Self-affirmation Pledge for those with AS

Post Reply New Topic

Be excellent to each other.
Party on dudes.

I seriously live by this. Think about it.

Thanks for posting that!

I need to add for myself:

I will learn to better recognize my social limits and will not take on jobs and responsibilities that exceed my people skills.

...without some kind of safety net. We all need to stretch.

(humor me: I'm taking on a stack of jobs and responsibilities that exceed any current estimate of my people skills at the moment. And it hurts. Win, lose or draw, it hurts)

Stretching is one thing. Stretching can be good. On the other hand, too many times have I been offered positions based solely on my knowledge and technical aptitude; but I lacked the people skills that were also required, resulting in an inevitable crash and burn. I need to learn to better recognize that I'm simply not suited for certain things, and to look at the whole picture; not just whether I have the hard skills, but the people skills as well. There's a difference between a "stretch" and "way out of my league".

Cute but I don't believe all of it. The whole "asking for help" thing should only be done if you're completely unable to do it at all. Or until you've broken it beyond the point of fixing.

Thanks for this thread. We don't necessarily need to tape them to the bathroom mirror, but it's good to have them rattling around in our heads the stabilize us when we're sketching out.

For the darker minds (you know who you are), I recommend:

"DAILY AFFLICTIONS
The Agony of Being
Connected to Everything
in the Universe"

Site:
Daily Afflictions

My code has always been.

Discipline is strength,
Strength is survival.

Pain is weakness,
Weakness is death.

There is no pain,
There is no hope.

Kind of depressing, I've been trying to get away from it, but it helps when stubborn is all you have.

It is better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you're not.

(this is my motto because in my school days i tried my damnedest to fit in, only for the true me to show thru with one off move or phrase, and ending up becoming the outcast anyway)

Thank you for this, man. \m/

Holy hell, I seem to've gotten something in my eye - please excuse me.

...

For some reason, I'm put in mind of Steve Martin's old stage routine, "The Non-Conformist's Oath":

For myself, there's the promise I made myself before I had any clue what AS was, back when my first wife left. I'd tried to fit in, and all that had gotten me was a succession of crappy jobs and crappy places to live, and a woman who dumped me when she found a more reliable meal ticket.

The day I had my epiphany about it (when I realized that I and my sixty-something father were sweating in the hot San Diego sun, fixing her car, while she was off playing house with Mr. Wonderful), I looked back on my life and decided it needed changed.

From that day forward, I am who I am. There's nothing I can do to hide it anyway; trying only causes me tsuris, so why bother? Yes, there will be some people who won't understand. There will be some who just plain won't like me because I'm not pretending to be one of them any more. So what?

So frakking what? Why should I let other people control my life, especially when they're people who (by definition) don't like me much anyway? Why should I give them power over my life??

Today I have a wonderful family, we're just about to move into our first we're-actually-buying-this-thing-hot-damn house, and I've averaged happier these past twelve years than any other time in my life - even the part of that twelve years that came before diagnosis!


While you sit there and think about it,
There's another unfolding their wings -
I could tell you what it's like,
But until you try,
You'll never see what I mean...
- Queensryche, "Some People Fly", Hear In the Now Frontier (1997)

Very nice idea. I don't have AS, but PDD-NOS.

Anyhow here's my pledge:

I refuse to hide who I am.

I read this in Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome.

It is really terrific.


Thanks for reminding me.

I've got nothing to hide and nothing to prove.

I am not defective. I am different. True although I can be a bit cold socially so I'm majorly different slightly defective.

I will not sacrifice my self-worth for peer acceptance. I don't care what others think

I am a good and interesting person. True I just hide in my shell so nobody knows that

I will take pride in myself. I do that, as I said I just don't share it

I am capable of getting along with society. Not really. I get along with close friends but prefer to avoid others

I will ask for help when I need it. Heck no.

I am a person who is worthy of others' respect and acceptance. I probably am worthy of their acceptence, I just can't bring myself to strive for it as I actually don't want it that much.

I will find a career interest that is well suited to my abilities and interests. That I can and will do

I will be patient with those who need time to understand me. I'm impatient, full stop. So being patient with others who needa get used to me, no thanks.

I am never going to give up on myself. If I had I'd be dead

I will accept myself for who I am. Aspie and proud


Thanks for the pledge I just don't agree with it all

I can be myself, without getting taken advantage of.