Where's Icarus_Falling

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You have issues.

Seriously. Seek help.

Awefully big attitude for someone hiding behind a pink plush toy

It appears that points of conversations elude you. I would try avoiding bulldozing into something that was long since resolved and you have no idea about before you let your thoughts spill forth showing this.

Believe me if I ever have a need to "take a b***h" out on someone you'll be the first to know In the mean time though I will continue to just say no to stupidity.

Furthermore if IF can put up with this 3 ring circus I'm pretty sure he can accept the fact that I don't give a flying f**k

Now go hide behind something bigger.

That is all.

Bye!
Don't call us, we'll call you!

Does anybody else just love this photo?

It has layers of meaning and depth!
On the one hand, it's almost lifeless. Just natures untidy sprawl, a mess
of rubble, a sprinkle of sand, ripples in the water, captured oblivious in it's timeless patience.
Indifferent to Ice Ages or flash floods.
But still, alive with patterns, direction. Tiny little hints that perceived chaos
is only ignorance of the Fractal flow that emerses us.
All juxtaposed by that most ephemeral thing of all, a mans shadow.
The shadow of a man standing.A man contemplating.
What could be more transitory? The man himself? The act of standing?
The moment in contemplation of his shadow?

This is a really poignant photo I_F.
It makes me feel like the shadow is contemplating me!

When I first learned of this thread, I hated it; it made me angry, like Russell Crowe gets when a paparazzi shoves a camera in his face while he's trying to have a quiet holiday; so many different genres of thought and feeling colliding in ways that no onlooker would understand; volatile compounds being cast haphazardly into an open pit, intermingling and reacting in a way such that normal people could only cordon off the pit with razor wire and label it "Toxic Waste".

But a key facet of my own special madness is the core belief that all things happen for a reason; my experience has borne this notion out, repeatedly, consistently; and I have foolishly squandered my finite time gnashing my teeth and beating my head against the while, while I should have been doing my job questing for meaning and understanding. I do not like to be wasteful, and the notion makes me feel foolish and ashamed. And so I pull down that "Toxic Waste" sign, and replace it with one that says "Ye Olde Swimming Hole". Oil-slick rainbows are both horrible and beautiful.

High in the echelons of my personal pantheon sits the goddess Eris; among other things, strife is her domain; she chose me, and I know not why; we have this bizarre love-hate thing going on; we both know that I will kill her during the final battle, and I will weep for an eon after doing so. Some things, however unfortunate, are simply unavoidable. Don't think so? Look me in the eye and tell me life is a fair thing. Yeah. In any case, I mention her because she has had a hand in guiding this thread. Is this obvious to anyone other than me? "For the fairest..."

syzygyish, if Icarus Falling manifesting as Icarus Missing is disturbing for you, imagine what such a thing is like for me. For it does happen, and not irregularly; it is the way of things, a way I seem to have no way of changing; and believe me, I have tried, still try. [I owe you a PM; I have not forgotten.]

Amanda Joy, I think you may be right; Icarus waxes and wanes regardless of neurochemical manipulation. I was compelled to summon him on Saturday, but the feeling was not unlike exhuming Icarus from a quiet and peaceful grave. And though he grudgingly put on some semblance of performance, his heart was not really in it, for that is a thing beyond the strings of puppetry, even for me.

And lo, yestereve when I am not even thinking about such things, I'm startled to feel a tap on my shoulder; I turn, and there is Icarus! He told me many things, and I'm kicking myself now for not writing them all down, for in truth I now only recall a fraction of them. Icarus is intermittent, transient, and like most everyone I sometimes get annoyed with him over it, suspect that he is like that on purpose just to be difficult and then laugh in the dark about it. You tell me what that means, if you are inclined to.

postpaleo, I just wanted to say thanks for paying attention to me at all. It would not be far from the truth to say that the only reason I ever babble in my MySpace blog is to see what interesting comments I can illicit from you and Calandale. Snicker snack indeed.


That was long ago, so long that can even say that I was relatively young back then. But I can assure you that tales of my demise at the conclusion of that famous incident were somewhat exaggerated; in the Age of Myth and Legends, many things were readily possible which these days are dismissed as figments of fantasy. A time of gods and monsters and epic journeys... We'll get there again, but only after we destroy ourselves.


Oh, is that what happened? You of all people should know that Icarus is too stupid to run from battle. And when he does run away, it is not called running away; it is called making a strategic advancement towards the rear, and always with the express purpose of tactically regrouping.

I say in complete sincerity that a paranoid schizo-girl with rampant delusions of homicidal mania telling me that I have "serious issues" is one of the highlights of my strange life, a claim to fame which I am pleased to embrace. You're not the first to reveal that revelation to me, and you won't be the last; but you have the most convincing credentials of all who have reached that level of understanding.

You did piss me off with your latest very public wiggout; but you also served me a powerful lesson, that while I can be exceptionally patient and tolerant, I should never be so arrogant to presume that either of these virtues are things I possess in infinite quantity.

And now you are gone, just when I was ready to miss you. But I know you will be back, and even though you have a disturbing inclination towards punishing me for being nice to you, I do look forward to hearing from you again. You are my teacher.


Since we've been corresponding for the better part of a year, would that make me long dead, or immortal? Think carefully about that.


You and I are brothers in many ways, I think. Or maybe I just like to believe so because I am envious of your style. When you finally get your Cult of Misanthropy going, I will offer my services to your cause.


Thank you. The lack of invite was not meant as an overt action with explicit intent; as we both have observed, pushing certain things when the timing is not right will only cause something beautiful to fly to pieces of smoldering debris. I do make mistakes, but I also learn and adapt.

Mayhaps next time. The future remains a thing undefined.

Good fortune,

- Icarus Waxing

Whenever you talk about Star Trek, I think of the classic hair song by Poison, "Talk Dirty To Me", and I feel inclined to spoof-cover it into "Talk Trekkie To Me", just for you. But there is something to be said for the original version, don't you think? Hmm.

Perhaps attending one's own funeral has a special trekkie theme to it. Now I'll have to go research Voyager episodes and see if I can figure out which one you're talking about. For my own part, I was thinking of a scene near the end of The Next Phase, the excellent funeral-party conceived of by Data, complete with balloons and a swing band. I hope my funeral is like that, with people fondly recollecting knowing me and the impact that I had on their lives.

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra? Shaka, when the walls fell. Not sure about you, but I never made it as far as Tanagra. I had something of an opportunity to go once, but I did not; I'll likely be second-guessing that decision for the rest of my life. In retrospect, I think I was just afraid. I do not handle fear well; or perhaps I handle it too well for my own good; but in either case, I spent too much of my early life gasping for breath whilst drowning in a sea of fear. To cope, I taught myself to translate fear to rage, trading one negative emotion for another. And while neither fear nor anger are particularly desirable states to be beholden to, anger has the attribute of being high-energy, while fear tends to be an energy sink. Once the trade is made, the problem then becomes how to direct and focus destructive energy in a constructive way, a problem I am still trying to solve. If you're wondering what the hell I'm babbling about in this paragraph, please excuse my penchant for neck-breaking tangents. But I do wonder if you are wondering.

I think that you may be more like B'Elanna than you allow yourself credit for, and in many more ways than one; from warp fields to word-weaving, gifted talent is what it is. Of course being too much like B'Elanna might not be the greatest thing. I seem to recall her once going so emotionally numb that she took to some very serious self-injury. And didn't she try to genetically cleanse some things she confusidely hated about herself from her unborn baby? Would you have done that, given the opportunity and capability?

Please give Bob a hug for me.

Good fortune,

- Icarus contemplates JPL and parallel universes...

Your perception and interpretation are brilliant, syzygyish. [As always. ] I took over 400 photos on this particular excursion, and that is probably my favourite one; I suppose I only posted a few of the photos here, but I am bedazzled that you picked this particular one to comment on.

It was not an arbitrary shot; it was carefully composed as a self-portrait that is, exactly as you said, layered with meaning; it is, in essence, a photo of my true self. My interpretation of the photo is something I will keep to myself for the moment, but I am thrilled to hear yours, even more thrilled that it was unsolicited; the photo is a puzzle begging to be solved, but it is a hidden puzzle, so the first step in solving the puzzle is perceiving it in the first place.

Contrast: Upon showing my adventure photos to an acquaintance (who tends to aggravate me because he took a photography class once, and is now an "expert" on photographic composition), he saw that one and commented something like, "That's a beautiful photo of water flowing over those rocks... But next time, pay attention to where the sun is so your shadow doesn't wreck the shot."

Hahaha, "normal" people.

I am blessed to know a relatively unsmall number of very unique people; some of those people are so unique, many "normal" people fail to perceive any value in them at all. From them about the unique ones, I get questions like, "What do you see in that person?" or "Why do you put up with that person?" I see what I see, and what I see is very real to me, but it is often not an easy thing to quantify in words. And I have been the recipient of such queries specifically regarding you, syzygyish. And to my shame, my answers feel flat, weak, unconvincing.

I am going to bookmark that post of yours. And the next time someone says to me, "syzygyish just spouts nonsense; what do you see in him and his writings?" I'm going to point them to that post and just answer, "The same thing syzygyish sees in that photo. And if that doesn't answer your question, then the answer is beyond you. Sorry."

It is a strange irony that brilliance is often perceived as its opposite; this is a running theme in my life regarding the people of whom I tend to be the fondest. I count myself blessed to be able to preceive such overlooked brilliance.

Good fortune,

- Icarus cannot cast a shadow without light...

Ahhh not to worry, we shall road trip one day hopefully in the not so distant future. That aside I love to go places and would have happily trailed along quietly just to see more.

I don't believe anything was shattered, just shoved off to the side until such a time things could be dealt with.

good to see you back, IS. hope the wax melts slowly this time.

nice pictures the background looks like a cross of paradise lost and wrong turn