Why are therapists the most awful people in the world?

Post Reply New Topic

I think you're right, but I am white and (somewhat) upper middle class. Although I'm not American, and I live in the US.

The last therapist I saw was experienced in neurodivergence and was ND herself, but she was very difficult to deal with. She was very nice and even sweet, and empathetic, but she had her own notions about who I am and what I am dealing with that had nothing to do with me, and was not open to the possibility that she might have misunderstood or could be wrong. Another thing that makes me nuts is when therapists suggest solutions for problems that have not been brought up at all. This therapist tried to give me a book about masking. I mean, sure, but I am struggling to survive here and crying every day. Masking is not near the top of the list of my problems! I've had therapists give me nutrition advice, and one offered to help me get a free cell phone, when I have no problem paying for a cell phone. There is such limited time in a session, wasting time on non-problems is insulting.

There's been a study that found that 1 in 20 people who have been in therapy reported lasting bad effects. It's presented as some novel idea that no one had really thought of or explored: that therapy can harm rather than help. That might explain the incredibly low number that was reported of harmful effects. Not just from my own experience but from other people I know, I would put that number at about 50% of people going to therapy having bad outcomes. (This study only reported "lasting" effects, so looking just at bad outcomes, distress, and worsening of symptoms the figure would still be much higher than 1 in 20.)

https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/77003681.pdf

yes have not found therapist very supportive.. no ability to have any contact outside of office hours even under the most dire circumstances .Occassionally they will listen, but that was the beginning and the end of their abilities it seemed .

I don't think therapists or psych's interact with people on the spectrum very well- neither do they do well with people who have been traumatized. I've seen many of them....maybe there are some that are helpful but in my experience most are very arrogant and think of themselves more than they should.

I have met maybe a few in mental hospitals I had to go to- however the CNA's were often the most helpful if I am honest.

I have an appointment with a new therapist today.

Just now, I was going over in my mind what happened the week before last, when I saw my previous two therapists in the same week (for the last time, because it was so awful with both). I was thinking it through in order to get ready to try to explain to the new therapist the problems I have had with therapy. And it upset me so much just to think about how terrible the experience was that I couldn't stop crying, and was really tempted to send them each an email to ask them why they would do this to me and to try to understand why they would do this to me, but I didn't because I know it's considered wrong. But it's not that I want to vent at them or yell at them, I really would love to understand why they would be so horrible to me.

The first therapist, I'll call her L, I saw for the past year+, until I got to be really really sick, spiraling, and couldn't function or cope at all, and she got scared (I guess) and insisted I had to see someone more qualified. So I made an appointment with the second therapist, J, who specializes in neurodivergence. But I didn't think I would have to stop seeing L, who was not perfect but whom I greatly relied on for emotional support. Instead she refused to see me anymore and I was devastated.

But okay, I thought I would just see J and give her a shot. She was very nice and even sweet but absolutely did not listen and was not open to the possibility that her assumptions about me were inaccurate, and it was incredibly frustrating. I saw her 6 times in all and left her office sobbing in frustration at least 3 times. The last time I actually told her I was frustrated because I had not had an opportunity in 6 sessions to even begin to explain what is going on with me and what is troubling me, and she just waved it off, saying, "Oh, I understand it." (????! !! !!) It was more involved than that, but when I left her office I was so upset I actually screamed to the heavens when I was outside, and then sobbed for two hours.

So then L miraculously agreed to see me 3 days later, because I was no longer seeing J. I was so relieved. And then when I went to her office, hoping and expecting to get some support and solace, she just gave me a verbal spanking for my having been upset that she had dumped me when I needed her, and for sending her an email that was in no way mean or insulting but very upset. And she said that my having been upset impugned her professionalism. And that she was going to hold me accountable for things I didn't even know I was (and would be) somehow implying, with subtext that I am unaware of. I was so hurt and devastated that I left her office sobbing too.

So now I am trying again with a new therapist and it's hard to see why I would risk putting myself through this again, except that I need someone to help me and I don't know what else to do.

Even if all of this is somehow my fault, I don't know how to change it or how to do it differently.

Sounds like L needs therapy herself