I just want someone to cuddle with :cry:

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I'm very cuddly, especially after my first adult cuddling experience in September of 2009. I need a new cuddle partner, but she must be a single, female tactile signer. I'm looking for one who is NT & has auditory & visual processing deficits due to sensory processing disorder (SPD) instead of being physically DeafBlind.

no real advise but most women with children don't want an "insta daddy" just some companionship and someone who might you know be nice to their kids. Most men don't like women with kids and see the kids as baggage I wouldn't pass on that woman with kids that fast. Especially if the alternative is inflatable or costs 200 dollars. She may be older but she might know how to cook and might actually send you home with food on occasion especially since it's the holidays and if you get her kids something just as a "friend" you might actually meet someone you like as in "oh wow your buying your friend's kids stuff how sweet....." You can use that as an excuse to talk to women....who tend to buy gifts for others at this time of year.

what I looked for when I was dating
1. a Job/financial prospects- husband was 1 yr away from MA in programming
2. Hardworking
3. Ambitious-that didn't hurt an ambitious man wants a nice house and will keep a roof over one's head
4. romance yeah and if you need ideas romance novels aimed at women are full of them
5 clean clothes, clean smelling, deodorant and showered, clean shaved, brushed hair and teeth
6 Kind and caring (yeah husband fooled me)

Places to meet a nice woman
1. Church most have singles meetings and Christmas stuff(although that stuff gives me sensory issues so I avoided it but hey free food is WORTH the overload)
2. school if you are still in school
3. volunteering someplace that helps the needy, sick kids, elderly, or animals
4. Take up some traditionally female hobby and/or interest and join some sort of club that does it....make sure the women are your age not 60+
5. Buy/make take your neighbors something for the holidays at least you won't be alone and most will have family
and there might be someone....avoid this if your neighbors are all guys
6 start your own meetup
7 help out at some children's holiday event (most women do that sort of stuff)
8. Try to not act desperate that in of itself is BAD

Knowing Medi-Cal won't pay for therapeutic counseling, I don't know where to turn to develop better social skills so that I can secure a new relationship with a cuddle partner. I have auditory & visual processing deficits. I only understand 3 to 10 percent of the words I read, so I can't learn anything by reading or watching videos.

okcupid. eHarmony is very, very, very selective on who they pick.

too bad alex hasn't come up with a dating service for those of us on the spectrum.

Actually it wouldn't. At the animal shelter you would meet lots of nice people and perhaps a few nice girls who have joined for the same reason you did.

There are THOUSANDS of people like you but if you sit at home then you will never meet them.

I have this same issue too. I'm single, and going to be 33 next week. When I see a couple I get sometimes a little lonely and sad especially since its the holidays. But someone once told me people wear masks for the world to see. So you see a couple smiling and laughing, and you think they are 100% happy. You have no idea. They may have issues far worse than yours. They can be hiding their true emotions. Is there a singles group that you can join? Maybe a aspergers support group in your area? If you are Christian, some churches have singles groups too. I go to work alone too. I eat lunch alone too. I'm glad I have my own office too. My co workers despise me but it's ok. If I move to another job I will get the same treatment. I have had boyfriends and the last relationship I was with was 3 years. We were going to get married but he just wasn't the one. With me having a boyfriend didn't make me happier. It made me more sad and stressed out. I guess having aspergers made having a boyfriend for me hard. But I do agree with you. To have someone hug you and love you is a wonderful thing.

i would hug and cuddle with everyone of you if i could:)

1. Thanks!

2. Welcome to WP

3. Congratulations!

I have two gerbils to cuddle. They don't like people very much, but I'm barely accepted as "the human that hands us food", so they rarely bite me. That's the amount of affection I'm entitled to in this life.

i must have thick callouses on my hands because when my sister's gerbils bite me i feel just a tickle.

I guess you have, 'cus my father has hands like an orc from half a century of carpentry and the likes, and my pets both got him bleeding

Sorry for derailing thread - but I think OP should consider getting a small, soundless, odeurless pet (as i consider gerbils are) and ask landlord if they are excused.

If only we all lived near eachother. There'd be cuddle-groups springing up everywhere...
I definitely wouldn't object.

*virtual warm hugs for anyone who desires them*

OP-- go to a strip club. You sound like a nice guy. Most customers to strip clubs are not nice guys, and when the dancers meet one, they genuinely appreciate it (much of the time).

Just don't fall in love with one. If you think that could easily happen, stay away. But you should be able to condition yourself to not let it happen.

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I understand how you feel. I, too, am a 'bitter geek'. I envy those 'happy couples' I see walking through the halls at school, on the sidewalk, in shops, etc. But then I think to myself, "Are those people really happy? What are they hiding beneath those smiles?" Maybe it's because I'm a mean person or something, but I take comfort in the fact that most of those couples break up or cheat on each other anyway, considering the modern dating rhetoric. For the most part, as I walk by, even though I'm surrounded by people, I still feel very alone. I go to classes, I go to youth group meetings, but those people don't understand an Aspie like me. I'm usually not very affectionate with people I don't know, but I know that I would be with someone who meant a lot to me. Some nights I cry myself to sleep because I have no one to snuggle with and stuffed animals don't reciprocate, like you said. I tend to drown out my longings by immersing myself in fantasy, like anime, video games, books, writting my own novels, etc. Of course, they don't actually go away. Sometimes, it makes them worse. I, too, will probably die old, sad, and alone. I don't have any advice to offer, just my sympathies because I know all too well how you feel.

i keep my eyes on the prize, which is in heaven.