Why ain't my cousin on the spectrum?

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I'll be OK, it's just the peak of a depressive episode. I get depression that hits me and I feel resentful and jealous of NTs for a couple of days, then I'm OK again.

I'm trying to be NT, and to be like an NT you have to think like them. I don't believe in diets to help me feel more NT. Nothing helps at the moment, with me depression is like the common cold, you just have to let it run its course, then I'm happy and contented again.

But at the moment I hate myself.
Having therapy is difficult for me because it interferes with my sleep. I don't sleep at night and the only time my body is ready to sleep is the morning, so I'm sleeping all morning until midday, and then I work all afternoon. The times I have off are the times therapy sessions don't run (evenings and weekends).
I hate being on meds anyway. I wish I could come off the meds I'm on now but when I get depression episodes like this I wimp out of coming off the meds. If I wasn't on meds right now I probably would be hitting myself angrily, but thanks to the meds I'm more in control.

I think living in a world where most people are obsessed with alcohol and weed while I'm not is what makes me feel more isolated than autism does.

Cancer is a “terrible disease” much of the time.

Autism, for many, is really not a “terrible disease.” There are many degrees of autism.

Many people, autistic or not, don’t have “normal brains.” Many people, despite not having “normal brains,” are more successful than those with “normal brains.”

Nobody hates themselves because they have cancer. They have done nothing wrong to other people merely because of having cancer. Same with autism.

I hope you sleep well, Joe.

Many people with autism happen to have great brains. You might have a unique talent in writing. Who knows?

Why don’t you post your writings here? Or in a blog. Create “episodes.” Make sure you indicate it’s copyrighted, so nobody steals your ideas. Like Charles Dickens.

Just because one is “NT”—one is not immunized from sorrow. Sorrow has many causes, and is frequently manifested in those with “normal brains.”

Why does your boyfriend drink, and can’t help drinking, despite being “NT”?

I am of the opinion that many people are their own worst enemy. They frequently do not have a true conception of themselves.

Who is it that hates autistics so much Joe?
I've never heard any of that vitriol except from you (to be honest.)

Facebook is no barometer of somebody’s “social worth.”

I have about 600 “friends”…..and see maybe 5 of them over the course of a year.

How do you know this is because of autism? ^
It could be any number of reasons.

You have depression and anxiety.
Those happen for people whether they're on the spectrum or not.

If you are as emotionally intelligent as you claim, then know what kind of stories you're telling to yourself and how to process it.
Your own mother, and your experiences in an environment growing up is a big part of that narrative.

Also if you are as empathic and sociable as you claim to work hard for, you would've at least know your culture and dynamics then know how to insert yourself into the picture without coming off as, well, off, even for being blatantly weird and out of place.

Or maybe you're trying too hard.
Or maybe you need to reach below the surface to understand what you're not aware off yet other people from the outside see?

But you got a therapist for that, yes? And safe people to talk to.
And knowing those layers of self are usually painful -- thus why people calling people who are 'honest to themselves' as "brave".
Your rejection sensitivity won't help in particular unless you want or intended to embrace it's pain.

And like there are multiple intelligences, the same can be true with emotional intelligence.

Maybe you're great at social awareness and empathy to show you're closer to being an NT, but poor at the self management and relationships department thus anxiety and depression, issues with befriending others despite being nice and polite...


Again... Mirror inversion of me!

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