that list will likely build. I’ll be honest, I have dreams of making these patients scream my praises from the roof and getting a commendation. C’mon, let the freakin autistic guy get the commendation. Throw him a bone. Why is he referring to himself in the third person?

I think you'll do okay with that. You've been doing okay up to that point.

Only two days left, you've done really well. I'm sure you'll make it through. Just make sure if you have a bad moment, that it stays a bad moment, and doesn't turn into something more (like a meltdown) because you must be exhausted by this point. I don't think it will, just as long as you don't demand perfection from yourself. You don't have to get everything perfect, you just need to do your best. Good luck.