19 Mar 2019, 5:31 pm
19 Mar 2019, 9:16 pm
Fireblossom wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
It seems like the only kind of love I can have 
Yep, can certainly relate to this.
I don't let myself catch feelings for anyone unless romantic connotations have been explicitly established with the person I'm catching feelings for beforehand, and even then, I proceed with extreme caution. It always hurts finding out someone you like isn't interested in you, but making a rule that you restrict yourself from catching feelings for that person before you are sure they reciprocate your interest softens the blow a lot.
That's definitely a smart thing to do but how does one keep themselves from develobing feelings? For me it just... happens and can't be stopped.
Well for one, you don't allow yourself to get caught up fantasising about anyone in a romantic way, or thinking of what could be. You have to assume and remind yourself that they're probably not interested in you, unless or until you get particularly compelling evidence (generally explicit) that they are interested in you romantically
19 Mar 2019, 10:00 pm
19 Mar 2019, 10:41 pm
There are tons of real drugs that do that. Actually it's most of them in one way or another. That's what makes most drugs dangerous. Altered mental states demean our emotions regardless of what we put in our bodies, unless we do everything with fully positive intentions. You're ignoring emotions in your posts without touching drugs.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
19 Mar 2019, 10:58 pm
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
It seems like the only kind of love I can have
Yep, can certainly relate to this.
I don't let myself catch feelings for anyone unless romantic connotations have been explicitly established with the person I'm catching feelings for beforehand, and even then, I proceed with extreme caution. It always hurts finding out someone you like isn't interested in you, but making a rule that you restrict yourself from catching feelings for that person before you are sure they reciprocate your interest softens the blow a lot.
That's definitely a smart thing to do but how does one keep themselves from develobing feelings? For me it just... happens and can't be stopped.
Well for one, you don't allow yourself to get caught up fantasising about anyone in a romantic way, or thinking of what could be. You have to assume and remind yourself that they're probably not interested in you, unless or until you get particularly compelling evidence (generally explicit) that they are interested in you romantically
I've been really careful this time not to fantasize, trying not to think about him at all, but when you have someone there with you, and you interact with them on a regular basis, it's not a fantasy, it's real life interaction and you talk about life together and have fun together... you can't help but fall for them.
I realised I had feelings for him when he was standing right next to me. We were at a party. We didn't know anyone and we were standing in the corner talking and laughing and I just felt happy. Happy that he was there and that I wasn't alone. He looked happy too.
Last edited by hurtloam on 19 Mar 2019, 11:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
19 Mar 2019, 11:04 pm
20 Mar 2019, 12:48 am
20 Mar 2019, 1:39 am
20 Mar 2019, 1:55 am
20 Mar 2019, 1:58 am
20 Mar 2019, 2:12 am
hurtloam wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Sarahsmith wrote:
I know your frustrated because you cant get a man. But at least you have friends. Theres been a lot on my mind lately and it would be nice to have a friend to unload onto but I have never had much luck with friends. So if you cant love a man love your friends.
Love yourself!
Love yourself!
Friends will never give us what we need though. They usually get partners and become focused on them instead. Not to mention friends come with none of the intimacy and closeness of relationships. Friendships just don't cut it.
My friends don't get partners. I'm in a group of perpetually single women. I'm really enjoying having a male friend for a change.
Ok, some have partnered up in the past, but I have this core group of undatable women who I hang out with.
My friends aren’t my friends anymore because they got partners. I don’t have any real friends. I haven’t hung out in person with anyone in years. I have very few vide game friends to play with,as such I never leave my house except for work, if I didn’t work I’d be a total shut in. So enjoy your friends. They may not be single forever. As my ex friends would say they grew up I didn’t.
20 Mar 2019, 3:36 am
hurtloam wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
It seems like the only kind of love I can have
Yep, can certainly relate to this.
I don't let myself catch feelings for anyone unless romantic connotations have been explicitly established with the person I'm catching feelings for beforehand, and even then, I proceed with extreme caution. It always hurts finding out someone you like isn't interested in you, but making a rule that you restrict yourself from catching feelings for that person before you are sure they reciprocate your interest softens the blow a lot.
That's definitely a smart thing to do but how does one keep themselves from develobing feelings? For me it just... happens and can't be stopped.
Well for one, you don't allow yourself to get caught up fantasising about anyone in a romantic way, or thinking of what could be. You have to assume and remind yourself that they're probably not interested in you, unless or until you get particularly compelling evidence (generally explicit) that they are interested in you romantically
I've been really careful this time not to fantasize, trying not to think about him at all, but when you have someone there with you, and you interact with them on a regular basis, it's not a fantasy, it's real life interaction and you talk about life together and have fun together... you can't help but fall for them.
I realised I had feelings for him when he was standing right next to me. We were at a party. We didn't know anyone and we were standing in the corner talking and laughing and I just felt happy. Happy that he was there and that I wasn't alone. He looked happy too.
Well I can't speak to that as I have very, very few female friends, most are more acquaintances that I met through friends and I rarely communicate with any of them. I have no romantic interest in any of them anyway, and I don't believe I've ever had a female friend with whom I had a robust enough rapport with for me to feel like it was appropriate to ask to hang out as friends. I guess as a result I'm more shielded from catching feelings for anyone in the same way that an extreme agoraphobe is more shielded from being murdered on the street, but I can't really consider that a good thing.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,088
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
20 Mar 2019, 9:47 am
So....am I allowed to comment here? 
20 Mar 2019, 1:27 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
So....am I allowed to comment here?
Yeah go for it.
20 Mar 2019, 1:41 pm
20 Mar 2019, 3:03 pm
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