Seriously, why is there so much Misogyny on WrongPlanet?!

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Raleigh
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26 Mar 2023, 12:52 am

Yes, There's misogyny.
There's also abusers, groomers, drug pushers, confidence tricksters, scammers, psychopaths, paedophiles...the list goes on...
They're here because it's the internet.
And it attracts people who prey on others, unfortunately.
We're not immune, if anything we're scarily vulnerable.
No one really knows who's here to do what...
Not to scare anyone
But that's the reality.


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Sweetleaf
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26 Mar 2023, 1:17 am

Pepe wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
peopole with autism spend a lot of time online and theree is lot of rabbit holes to go down. I mean luckily my brothers are not into that s**t. But yeah all the red-pill ideology and stuff like that just creates a toxic way of thinnking of like women almost being an alien specicies. LIke we are just people with a vagina but all these red pill guys want to preetend they have us all figured out even thogh a s**t ton of women hate when guys try to use pick up artist tactics on them.

But nah it is for sure a problem here on WP, but has been for a while, like it is nothing new, but still frustrating..


But have you forgotten?
Womyn are from Venus...
And men are from Mars... :P

But seriously, there is a spectrum of attitudes out there.
Some good...
Some bad...
Think of it as a "Bell Curve"... 8)


Oh yes I have heard of that but I kind of figure, actually males and females are from the same planet..crazy idea I know but nonetheless it is what I believe.

I just don't get how it is hard to say women want different things, like I never went for the top 10% whatever that means I took a partner who liked me and was living on a couch since then we have gotten an aparment together, but like yyou know what the f**k would I have done with a so calleed top 10% guy, oh yay maybe they would have sex with me and ditch the b***h. I chose my bf because he wanted to actually stick around and be my boyfriend he is likeely not in the 10% of the top or whatever he even has receeding hair line..and idk if he goes bald I will love him just the same. I just hope his beard does not fall off, but not sure receeding hairline effects a beard. For now though he has enough hair to get a mohawk haircut, which does look good on him. But yeah so idk what 80% of women go for the top 10% men even means like what even makes a man a top man that all the girls are falling over..idk I just don't get that because outside me and my bf I see a lot of couples that aren't super prettyy people so I sorta feel like its not true that 80% of all women are going for just a few top 10 chads, idk maybe on dating sites with a sh***y algorithims that could be the case but outside of that in the real world you see a lot of ugly couples. So clearly all girls are not going for just thee top 10% whatever that means...but are wanting partners they can trust. Like why should a woman have sex with an awkward autist who does not believe in a womans right to abortion for instance?


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Last edited by Sweetleaf on 26 Mar 2023, 2:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

KitLily
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26 Mar 2023, 4:26 am

I think the problem is, in this age when we are drowning in information being thrown at us 24/7, is that everyone is being set against each other, generally by the media.

I have seen and experienced these, I'm not even sure of the correct names for some of them:

Working mothers vs Stay at home mothers
Right wing v left wing
Men v women
Parents v non-parents
Woke v anti woke
Trans v anti trans
Fascist v antifa
Climate change believers v climate change non believers

Everyone is being pushed into extremes, one or the other with no middle ground. It's all made a lot bigger and more obvious because of the internet being in everyone's faces 24/7.

I'm not sure where it will end.


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RetroGamer87
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26 Mar 2023, 5:02 am

It is an unfortunate part of human nature that we try to turn everything into an us vs them argument. I don't think this will ever end because humans can never escape human nature.


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naturalplastic
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26 Mar 2023, 5:12 am

Folks have said this before on this thread, but it bears repeating: 99 percent of the misogyny on WP is in that one forum:the Loath and hating forum.

I doubt that you see much of it outside of there.

So...just dont go there. I avoid it.



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26 Mar 2023, 5:40 am

naturalplastic wrote:
Folks have said this before on this thread, but it bears repeating: 99 percent of the misogyny on WP is in that one forum:the Loath and hating forum.

I doubt that you see much of it outside of there.

So...just dont go there. I avoid it.
I don’t think people should have to avoid a forum because of misogyny, especially if it’s one they want to post in. It’s not at all fair to women who struggle with romance too. Those who regularly write misogynistic posts/threads shouldn’t be allowed to run the show which has been a large part of the problem in L&D, I believe. I think people should just report harmful posts and/or create discussions that are more female-friendly.



Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 26 Mar 2023, 7:42 am, edited 2 times in total.

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26 Mar 2023, 6:42 am

BraveFig wrote:
Why is there so much Misogyny on WrongPlanet?
[opinion=mine]

I think it has a lot to do with men who blame women for the men's lack of success in their searches for relationships/romance/sex with women.  Sort of a "sour grapes" mindset.

[/opinion]

:chin:


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And So It Goes
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26 Mar 2023, 6:50 am

KitLily wrote:
I think it's just a reflection of life these days. Or a reflection of how life has always been, but just on the internet.


Pretty much this. Sadly, misogyny has always been deeply rooted in culture and is something that probably won't go away any time soon.


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26 Mar 2023, 6:59 am

MuddRM wrote:
honeytoast wrote:
Also find it weird that some posters are in committed relationships yet continue to make sexist threads about how bad women are lmao.

:lol:


You never met my parents, especially my father.

While both are no longer the living, both were undiagnosed mentally Ill.


And so are mine.


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Cornflake
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26 Mar 2023, 8:33 am

 ! Cornflake wrote:
A general reminder on threads in The Haven: jokes, satire, and other attempts at humor should not be made because a well-intentioned joke may be taken the wrong way, making a situation worse.

As a result of this rule being ignored, some posts were removed.

There are other relevant rules for The Haven to keep in mind - see:
viewtopic.php?t=297515#p8619172


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KitLily
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26 Mar 2023, 11:27 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
So...just dont go there. I avoid it.
I don’t think people should have to avoid a forum because of misogyny, especially if it’s one they want to post in. It’s not at all fair to women who struggle with romance too. Those who regularly write misogynistic posts/threads shouldn’t be allowed to run the show which has been a large part of the problem in L&D, I believe. I think people should just report harmful posts and/or create discussions that are more female-friendly.


^^this. Exactly right *clapping*

Saying 'don't go into that forum' is the online equivalent of saying 'women shouldn't walk in certain areas because it's dangerous for them.' How is that fair? We deserve to go where we want and places should be made safe for everyone.


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naturalplastic
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26 Mar 2023, 11:47 am

Im a guy, and I sidestep L+D as much as I can, and I was addressing everyone of any gender.

But yes...it should be a resource available to anyone.

But the mods already do a lot of their work there, and it doesn't help.



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26 Mar 2023, 11:52 am

I feel it is a matter of perspective. The only template that some men use is themselves and they don't realize they are doing it; the same can be said for misandry. Its like a micro view versus a macro view.



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26 Mar 2023, 12:12 pm

And So It Goes wrote:
KitLily wrote:
I think it's just a reflection of life these days. Or a reflection of how life has always been, but just on the internet.


Pretty much this. Sadly, misogyny has always been deeply rooted in culture and is something that probably won't go away any time soon.


There are feminist forums that are toxic. I think the internet makes people angry and discontent and its natural to blame the 'other'. Often i have to check myself in order not to become the thing i dislike. To remember there are people on the other end of the internet cable. Its all a big waste of time anyway, resentment just breeds more resentment.



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26 Mar 2023, 12:21 pm

KitLily wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
So...just dont go there. I avoid it.
I don’t think people should have to avoid a forum because of misogyny, especially if it’s one they want to post in. It’s not at all fair to women who struggle with romance too. Those who regularly write misogynistic posts/threads shouldn’t be allowed to run the show which has been a large part of the problem in L&D, I believe. I think people should just report harmful posts and/or create discussions that are more female-friendly.


^^this. Exactly right *clapping*

Saying 'don't go into that forum' is the online equivalent of saying 'women shouldn't walk in certain areas because it's dangerous for them.' How is that fair? We deserve to go where we want and places should be made safe for everyone.


I remember at one point being told not to go into PPR. While I appreciate the sentiment and the warning, I thought that was really unfortunate because I studied Philosophy but I couldn't discuss it in an informed, academic way without certain members acting like it was a no holds barred political street fight, or making it about an American election at that time. I don't like discussing politics and don't follow politics apart from political philosophy but no one was into that. It seemed that people thought the rules didn't apply if I stepped into PPR because the mentality was "enter at your own risk" (??) even though it's governed by the same rules as WP and actually has even more specific or defined rules against bullying, harassment, and personal attacks. My thought was that PPR shouldn't be "enter at your own risk", if the rules were enforced as written. I don't go there much anymore but I think things have possibly (possibly ?!) improved in the last three years.

As for L&D, my point with this ^ is that L&D has earned the same bad reputation for becoming a bloodbath. I think that's regrettable because it could be a helpful resource for people of all genders or with all types of relationship history to support each other. I think CF and the mods have done an excellent job with damage control but it's an ongoing effort as we've all seen, and we all have to be vigilant about keeping sexist or harmful attitudes in check by reporting and following up if we aren't satisfied with the outcome, or if the person continues. Ideally I think all the "I can't get a date with a woman" threads should be combined into one area with a sticky of advice. Those people do have a right to support and their feelings / mental health matter as much as anyone else, provided they aren't being hostile toward women or espousing any political ideology which would be against the rules.

There are lots of other dating topics relevant in L&D. I've tried to start a few, like the one about Disagreements, and one about Narcissists & Liars. Is the Red Flag thread in L&D? (Probably -- sorry, should check.) I'd love to see "Dating after Divorce", "Dating after Trauma", "Dating as a Single Parent", etc. as well as tips on cohabitation, marriage, breakups, divorce, etc. Dating is a lot more complex than "How to meet a girl". Trans and NB members should be comfortable in L&D as well without being corralled into the LGBTQ+ subforum, which isn't necessarily about dating. We had a new member (sorry their name escapes me) who is NB, but felt uncomfortable in L&D. Actually I suppose they're the OP of this thread (silly me!) The fact that they came to WP and were confronted with blatant misogyny is really troubling. It says a lot about our public reputation and the future of this site if we sit back and think nothing can be done. CF is onboard so I hope this thread serves as a wake-up call that we won't tolerate sexist or transphobic ideology against any member of Wrong Planet.

I'd be happy to help write specific rules for L&D if CF is interested in an update. I invite anyone else to contribute as well, including the OP. It would be great to represent a range of voices including all genders and orientations. That's not to be political or malign any existing members, but to support the ones who may be too intimidated to speak up.


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Last edited by IsabellaLinton on 26 Mar 2023, 12:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

BraveFig
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26 Mar 2023, 12:22 pm

Hey, I'm feeling better now, so are there any sub-forums where this thread could be moved to where it would more closely follow the rules than in the haven?? I like this discussion, and I really enjoy reading everyone's responses, too!! :o :D :)