Tias wrote:
Isn't that actualy your problem for opening up to to many people then? If you open up to the wrong people all the time it's your problem, and you mate, just had bad luck, and opend up to the wrong people, and, most likly sucked : /
looks matter to nowadays....and if your so wind up about all this that your basicly suicidal, due to having been rejected by women, then thats just sad.....you're sad.....life is not about having a partner. You do what you enjoy, althou if what you enjoy is, to have a girlfriend then it's a bit of a problem, but what about stop being so emo and do something else?
So in short: Stop feeling so bad for yourself and take some actions. If it hurts oh so badly, then find something else to do, really : /
Want to write that again so it actually makes sense?
Man your posts are long. Do you expect my ADD riddled brain to sift through them? Especially when there either a mixture of mocking my intelligence or a bunch of facts that are facts to you alone.
What is it with you and NaturalTrapist? You think you are on some sort of crusade or something? I bet you think you are being really smart.
Anyone can BS stuff like ‘do something else’. Don't pretend you are you are offering him something constructive. On the off chance you do have something, you won’t articulate it.
@Ken depression can be ‘triggered’ but it is a chemical imbalance in the brain after all. It may help to avoid ‘rationalising’ thoughts that are not very rational in the first place, and step out of the emotion to see it for what it is: A feeling.
If you are really down, you can be in an irrational microcosm or bubble, isolated from logic. If you are like this and can’t think straight then I would say sleep is the best option.
There isn’t anything specifically “bad” about the obituary thing, if these are just impersonal thoughts, but really you are projecting your problems which don’t have much to do with the people who died. However, you could say it is no less absurd than the common display of empathy that is often made a song and dance out of. They are also falsely assuming they know what it is like to be “in someone’s shoes”. You don’t know about these people that died. The world mightn’t have been that cruel to them. They could have been living it large for all you know.
Some are more naturally resilient than others, but I strongly believe you can learn and acquire resilience. If you keep picking yourself off the floor, dusting yourself off, and telling yourself these are just emotions, you do eventually become numb to these hurdles. You stop thinking of them as absolute failures but rather temporary setbacks. It is a gradual and targeted thing. Of course there is regression always, and I’m a hypocrite, but I try to keep my head above water and stay positive (or at least neutral) as much as I can.
People are selfish, including you. Most want similar things and it causes disappointment sometimes. You are responding to natural desires but in your conscious mind you are converting frustration in to widespread resentment and projection. Really people are just doing what they do, and they have nothing against you. Mostly they are not thinking of you at all, if you don’t know them. Everyone is going to try to get the best deal they can (such as in relationships) according to them, and you can’t really blame them for that.
You don’t have to tolerate people who walk over you, though you shouldn’t view new people in you life as suspicious, if you really want to be around them that is. You have to give them a chance. But if they asking for unreasonable requests, then move on, they aren’t worth your time. Getting too attached will not help as you know it is a waste of time but a very easy mistake to make. You want something desperately and that will be quite apparent to people who can read that sort of thing. So I wouldn’t try to run before you can walk. I have the same learning curve you do. It is a communication and social skills difference. We don’t have the same inherent behaviours. However they are not conscious of their inherent behaviour either, which is another reason not to resent them for it. They can’t help being the way they are, just like you can’t help being the way you are. If you are learning skills that people have instinctually but aren’t aware of, that is doubly impressive.
People are no saints for sure, but neither are you. It all just about satisfying each others neurology. From your brain’s perspective, outside your conscious thoughts (which merely obscure everything), things like relationships, and much else, are really just stimuli, and it can be demonstrated that when such stimuli is presented to a subject it will indeed light up the associative parts (such as pleasure centres) of the brain on a functional scan. This is what these interactions are for, to cause a wonderful light storm in someone’s brain. That’s basically the gist of it right there. It is not cynical saying this in the slightest, it is rather beautiful actually. Whatever the relationship, be it friendship or couples or you are satisfying each other’s neurological needs though it.
The mutual thing is a learning curve. I’m working on it myself. I have come a long way, still yet to figure out long term companionship. I will get there with a positive attitude, the odds aren’t impossible.
Man your posts are hella long. My ADD riddled brain isn't gonna sift through them. Especially when they're a mixture of mocking my intelligence and saying exactly what me and Tias said only nicer and in a way that makes us seem like the bad guy.
31 Dec 2008, 1:22 am
